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Old 02-12-2013, 02:48 PM   #1
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He just will not leave his sister alone...Discipline with Aspergers?

Ok so our almost 6 yr old has Aspergers. He is constantly on his sister (she is 3) Chasing her, hitting her whenever she is in her space, it is constant I mean all day long and this has been going on for at least this whole last year. I don't know what else to do, we have tried cool down breaks (time outs), taking the toy away he is playing with at the time of the occurence. Positive rewards for playing nicely with his sister. Nothing is working! I almost feel like it is impulse control thing for him, harrassing her and constantly chasing her has kind of become a twisted fixation that he likes to do. Its like its something he How do I teach him to keep his hands and body to himself?

Also when we go to visit the grandparents all he wants to so do is wrestle with me on the floor, he will crash into me tackle me and actually be pulling my down the entire time we are there, and if he is not doing that to me he is back to chasing his sister. This will literally go on for and entire 2 hours we are there with no success in getting him to engage with anyone else.

We do OT for sensory seeking behavior, any ideas of what else I should be doing to help curb some of this?

Also what is the process of discipline for children on the spectrum. I got in a lengthy discussion with my parents about his behavior and they still just say he is not being disciplined, that the message is not being made clear enough to him that he has to stop his behavior. They are pretty old school in thought, always leaving you shaking in your boots as a child with yelling, spanking, badgering, belittleing etc. I have no Idea how to explain things to them. They are constantly tying to interject while I'm trying to work though things with our son. Do anyone elses children ganrdparents try to take over when you are right there in the room, how on earth do I address this??


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Old 02-12-2013, 03:00 PM   #2
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Re: He just will not leave his sister alone...Discipline with Aspergers?

I have an 8 yo aspie and a 6 yo with aspergers. I'd say changing behaviors takes more work on the moms part. First, I'd pick one small behavior that will be easier to correct then move up to hitting or whatever 1 behavior is the most concerning. If he hits daily I would give rewards every 30 min he doesn't hit and maybe a bigger reward at the end of he day.

But, in general, I don't like rewards based on the absence of a negative behavior. I'd list out very specific things he can do instead. He needs some way to immediately complain about his sister. It could be a tap records or writing of some kind. Every time he does an alternate complaint he should get a reward, even if he does 50 in an hour.

Come up its a list with his ot of gross motor high sensory things he can do. Maybe certain exercises, if he does one for 5 minutes he gets a reward.

The immediate reward could be a recognition mark/sticker at can cumulate into something else.

The most important thing with consequences is to make sure you are consistent. Expect any plan to be good for a bit and then there is an extinction burst. It can take 30 days of th exact same plan before you see any consistent improvement, be ready for that. You will be working much harder than he does at first
Suzi, working mama to my ODS(2004) , YDS(2006), DSD(2004) and married to the love of my life
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:03 PM   #3
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Re: He just will not leave his sister alone...Discipline with Aspergers?

I am too worn out to give my thoughts at the moment...but I can I say I feel your pain. On all of it, including the grandparents part. Takes time to educate others. Takes time and energy to educate yourself. I am having to relearn how to parent especially when it comes to discipline. Prayers and hugs!
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