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Old 03-30-2012, 08:55 AM   #1
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Will your DH take time off work after baby?

DH and I are already arguing about this. He takes off the one or 2 days I've been in the hospital because he has to care for the other children while I sit alone at the hossy. And then when I get home he goes back to work saying he doesn't have the type of job that he can just not go to work. He also says if he is at home he isn't doing anything but sitting around. Since we are having a homebirth this time I'm worried he will be going back the next day and really, I need his help! I can't care for 5 other kids after just giving birth.
I guess the argument started because he wants to go on a vacation in a couple weeks. It is no vacation for me to travel with 5 kids, still cook all the meals, try to keep them quiet in a hotel or wherever we will be staying and not have the comforts of home. Its extremely stressful! And I just don't think the climb is worth the view. Not to mention it costs a lot of money. But he is insisting that he needs a week off work.
I love my husband dearly and he is such a hard worker. But he is not getting me! I need help! He works with a family business(locksmiths!). So if he is working, his mom will have to come help me. And I'd rather have DH.

Sorry this turned into a rant. I started out just curious what others were planning to do. Do any of you have plans yet?

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Old 03-30-2012, 09:08 AM   #2
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Re: Will your DH take time off work after baby?

DH is an acupuncturist with his own practice, so he's not planning on taking anytime off beyond being with me in the hospital because we need the money with me taking time off after the baby. I have a great support network of family - both his and mine that live within 20 minutes of us, so it's not a big deal.
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:32 AM   #3
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Re: Will your DH take time off work after baby?

DH is, he really has too because he is military and we live a thousand miles from any family. They might be there, but they will buy their plane tickets in advance and it's more luck than anything else--plus they are being real stubborn insisting they don't want to come up til closer to the EDD despite the fact I have 4 kids and none have been later than a week early. I think it's unreasonable for you to care for all your other small children the day after you give birth. Infact I think it would be reckless for him to leave you by yourself so soon afterwards so unless his mother is going to be their for the duration I'd tell him to forget it. And HE wants a vacation? Where is your vacation? He needs a week off work but he thinks you don't even need a few days to recover from child birth?

Seriously, I am twitching I am so upset for you. You need to "nicely" inform him you aren't a robot.
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:32 AM   #4
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Re: Will your DH take time off work after baby?

ack...DP again...
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:32 AM   #5
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Re: Will your DH take time off work after baby?

oops DP
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:35 AM   #6
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Re: Will your DH take time off work after baby?

We just had DS last week and it was par for the course as far as his time off went so I'll just tell about it. We induced Thursday (high BP) so he took that day off but had to work Friday & Saturday. So he spent the night Thursday, went to work Friday (8-5 to cover for his GM who normally is off Thursday), spent the night Friday, and worked Saturday morning and got back to the hospital about 30 minutes before we checked out and drove us home. He had Sunday & Monday as his scheduled off days (didn't have to request them). My mom came and stayed with me Tuesday while DH was at work. Wednesday, he had the closing shift so he stayed home with me until 2pm and I was alone with the girls and baby boy that evening for the first time. It went pretty smoothly for the most part. Thursday and today, he's working opening/day shift and gets home around 5:30pm so it's been interesting. I'm trying to rest as much as possible so I either relax in the bed while the girls play in the living room or their room (I can see straight down the hall into the living room) or I sit in my rocker in the living room. I promised my MW that I would rest as much as possible this week since my BP was so high so I'm trying to stay off my feet...it's hard sometimes though. I'm sorry your husband is being so difficult about it. Honestly, I'd say he needs to suck it up. You don't need to be going that much right after baby is born. As my MW explained to my DH, you don't want your uterus falling out! If he wants sex and more babies, he needs to be taking care of you so you can rest after baby is born...at least the first few days! If he has vacation time coming up then he needs to use it to help with the family so you can recuperate.
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Old 03-30-2012, 10:13 AM   #7
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Dh is a manager at sams club and he is allowed paternity leave lol....like 6 wks paid. But we have always just done two off before he goes back, well maybe more like 10 days. After that, I'm usually in the flow of life with new baby and he can go back!
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Old 03-30-2012, 10:50 AM   #8
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Re: Will your DH take time off work after baby?

My DH only took 2 days off and that was the day I delivered and while I was in the hospital. He took our oldest to school in the morning, did a few service calls, come home and work from his computer and then go pick our oldest back up from school. So he was gone for a couple of hours, and then home to help with lunch and nap time for our middle DS and then home later to help with dinner. It worked out really well for us. This time it will be summer to all 3 boys will be home for vacation. My parents, DH's parents and a few of my siblings live in town so I'm hoping that they will occasionally pick the boys up and take them to the park or something so that they can burn off energy during the first couple of weeks after the babies born.
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Old 03-30-2012, 11:03 AM   #9
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Old 03-30-2012, 11:07 AM   #10
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Re: Will your DH take time off work after baby?

I'm not sure, probably not cause he works over night shifts so he can still be here to help during the day! So maybe he will just take 2 days off or something we will see.
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