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Old 04-08-2010, 01:23 PM   #1
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HELP!

So my 3 yoa has started a nasty, nasty habit here in the last...oh, idk, week or so?

Last Friday, I was laying him down for a nap because hw as tired something fierce. So I laid him down and he rared back and slapped me across the face. He told me he hated me and he didn't want to lay down. I told him he was extremely tired and he needed to lay down before it got too late and I laid him down again. We went through nearly an hour of him hitting, scratching, and/or kicking me. If I got up and walked away, he'd just follow and hit me while I was walking away. Finally, he took a deep breath (I kid you not, at least an hour) and asked me to rock him. I picked him up, rocked him and he was out w/i 5 minutes.

He's thrown these violent fits randomly through the week. He shakes, growls and tells me he's MAAAAD at me, in this linda blair sort of voice (sorry I have to laugh...otherwise, I'll cry. A lot.)

So today, we went to check out a new kid's resale shop in town and when we got home, I explained to him he needed to go in, wash his hands (he was eating cotton candy), go potty and grab his blanket. I was going to let him lie down on the couch and watch some Noggin while he rested. He said he didn't want to, but I told him he was sooo sleepy and he needed to. So i came around the truck, opened his door and unbuckled his seatbelt. He rared back again and slapped me across the face. He got the linda blair voice and told me he hated me. It was so random? I grabbed his arm (his hands were sticky) and helped him down out of the truck. I told him to go straught to the bathroom and wash his hands. He started screaming bloody murder (quite embarassing, considering there were about 20 men building a house across the street)...and ran into the house and sat on the couch with his arms crossed. I told him again to do what I said. He said no. So I grabbed his arm and walked him down the hallway, put him on the stool and washed his hands. i told him to go to his bed because little boys who throw fits don't get to watch cartoons while they rest. He ran out of the bathroom, down the hall and into the kitchen. He threw the pantry door open and hid. I picked him up to take him to his bed and he hit and scratched and kicked me the whole way there. We went through another 45 minutes of this with him telling me he hates me, is mad at me and i'm not his mommy. Finally, he accidentally wet his pants and threw his arms around me saying he wet his bed. I took him potty, changed his sheets, laid him back down and I've not heard a word from him since.

I know three year olds throw fits. I'm fortunate we've not dealt with it before now, but my concern is the violence he's portraying. We're not violent and it's very concerning for me.

I told my sister that, up until about a month ago, he stayed with a stay at home sitter who had WAAAAAAY too many kids she was taking care of. He rarely had supervision and did whatever he pleased. I had a run in with her and stopped using her and cut my hours waaaay back @ work (from 60 to 30...yikes!). I now work just enough to keep my insurance because I'm pregnant. My grandma watches him three days a week so he doesn't have to go to the sitter and I'm positive there's no violence there.

My theory is that now mommy's not working crazy long hours nad trying to put some structure back in, he's rebelling. I'm fine with that, I just need to know how to stop the violent ways.

He makes my husband crazy when he does this because he's so afraid Justin is goign to kick my stomach and harm baby. I'm more concerned because I just don't know where all this anger is coming from.

Someone help!

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Last edited by jessesgirl; 04-08-2010 at 01:57 PM.
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Old 04-08-2010, 02:11 PM   #2
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Re: HELP!

Wow. That sounds like a tough situation. In this house if DD or DS hits anybody, we say loudly "That hurt." and take them to their room immediately. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. We put them in their room, shut the door and do not say anything to them. No interaction what so ever. They can kick and scream in their room all they want. If they try to get out (which they did the first time or two) I have literally sat outside their door holding it shut. I don't say anything, just keep it shut and keep them in their room. Now they know better and don't try to get out. I wanted them to learn that getting angry and violent got them absolutely zero attention/reaction from us, which was often the main reason they did it. They wanted us to react. When they calm down and say they are ready to apologize they can come out.
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Old 04-08-2010, 06:43 PM   #3
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Re: HELP!

I tell him fairly consistently through the fits that little boys who can't control their emotions aren't able to control their bodies/ I have to hold his hands and feet sometimes.

We did that with him when he was smaller and it worked perfectly. I hadn't really considered doing it again/ Maybe this week we will invest in another baby gate to make that happen. He is really...really bad abotu following me, though. The baby gate may be just the ticket!

He's thrown two more fits today...it just seems he's outta control and I don't know how...or when it happened!
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Old 04-08-2010, 10:02 PM   #4
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Re: HELP!

He may not have seen the violence anywhere, but sometimes kids that age just can't control their emotions, especially when tired or hungry. He's just really really mad and the way he is showing it is thru hitting. You need to be consistent in letting him know that he CAN NOT hit or hurt anyone. It may take a long time, even months of a consistent approach. I wouldn't stay with him when he's hitting or kicking you. Just calmly put him in is room and say that hitting hurts and you can't let him hurt anyone. Leave him in there, alone, until he calms down. Then have a little talk about hitting and that he can't be around anyone if he is going to hit. As for the "I hate Mommy", well that's pretty normal and I think we're going to be hearing that one a lot until they are in college!!!!
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