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Old 02-24-2016, 02:04 AM   #1
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How did you know it was time?

How did you know it was time for another? We have 1, DD, 18 months old. She's been such a handful, and she's always so clingy. But lately, I've been getting alot of me time, and she's been gradually sleeping in her own room for a change. Sure she wakes up at night and eventually ends up in our bed but she's doing so well. I slowly, but surely feel my stress going away and I actually, for once feel like things are going so well and I'm nailing motherhood. For a long time I was like "Um no, I don't want anymore kids" but lately I've just been feeling so incomplete. I think about being pregnant again, and having those newborn snuggles again, and I just get so giddy and warm inside. DH and I agreed we were going to wait to TTC until he makes E-5, which is soon, but just a few weeks ago, I told him I wasn't sure I wanted anymore babies for a while. And when I say a while, I mean until DD was atleast 4 years old. I dunno if it's just hormones, baby fever, or what, but how did you know it was time??

I also though feel kind of guilty for thinking this because I love my DD sooo dearly. I almost feel kind of bad to be thinking about having another.

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Old 02-24-2016, 09:46 AM   #2
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Re: How did you know it was time?

Having more kids doesn't mean you love DD any less and you love for her won't fade when you have another.

It's a personal decision but when you know, you know.

Had your DH taken the test for E5?
I wouldn't put my family planning on rank. My DH hit a block years ago. For 3 years he was in the top 0.4% of E6 testing but didn't make rank because each testing cycle only like 3 E6 slots came up. If there's no space for them they don't get to move up.

If you want a baby have one. If you feel like it's not a good time wait or don't have one.

One thing I will tell you is that you will never regret thekids you have. You will only regret the ones you didn't have.
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Old 02-24-2016, 02:46 PM   #3
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Re: How did you know it was time?

Hehe... I don't think there's ever a "right" or "perfect" time where kids are concerned. When my first turned one, I got all weepy and wanted another baby! Our second was born just two days after her 2nd birthday. At the time I was stressed dealing with a potty-training toddler and a newborn. Of course now that they're older (8 and 6), I love how close they are in age because they get along so well. I knew I wanted to wait a bit longer for #3, and since I didn't really have an I-need-another-newborn-now! urge, that made it easier. We eventually decided to stop using birth control and "see what happened." So, while there are almost exactly two years between the first two, there are three+ years between the next.

Same thing happened last year... decided to see what would happen... then we miscarried (#4), so it's really thrown us for a loop. Losing a baby has really put things into perspective, and even though it's been a very challenging situation, getting pregnant a few months later (now 12 weeks with #5) wasn't so shocking because we had already been planning for a baby anyway. There will be three+ years between #3 and #5, with slightly more of a gap because of the miscarriage.

I'm of the opinion that more kids are better because they entertain each other, keep each other company, become each other's friends and your helpers. A big age gap doesn't mean they won't be close, but I think the closer they are together the more likely they will form those bonds because they will have similar things in common.

Oh... and you have plenty of love to go around! Each of my children are so different, with strengths and challenges and unique qualities. You won't love the other(s) any less, but there will be stages in your life when you may have to pay more attention to one over the other. It's only natural.

Good luck!
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Old 02-24-2016, 03:32 PM   #4
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Re: How did you know it was time?

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Originally Posted by kushie tushie View Post
Having more kids doesn't mean you love DD any less and you love for her won't fade when you have another.

It's a personal decision but when you know, you know...


If you want a baby have one. If you feel like it's not a good time wait or don't have one.

One thing I will tell you is that you will never regret thekids you have. You will only regret the ones you didn't have.
ITA!! AND I think the bold words are the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful words I have ever heard from someone advising someone about having a child (or not to and/or when)& they weren't even directed at me, but were what I needed to hear too!
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Old 02-24-2016, 03:50 PM   #5
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Re: How did you know it was time?

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Originally Posted by karlitacat View Post
Hehe... I don't think there's ever a "right" or "perfect" time where kids are concerned...

Same thing happened last year... decided to see what would happen... then we miscarried (#4)...

I'm of the opinion that more kids are better because they entertain each other, keep each other company, become each other's friends and your helpers. A big age gap doesn't mean they won't be close, but I think the closer they are together the more likely they will form those bonds because they will have similar things in common.

Oh... and you have plenty of love to go around! Each of my children are so different, with strengths and challenges and unique qualities. You won't love the other(s) any less, but there will be stages in your life when you may have to pay more attention to one over the other. It's only natural.

Good luck!
Also great words of advice!! about your MC!!

I have kids that are from almost 5 years apart to some that are 25 mos apart. I honestly wouldn't change any of their ages, spacing, etc. though I will say that having them closer together is much harder when they are young, IMO.

For me personally if I were going to choose spacing I would aim for the youngest to be 3 (3+) years apart or so from a newbie... then the 3 YO would be at their own level & baby would be at theirs. It can be stressful for a 1 YO or 2 YO to hear "the BABY" about a new sibling when they themselves are a baby.. and I can say it is hard on mama & daddy too because it's hard not to feel guilty that one baby has been promoted to BIG brother or sister when they are babies too. That said, it is nice when they are close in age once you get past the hard stuff & they are able to play together.

For me, my body needs time to rest in between pregnancies & I fully enjoy my babies being babies for as long as they can. Of course, baby could come preterm & then that would change the spacing to less than 3 years, but that would be a whole other set of issues. My mom had me & then nine years later, 4 babies back to back & it was CHAOS!! 7 people in a 3 bedroom CONDO!! I am grateful for our spacing & I have had to tell DH NOT YET when it came to TTC again!! lol

All of my kids are very close & all play together... even the teen & baby... the teen & younger sisters are BFFs... and there are several years between them. It all depends upon how you raise them. We raise our children to know what a gift each kiddo is, not only to our family as a whole but also to one another.

My DH & his DB are 6 years apart & they couldn't be more opposite. They were not raised to be close & are not. They love one another but have nothing in common. My siblings & I are all very close even though I am 9-15 years OLDER than them all & they are all a year to 18 mos apart. We were raised to be close & have stayed that way... we're all great friends!

I'd say if YOU are ready, go for it! There will ALWAYS be a reason to wait... something will ALWAYS come up to make you think you should wait. If you think you should wait a bit, then wait... because there's no going back after that BFP! lol
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Old 03-30-2016, 02:29 PM   #6
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Re: How did you know it was time?

ALL of my friends have toddlers and are pregnant with their second. My first child is 6 months old and I am getting baby fever so bad that I fleetingly considered buying formula just so I could get pregnant! Even my husband already wants another, and our baby is by no means a good sleeper nor been easy at all. We decided we aren't TTC or TTA so, I am not forcing him to wean but the urge is strong! Anyone else experience this ??
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Old 04-19-2016, 09:29 AM   #7
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Re: How did you know it was time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by antcant01 View Post
ALL of my friends have toddlers and are pregnant with their second. My first child is 6 months old and I am getting baby fever so bad that I fleetingly considered buying formula just so I could get pregnant! Even my husband already wants another, and our baby is by no means a good sleeper nor been easy at all. We decided we aren't TTC or TTA so, I am not forcing him to wean but the urge is strong! Anyone else experience this ??
You sound a bit like me hahaha, except I'm not too influenced by friends. I had a horribly sick pregnancy and took about 4 months to recover from deep third degree tears and a stressful but natural and still unenjoyable birth. Why do I want another? I'm still nursing all night, baby is only 6 months and I would not consider her to be easy or calm. I just miss her being a baby SO BAD 😢 I was with her 24/7 but I still feel like I missed out because the discomfort was so horrible I felt really limited and like I was always occupied with how to avoid unnecessary pain. Ugh. She had horrendous reflux and there were weeks that were so darn hard. Why do I want another so bad and so soon? I would really like to nurse until 2 if possible so I'm going to have to read the threads about waiting to TTC. I'm seriously considering foster care or adoption and I actually intended that to be the way we build our family but my husband has Some issues with that idea.
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