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Old 01-31-2017, 09:34 AM   #1
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Bio grandparent visitation

I'm looking for advice and experiences of adoptive parents and contact with bio grandparents. How often is customary? Supervised? Phone calls? Anything would be helpful.

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Old 01-31-2017, 12:12 PM   #2
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Re: Bio grandparent visitation

I'm interested to hear what others have to say about this. We are on our way to adoption and have discussed it quite a bit. On one side grandparents aren't interested at all so we won't maintain contact. The other side is interested, but has issues. The boys are young and not bonded to them. We aren't opposed to the boys knowing them but wouldn't want real regular contact because of the issues. As of right now we are thinking a couple times a year max, and never unsupervised. I would be fine with sending them pictures and updates but actual contact would be pretty limited unless circumstances change.
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:28 PM   #3
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Re: Bio grandparent visitation

We have contact with bio grandmother, but she does not speak to her daughter anymore (biomother). Bio grandparents on other side were contacted, declined to care for child and never called back since.
We send pictures and updates via email to bio grandmother a few times a year. She is safe and pleasant to engage with overall. We live far away (20 plus hour drive) but we have visited her a few times. The visits went well and we were always all together. Bond is minimal because of the distance that always existed, but honestly when it comes down to it she just wants to be the child's grandmother with no hidden agenda. If you can see that in someone then it is worth it to try.
I would recommend starting with e-mail contact, general updates and a few pictures. Safety is always on my mind, but honestly if she lived in the same state/area I would keep the contact the same.
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Old 01-31-2017, 07:11 PM   #4
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Re: Bio grandparent visitation

This will depend on the agreement that is made at the time of the adoption with the agency. If it is a "closed" v. "open" adoption." If you want to have visitation, be sure you form a good relationship with the foster/adoptive families and make your wishes clear. I commend you for your desire to be a part of your grandchild's life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I work with foster/adoptive families every day. So many children are left feeling unloved/unwanted. Praying for you my friend.
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Old 02-01-2017, 07:22 PM   #5
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Re: Bio grandparent visitation

This was not related to a child I adopted, but one I fostered. Grandparents were very involved. They were fantastic, and had unsupervised visits. We talked about what would happen if the child stayed with me. I would have wanted them to remain involved, and they would have remained just as much the child's grandparents as my parents would have been. Initially, CPS refused to place with them due to some physical circumstances, so it was an unusual situation (great interest, stable, no reason for concerns). Eventually, the child actually ended up being placed with (and eventually adopted by) them. I had another (pre-adoptive) placement whose grandparents were interested, but CPS declined to place with them due to some serious issues (their rights having been terminated to their daughter, my kiddos mother being the least of those issues). CPS was letting them visit, so they had a relationship with the child. Given what I knew of them, there is no way I would have continued any relationship once I had the chance to decide that. My son's extended birth family never had any knowledge of his existence, as far as I know, and I don't know who they are (I adopted him privately, so again, a different situation), so it hasn't come up for us, but in theory I would love for him to have that relationship.
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