Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-06-2016, 06:46 PM   #1
booty hunter's Avatar
booty hunter
Queen of Funny Auotcorrects
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: bubbaland
Posts: 13,891
My Mood:
Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

I am not a foster parent and have not adopted ,so I usually just read the threads. I would never want to come across as giving advice or being able to understand a situation I haven't been in. But I would love to hear foster parents opinions on this. Do you feel that the bio's are given every opportunity to get their children back? If they are willing to follow the plan ,are resources and help offered towards family reunification? I ask because I have heard over and over again about families being persecuted for their beliefs and having children removed with no real opportunity to get their children back because of workers and judges with agendas . Dh is in law enforcement and he doesn't agree with that but he also usually isn't involved with the process after the initial contact is made. So from the foster side of it do you feel that most parents can get their children back if they are willing to try?

Advertisement

__________________
CATHOLIC, Open to life,Pro-life from moment of conception to natural death ,mom of many blessings who LOVES to sew when I can find the time
Please excuse any typos ,my laptop keyboard has a mind of it's own
booty hunter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2016, 07:14 PM   #2
jen_batten's Avatar
jen_batten
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 11,951
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

The vast majority of the time I feel like they are not only given a fair chance, but given MANY chances. They are provided with lots of resources and help. In my district as long as they are making the slightest effort, they will be given opportunity, after opportunity, after opportunity. They give the parents so many chances that in many cases it seems like it is actually to the detriment to the children. It is not unusual here for cases to drag on for a few years, and I do not feel like that is healthy for anyone involved. So in my area, yes, I feel like parents are given far more than just a fair shake.

I will say there have been a few cases I have heard about that I felt like child protection services had it wrong, and sometimes they overstep, but none of those issues I am thinking of are local and I feel like they are few and far between.

I think it can vary pretty widely from district to district and I am interested to hear other foster parents weigh in.
jen_batten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2016, 07:25 PM   #3
booty hunter's Avatar
booty hunter
Queen of Funny Auotcorrects
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: bubbaland
Posts: 13,891
My Mood:
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jen_batten View Post
The vast majority of the time I feel like they are not only given a fair chance, but given MANY chances. They are provided with lots of resources and help. In my district as long as they are making the slightest effort, they will be given opportunity, after opportunity, after opportunity. They give the parents so many chances that in many cases it seems like it is actually to the detriment to the children. It is not unusual here for cases to drag on for a few years, and I do not feel like that is healthy for anyone involved. So in my area, yes, I feel like parents are given far more than just a fair shake.

I will say there have been a few cases I have heard about that I felt like child protection services had it wrong, and sometimes they overstep, but none of those issues I am thinking of are local and I feel like they are few and far between.

I think it can vary pretty widely from district to district and I am interested to hear other foster parents weigh in.
Your conversation with bio mom in the other thread is what got me thinking about it. I don't see the foster side of it but from the parent side of it ,I just can't imagine anything more terrifying than losing your kids.
__________________
CATHOLIC, Open to life,Pro-life from moment of conception to natural death ,mom of many blessings who LOVES to sew when I can find the time
Please excuse any typos ,my laptop keyboard has a mind of it's own
booty hunter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2016, 07:41 PM   #4
jen_batten's Avatar
jen_batten
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 11,951
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

Quote:
Originally Posted by booty hunter View Post
Your conversation with bio mom in the other thread is what got me thinking about it. I don't see the foster side of it but from the parent side of it ,I just can't imagine anything more terrifying than losing your kids.
There is a lot there that I can't post. She has been given lots of opportunity. She could even have more opportunity if she wanted, but I think she has given up. She does love her kids, and it is sad for her, but she also has lots of issues and doesn't have her priorities straight. That is what has been hard for me to emotionally sort out. I can relate to her as a mother, and my heart breaks for her. But on the other hand I also know that things could be different for her. It's just sticky. I wish I could say more, because I would love to have a chance to sort through my thoughts with someone.
jen_batten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2016, 08:35 PM   #5
booty hunter's Avatar
booty hunter
Queen of Funny Auotcorrects
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: bubbaland
Posts: 13,891
My Mood:
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jen_batten View Post
There is a lot there that I can't post. She has been given lots of opportunity. She could even have more opportunity if she wanted, but I think she has given up. She does love her kids, and it is sad for her, but she also has lots of issues and doesn't have her priorities straight. That is what has been hard for me to emotionally sort out. I can relate to her as a mother, and my heart breaks for her. But on the other hand I also know that things could be different for her. It's just sticky. I wish I could say more, because I would love to have a chance to sort through my thoughts with someone.
That must be so hard for you! We have known a few foster families and the lack of support is really unfair. I understand the need for privacy but not being able to talk about your feelings especially when you are dealing with such emotional issues would make it hard to find peace about any of this. As Catholics we can go to confession and the priest will not tell anything that is said even in a court of law. Do you have a pastor you could go and talk to?
__________________
CATHOLIC, Open to life,Pro-life from moment of conception to natural death ,mom of many blessings who LOVES to sew when I can find the time
Please excuse any typos ,my laptop keyboard has a mind of it's own
booty hunter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-07-2016, 10:33 AM   #6
jen_batten's Avatar
jen_batten
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 11,951
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

We have a pastor, yes, but I wouldn't choose him to talk to about it because I am not sure he would be able to relate very well. I think I could go to a counselor and talk there, but I don't really feel the need for a counselor, just a trusted friend that I could tell-all to. It wouldn't be an issue except I am not allowed to tell-all. I too understand the need for privacy and totally get why you can't just broadcast some of the issues to whoever, but I feel like there should be someone you can talk to.
jen_batten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2016, 11:18 PM   #7
FosteringInfants
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 425
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

Yes, here parents transportation to visits is paid for. They still only visited my adopted child 25% or less of the time.

They got the parents into a rehab (very hard!) and my then foster child would have moved in with them. One refused to go and the other didnt last the weekend.

It's very sad once you're in a lifestyle that you grew up in. I feel it. My mom ate out/take out too often. I follow that pattern despite the desire to change.
FosteringInfants is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2016, 08:39 PM   #8
booty hunter's Avatar
booty hunter
Queen of Funny Auotcorrects
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: bubbaland
Posts: 13,891
My Mood:
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

Thanks for the replies ,this is good to hear. I realize not every state and county work the same way but I am glad the parents are given opportunities.
__________________
CATHOLIC, Open to life,Pro-life from moment of conception to natural death ,mom of many blessings who LOVES to sew when I can find the time
Please excuse any typos ,my laptop keyboard has a mind of it's own
booty hunter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2016, 07:55 PM   #9
joyfulgirl_3
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 351
My Mood:
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

In my district, they will provide services for the year or two...everything and anything...either to reunify or to build the case for termination. If they go to court to terminate parental rights, they want to show they have done everything to try and have a successful reunification.

Seems like they give the parents too many chances b/c kids cycle in and out of care.
joyfulgirl_3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2016, 01:40 PM   #10
mamateacher's Avatar
mamateacher
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 41
Re: Do you feel that biological parents are given a fair chance?

I am going on three years with a child that I brought home as a newborn from the hospital. We have yet to have a goal change to terminate on a case that I was told from the very beginning would likely be adoptive. Courts say they work in the best interest of the children, but mostly what I've seen is that they will do anything to help the parents, no matter how unfit they may be. They have to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that the parent cannot or will not parent - which in my experience is giving many opportunities to better themselves or rectify the situation.
mamateacher is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC. All Rights Reserved.