Spinoff---what do you worry/not worry about with your kids?

[iris0110]

I am a natural worrier, probably because I have an anxiety problem. I try to be relaxed though. It doesn't help that my oldest has high functioning ASD and my youngest does not have a diagnosis but has no impulse control and something is definitely going on (ADHD or ODD, maybe both). I am not concerned about the boys playing alone in our fenced backyard. I can see them from the house and usually I can hear them too. Sometimes I play out there with them but it is because I like to play with them not because I don't trust them alone. I cannot allow them to play out front alone, right now that just isn't an option because I just don't know Kearnan wouldn't wander away or follow someone and it is hard to tell what Tharen would do. If I tell him not to walk into the street he is likely to do it just because I told him not to. At the park I pretty much just let them play. I keep my eyes open when Kearnan is interacting with other children because he is a target for bullies but honestly his brother has his back so I don't worry too much. I am very careful with them when we are out in public because they can both tend to get distracted easily and wander away. I guess that is my worry, that one of them will get lost and not know what to do. I have tried teaching them but I'm not sure that either knows for certain. Kearnan has a medic alert bracelet but Tharen does not.

[MyKylie]

I really liked that article about overly safe playgrounds. I totally agree. If a child never has a chance to test the physical limits of something they never learn anything, except that someone else is responsible for making me safe.

[BNC]

My kids are free range kids.

I completely agree that alot of parents dont know what they children are capable of at early ages and do things for them that they could probably do on their own (or with a bit of coaxing).

For example, Laney is 15 months old. My BFF has a son who is 3 weeks (exactly to the minute, lol!) younger than she is. When laney is done eating, I hand her a wet rag and she "wipes" her tray down. Does she miss stuff? Yeah...but she is learning! My Bff thought I was crazy when I handed her son a wipe...she was like "he will have NO idea what to do with that! Hes not old enough to understand!...blah blah blah... well he grabbed the wipe and tried to wash his tray without any coaxing.

Kids learn from watching and repeating. If you never allow them to repeat and fail (then correct them and teach them), you will delay their development. Sure they will learn to do those things eventually, but they are capable of learning how to do them much earlier than people believe.

[alyssa&rylan's-mommy]

I'm very much the same way- I don't have much baby-proofing done in our house, just plugs in the power outlets, and my 3 and 4year olds play in our backyard alone all the time (it's not fenced in, but we're rural). They climb and run, and have fun! I like to let my kids be kids while they can still be kids, kwim?

[z2akids]

Honestly, I think that all parents have worries. Some are reasonable and some can border on obsessive. I think that ultimately it has more to do with how we handle our worries - whether we let them affect our lives or not.

[steph410]

Originally Posted by z2akids Honestly, I think that all parents have worries. Some are reasonable and some can border on obsessive. I think that ultimately it has more to do with how we handle our worries - whether we let them affect our lives or not.

I agree!

But I also wanted to add that I am extremely worried about dogs- I feel you can never trust a dog and I don't really ever feel comfortable with my kids around a dog unless it's a tiny little one. I used to really LOVE dogs until I had kids...not that I hate them, but I am afraid and don't think some people are cautious enough with kids and dogs in close proximity.

[dancermommy1]

I agree z2akids. I'm actually a high-anxiety person, overall, and have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, but I guess I'm more worried (haha) about stunting my child than I am about him hurting himself. At the park he climbs up to the highest slides and slides down--but I do admit because of his size, and because he is pretty passive and will let the other kids mow him over, I generally stick close to him. Also because we let him play on the large equipment and climb on it I want to be close enough to catch him if he does mis-judge and fall--an 8 foot fall is pretty dangerous for a 2-foot tall person.

I would say DH hovers, while I am more likely to allow him to make his own mistakes. Like others have mentioned, I do let him help around the house, too, even though it's far from perfect (e.g., wiping his tray, washing his hands on his own, wiping spills up from the floor, sweeping (not very efficient, hahaha), loading and unloading the dishwasher, etc).

[jen_batten]

I'm not much of a worryier, I guess. Probably one of my biggest worries is the development of my special needs DD.

We don't babyproof, and never have. I do teach the kids not to stick things in the outlets. To be honest, I don't really understand babyproofing. If you babyproof your house, what do you do when you go somewhere else? Freak out? If you house proof your children (teach them what to do/not to do) then you're all set, whether at home or away. Please don't misunderstand me to being saying that accidents don't happen, or that my way is fool proof. Sometimes bad things do happen, but that's true whether you babyproof or not.

My kids are 6, 4, and 2 and are allowed to play in the yard by themselves usually by about 18 months. It does depend somewhat on the child and how responsible they are. They were all in bunk beds by 19 months at the latest, and allowed on the top as soon as they were able to climb up and down unassisted. Germs don't bother me. Actually I think they're good for developing immune systems. We don't wash our hands all the time, and I never carry hand sanitizer. I'm not one to worry about car seats much...don't freak out on me--we do use car seats, but only to the minimum (we don't ERF or anything). We go hiking and biking with the little ones, which I found out freaks out some people on here. My personal perspective is that everything comes with risk. EVERYTHING. You could fall down with your baby in your arms and crack his head open. But it's not likely. And you absolutely cannot be prepared for every situation. I feel like it doesn't do anyone any good to sit around and worry about the what-ifs? I would make a very poor helicopter. lol.

They all have chores such as washing dishes and sweeping, cleaning up their own messes, and others. I try to teach them responsiblity and self care from a young age. I try to impart good morals and a love for Christ in them. One of my bigger worries would be that others (or TV, or whatever) would have a very negative influence on my children. We homeschool, and I think all homeschoolers wonder whether they are doing a good job to some degree.

[jen_batten]

And here's another one that will probably worry everyone else...My 6 YO has his own pocket knife, and both my 6 and 4 year olds have their own BB guns. They are now allowed to use them on their own, but only once we supervised them enough and taught them enough to know not to EVER aim at anyone, the house car, ect. They are very careful and resposible with them, and the moment they are not they will be taken away. To me a bigger worry would be a gun in the house with a child who did NOT know gun safety. We live in the middle of no where, and everyone around here has guns. (hunting is very big) If you don't teach your children gun safety at an early age, you would run into problems.

And another worry--that people will feed my children the wrong food. That happens a lot, actually. The girls are on GF diets, and are sick for almost a week if someone feeds them gluten. It's not a life-threatening allergy or anything so I don't worry in the sense, but more of a smaller worry/dread that the girls will have the trots for several days.

[jen_batten]

Stinky dp. Sorry.