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Old 03-01-2012, 10:40 AM   #11
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Re: Foster care, adoption, and baby showers

I think it would be nice to have a shower sooner then finalization. We have three children that were adopted through foster care and I've never had a baby shower. Our oldest was almost 4 when he was placed with us so a little old for a shower Our second was 6 months but we really didn't think she would be staying forever so no shower and our youngest was 2 days old when he was placed and we know right away that he would be staying. I would have Loved to have a shower for him but because he was our foster son no one really wanted to throw one until after finalization. We should be finalized in early April and he is one and we will have a adoption party but its not a shower. I feel like that is one of the only things I really missed out on. I would ask her what she would like because even if the baby doesn't stay forever she still has lots of baby stuff she needs to buy and if she continues to foster she can still use all of that stuff with another placement. She might really want one.


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Old 03-01-2012, 07:08 PM   #12
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Re: Foster care, adoption, and baby showers

Originally Posted by chickeedoodle View Post
My girlfriend threw me a "sprinkle" - she said that's what they are called when you have a shower after a baby is born- I have no idea if she made that up or what...but we did it after the term papers were signed, but before finalization. (We did private adoption) it was super sweet and thougtful.
i've heard of this for second, third, etc babies. i was told it was basically just a celebration with a few little gifts.
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
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Old 03-02-2012, 09:26 AM   #13
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Re: Foster care, adoption, and baby showers

We had Welcome parties for the two littles ones that we adopted, shortly after they came home.
The adoptions weren't final, however birth parents rights were terminated (PGO where we are) so they were ours.
We presently have a foster to adopt placement, we have not yet had his party, I'm waiting (impatiently) for PGO, and then we will arrange his Welcome.
It's a really nice way to introduce them to the whole family, even thR great aunties and uncles they may not see often, ykwim?
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Old 03-02-2012, 10:53 AM   #14
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Re: Foster care, adoption, and baby showers

I was thrown a shower for our first which was a private adoption and it was before DD was born. Yes, there was legal risk, but our friends really rallied and it was a huge bash. For us, that was the best time. DD ended up having a LOT of medical needs and she spent 4 weeks in a NICU in her home state. Then because of those needs and our agencies inexperience, it was almost 5 years before we finalized.

Friends threw me a shower for ODS for boy things. He was a surrender, so there was low legal risk. Then for FDD some threw me a party, I had asked for no gifts, but just about everyone brought me clothes. She is fairly low legal risk for foster as bp have had 5 other children that TPR and they have not request to see her once she was born. While we get a board payment, in IL it is fairly small compared to other places. You can get a one time extra clothing allowance, but that is only in the first 6 months in care and she was just past that when we got her. The clothes that came with her did not fit any longer. So the clothes we welcome. SW did bring clothes after I said she didn't come with clothes that fit, but she waited until the next month to bring them and by then I had clothes for her.

So have a party, whether the child is staying permanently or not it is good to show your support. As pp said, ask her what she wants.
Brittany, wife to Rawlo , mom to dd T (10/01), ds M (6/07) & ds O (3/09)
cloth diapering, baby wearing, part-time homeschooling, LDS SAHM who volunteers
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Old 03-02-2012, 01:21 PM   #15
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Re: Foster care, adoption, and baby showers

We had an adoption party that turned out to be like a shower as everyone brought the baby a gift. How sweet if you threw you cousin a shower!!!!! I would do it after finalization or incorporate it with an adoption party. Either way it is an awesome idea!!
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