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Old 02-27-2013, 01:48 PM   #1
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Using Hubby As Your Doula?

Who here is only using your hubby as your support person? I have 2 kids with my first husband and he was not supportive. With my son I got an epidural around 4 CM but with my daughter I made it 21 hours with nothing and on pitocin. He spent the whole time on the phone or playing video games or SLEEPING!! I spent the whole time griping the bed rail screaming. I did end up having to get an epidural (my OB said I needed it to dilate the last little bit)

This time I'm engaged to a WONDERFUL supportive man who wants to do everything possible to help me. He has one child but she was born c section so he wasn't involved there. This time around I have a midwife too, not sure how they differ from a dr during labor though.

I'm determined to go completely natural like I had hoped with my 2nd. I'm not sure what I can tell him to help me through it though


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Old 02-27-2013, 03:19 PM   #2
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I had an epidural free delivery with DS #1 & just had hubby & the nurse as support. DH didn't know quite know how to support me because it was out first baby but was quick to try anything the nurse or I suggested. He also knows my personality & did things to help manage that
At one point We were almost playing tug of war with a towel and he was between my legs helping me round my back while I pushed (sounds weird but it worked because I was tired & using his strength). Poor guy didn't eat or pee for over 18 hours but I was so happy to have the amazing bonding experience with him!!! We plan to
Do the same with DS #2
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:58 PM   #3
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I am! Last time around we were both so tired that he just didn't know what to do. This time I have a better understanding of how things are going to go and what I'll need from him. We're just now starting to talk about things to say, different positions and what we're willing to do in labour. I'm hoping to go natural this time around. *fingers crossed*
Jenna - wife to Harrison since 2007, and proud mama to miss Matilda Quinn(Sept-06-11) and mr Felix Byron (May-25-13)
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:11 PM   #4
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Re: Using Hubby As Your Doula?

My dh is my support system. I won't need to use anyone else. He is pretty interested in it all (my pregnancy and the birth) and involved. Plus, hes an emt and wants to assist my midwife for experience so if he ever runs into an emergency he will be prepared.
Proud Mama to: My big guys C (9/2002) and N (10/2003), and my princess (3/2006).
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:16 PM   #5
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Re: Using Hubby As Your Doula?

My husband will be mine, he was incredible with my last labor that did have a doula, I honestly feel he worked just as hard as I did. I'm hoping he has the same confidence without the doula by his side, but yeah, he's pretty awesome.

Edi- haha oops I'm due date crashing!! So sorry!
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Old 02-27-2013, 09:36 PM   #6
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Re: Using Hubby As Your Doula?

I do. It's really about your relationship and his comfort level. If he isn't firm enough to say no when it needs to be said, he might not be enough... My husband was great, partially because he was behind my plans 100% and partially because he knew there'd be heck to pay if he caved too easily.
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Old 03-03-2013, 04:45 AM   #7
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Re: Using Hubby As Your Doula?

First time for me, I'm dragging DH to hypnobirthing and low intervention classes. I have no idea what to expect from myself so I hardly know what to expect from him. He has been great though; taking time off of work not to miss the classes.
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Old 03-12-2013, 07:23 PM   #8
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Re: Using Hubby As Your Doula?

My fiance will be my support, and I feel like that's the best thing for us. We're both so private that I think it would take too long to warm up to a doula to trust them. It would feel like having an intruder up in our business - not that the doctor and/or midwife and nurses won't feel like that, but we didn't want one more.

We're listening to Hypnobabies CDs every night together to prepare, and we're going to search for some Hypnobabies birth stories to read online together.

I really have no idea what to expect from labor because #1 was a c/s due to breech!
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:59 PM   #9
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Re: Using Hubby As Your Doula?

my husband was awesome during my homebirth. he is the squeamish kind who will puke when our kids puke and cant deal with any body fluids at all (he used to dry heave changing EBF infants, ya'll!), but during labor something just changed in him. my midwives said that men get hormones in response to their laboring partner, and i definitely think that had to have happened in our case.

at one point in my labor i was pissing all over the floor and his feet and he just laughed about it. (LOL- too much info perhaps but its real---i got a rush of endorphins around transition and a crazy case of the giggles- we had locked ourselves in our bathroom to OMMMM together through my pain and i slapped his stomach so hard during a contraction that i left a perfect red outline of a handprint on him and we were just stunned for a moment at the sight of it- it was such a perfect hand it looked like a hamsa-so i told him i just blessed him, then i started cracking up so hard, contracted again, and then literally pissed everywhere). at another point i was sitting on the birthing stool when my bag of waters swelled out of my vagina like a balloon and he was just mesmerized by it until it popped and gushed water out all over him and the apprentice midwife- again, he took it totally in stride. in the birthing tub i have no clue what was going on, but i did see him fish out a floater which i think is the ultimate sick sick stuff of love, and means we will live happily ever after, amen. hehe. but seriously, i clawed at his back, i hung from his shoulders and swayed, i bit him (and slapped him!) and just generally treated him like an object to help me cope- the next day we both felt bruised and tired, he really did work with me and for me and never once complained. he was completely dutiful and amazing and labor/birth brings a couple really close.
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Old 03-13-2013, 07:07 PM   #10
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Re: Using Hubby As Your Doula?

My husband is going to be my 'doula'
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