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Old 03-07-2007, 03:28 PM   #21
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I know I would have, but I have always hoped to have a large family. I come from a family of 8 children, and LOVED growing up with siblings!
In my own experience, for what it's worth, I thought going from no kids to 1 child was harder than having the second. By the time #2 came along, a lot of the big life changes were done -- I quit my job, I was staying home full time, your life is already so unimaginably changed by having one... does that make any sense? I just felt like the second one was easier to adjust to.
Now I'm expecting our third... so we'll see how THAT goes!


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Old 03-07-2007, 05:05 PM   #22
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?


I say the only child= problem child is b.s. I am an only child, and I was never a "problem".

I loved being an only child. I loved getting to hang out with my parents so much. Even when I was a teenager, I liked to hang out with my parents on the weekends, and they were way more interesting and fun than my friends. I am very close to both of them, and I feel like by being an only child I got to know and respect them not only as my parents, but as the unique individuals they are. I know that would have been possible had I had siblings, but I somehow feel that something would have been lost along the way.

I was never very child-like, and I do contribute that to my being an only child. I have always had a hard time relating to my peer group (I'm only 20 now, so I still have this problem) and I prefer the company and conversation of older people. A lot of people would say that I was "cheated" or missed out on something because I was never really a kid, but I am really happy with the way I turned out and I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

All that said, Henry will definately be an only child. I want to raise him the same way I was raised. I want to be able to focus all of my love and energy on him. I personally don't feel equipted to parent more than one child. I have always said that. I have never pictured my family with more than one, and as much as I loved being pregnant and giving birth, I doubt I will ever choose to bring another child into this world.

So, for me, I just know that my family is complete. In my opinion, if you can't say that with conviction, then don't do anything permanent and just wait, because answers to questions such as this usually just come to us when we least expect it.
Mama to Henry (01.07), Catherine (09.11), Audrey (04.14), Clare (09.15) and our newest addition, coming July 2017!
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Old 03-07-2007, 05:08 PM   #23
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I'm an only. My Mom says she regrets it. She wanted another but my Dad didn't. She says she wishes that she fought harder. However, I think if I didn't marry a military guy and move 3K miles away, she wouldn't be saying anything LOL. IMO, I can't say that I regret not having siblings, for example. I mean, I often wonder what it would be like to have a sister to confide in, or a big bro to punch me in the arm LOL, but I can't say the feeling is *regret*. Curosity, maybe.. fantasy maybe, but nto regret. I am who I am b/c I'm a sum of my experiences. I like me. I'd be a different me if I grew up w/ siblings. If you don't have another, you'll love your family, no matter what. If you have more, you'll love your family no matter what.
Kelly, coffee addicted internet junkie married to my navy man Scott, and mama to Ethan 12.25.05 and Lucas 6.10.08
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Old 03-07-2007, 05:10 PM   #24
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

Good to read all these great posts! We are trying to decide if we should try again for baby #2. After my mc, I'm just not sure how I feel. DD begs for a sibling all the time though.
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Old 03-07-2007, 05:44 PM   #25
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

How would you say it was easier?

My boys are 2 years apart. DS #1 needed my attn constantly, which was wonderful but very draining- until his brother was born. At that time, DS got closer to DH than he had been before. He was overall happier even before DS#2 could actually move and play. It was so cool, he always hated being in the car until his brother was back there with him. Now he is very content in the car.
When DS#2 was 6 months old I remember being in the middle of a phone call and DS#1 walked up and asked me to play, I told him, "Not right now. Why don't you go play in your room with Baby Lance?"
He said, "Okay, Mommy." "Come on, Baby Lance." And the baby followed him into their room (crawling) and they played together for an hour. (I stood quietly by the door most of that time, but didn't have to intervene).
Since then, they play together all the time. DS#1 teaches DS#2 so many things and it is wonderful how they care about eachother and share and protect eachother. The sibling relationship is so important and I am glad my boys are so close in age.
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Old 03-07-2007, 06:00 PM   #26
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

Im an only child.
I would NEVER have an only child myself because I think a great deal of my personal struggles in life are because I was an only child. Having siblings you learn how to handle so many obstacles in the home before you go out to big scary world and start dealing with other non-related people. Well, if your an only child you do not get those experiances. Am I making sense? Like you learn how to work out disagreements, you learn that not everyone thinks like you, you learn you can have a fight and still love each other the next day.
Lets just say, I had (and somewhat still have) more social obstacles then someone with siblings would have;-)
Im not good at sharing or being patient, being an only I never had to wait for anything...EVER. Nobody was ever around to disagree with me, lol. What a shock marriage was for me!
I think the hardest obstacle came after my 2nd child was born. My Dad died just 3 weeks later. Now its just my Mom and I. Thats HARD. I have no one to share my own kids with. My Mom has no one to share her life with except me. Thats not going well because Im busy with my THREE kids, lol. Its hard.
Anyway, I dont think that you should go get pregnant tonight if your hearts not in it, not all only children feel like I do; but I feel very strongly that having at least 2 children was the right choice for me being an only child myself.
Nikki, Mom to Clay (10), Annika (8) and Eden (3)

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Old 03-07-2007, 06:25 PM   #27
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

You definitely have to answer whether or not you'd regret it yourself but personally, I would have regretted it. I love watching my 3 playing together and loving each other. I love seeing my oldest DS make up silly games for the younger two to play in the car. I love seeing my younger two finally able to play together without fighting sometimes. I love how my 3 year old gets so excited for his brother to get home from school. I know that I would have been missing out if we had only had our oldest DS.

For me, the arrival of our 2nd DS was very natural. I felt as if he'd always been a part of our family and things went very smooth with the transition. Going from 2-3 was much harder for me and I think part of that was the 25 month age difference. I've learned that for me and the rest of my family, having my kids a little further apart works better-like 3-3.5 years I'd say. My DD is such a delight and it definitely helped that she is who she is in the harder moments.

I don't think I'd ever regret having one more but I could easily regret *not* having another child.

Good luck with your decision
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Old 03-07-2007, 11:50 PM   #28
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

Listen to your heart!! Everyone is different... DH and I went from 0 to 2 in about 9 months--we adopted a toddler and got pregnant right after that. Now that was hard... Our oldest has had a lot of special needs and issues, and our second spent the first 4 months of his life glued to my breast... it was hard but so so so worth it!!! They are so close now, and love each other so much!! It melts my heart.

It was a lot easier going from 2-3 and 3-4 than from 0-2 for us. My DH is an only child and he loves having a big family!!
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Old 03-07-2007, 11:58 PM   #29
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I think your DD is to young to REALLY be sure. Dont make any perm. decisions for a WHILE. Sometimes babyfever sets in and there is NOTHING you can do to resist it....thats how I ended up with 3
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