Question for the Non-Santa Crew

[mibarra]

I think it's less about credit and more about deception for a lot of people. Technically speaking Santa is kind of a lie. . I also think some people reject it on religious or anti-commercialism grounds.

We plan on doing Santa (oldest is 3 so haven't bothered yet) but as more of a "nudge nudge wink wink isn't this game fun" kind of way. That's how my parents handled it, and it made it fun and magical and exciting without the big letdown of learning it was all pretend

[ajane]

Good question, OP! I always seem by it.

Originally Posted by HeatherlovesCDs This is not why we don't do Santa. However, I think from the perspective of wanting "credit" for the presents, it would be because you want your children to understand that you work for the things they get. They don't come from some outside source and they aren't free. Dad and/or mom have to actually work to make money to buy these things. It's about understanding and appreciating the value of where they actually do come from....hard work and sacrifice. As I said, this isn't why we don't do Santa, but that is what I would think.

But, you can teach them that the other 364 days a year. Believe me, my kids know very well that things aren't free and that dh works very hard for us to have what we have. Why is it that kids can't be kids and live in the magic of things for 1 day. I'm sorry, it just seems selfish to me.

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

we dont celebrate xmas anyway but we did the first 2 years after ds1 was born. x was very passionate about not doing santa or any other mythical gift giving character. he felt very deceived when he found out he had been lied to all those years about santa. he did not want to do that to his kids as well. and i personally dont like the way most parents use santa as a way to get good behavior from their children. ive heard so many say "you need to be good if you want santa to bring you something this year" the whole santa thing never appealed to me. as a child i was very skeptical and knew that something was going on around age 5.

[ajane]

Originally Posted by Done at 3 My mom and I had this conversation last year. We were talking about the gifts the boys were getting and I mentioned that their big gifts were from Santa. She argued that we should get the credit for them. I thought this was an odd way of looking at it. Their most desired gifts are always from Santa because "he knows what they really want most" and that's part of what always made it so special for me as a kid. It never even occurred to me to be concerned with who got the credit for the gift. One day they will know the truth and that everything was from DH and I anyway. I don't give gifts to get credit for them, I give them because I genuinely love seeing people enjoy things I've gotten for them. I put tons of thought into choosing really personalized gifts and their happiness is enough for me.

This is me, exactly.

Originally Posted by songbird516 We don't celebrate holidays but when a present comes from a person, we make it clear who it came from and they always get a thank-you, and maybe even a card. Why would I teach my children to give credit to someone who doesn't exist? At worst it's a lie, and at best it's inconsiderate. Someone worked for the gift or the money to pay for it. I want my child to know who it really came from and be thankful.

My kids always send thank you cards for b-day gifts. Believe me, they are very appreciate of the Christmas gifts, BUT they are children and they grow up so fast. At age 5, they don't need to think they are being inconsiderate b/c they don't thank the exact person it came from. I can tell they are thankful and appreciative when I see the joy on their face while they open their gifts. They know very well that someone worked for the gift and they know that dh works very hard for everything they get.

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes we dont celebrate xmas anyway but we did the first 2 years after ds1 was born. x was very passionate about not doing santa or any other mythical gift giving character. he felt very deceived when he found out he had been lied to all those years about santa. he did not want to do that to his kids as well. and i personally dont like the way most parents use santa as a way to get good behavior from their children. ive heard so many say "you need to be good if you want santa to bring you something this year" the whole santa thing never appealed to me. as a child i was very skeptical and knew that something was going on around age 5.

Me either. We would never do that to the kids and I cringe when I hear it.

[ajane]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange This. I don't do Santa because he's not 'the reason for the season'. And because I don't do character things. But as for credit, I guess I would agree with the quoted.

He is apart of the season though. And, just b/c it is to celebrate Jesus' birth doesn't mean you have to focus on only one part of the season.

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by ajane He is apart of the season though. And, just b/c it is to celebrate Jesus' birth doesn't mean you have to focus on only one part of the season.

I'm not opposed to the stories of St Nicholas. Throw out some stockings, fill with fruit, nuts and trinkets. But I have never liked Santa. Even as a kid.

I'm also not opposed to teaching about Hanukkah even though we don't celebrate it.

But the idea that Santa exists to bring presents to kids? Nope. Not that version of commercialism.

I can't explain why I don't like Santa. I just don't. My parents never did it, I vaguely remember episodes with Santa for other kids, but never remember believing or wanting to.

But anyways, don't want to derail this thread which is not a debate about Santa or not, but about credit for gifts being a reason that other people have given for their anti-Santa stance.

[LaurenAppenzeller]

I have a 2 and a half and a 3 month so it hasn't been much of an issue yet but we get a tree and have a stocking and have some presents not too overboard and I haven't told him anything if he hears about Santa from someone else ok but I don't tell him that story they just magically appear Christmas morning and he hasn't asked yet. When he does I don't think I will take credit I may just tell him that they just appear I don't really have a plan yet. I feel kinda the same way I just really don't like the whole Santa thing but still wanted them to have Christmas for some reason. We also aren't religious so it isn't about Jesus either to us.

[LaurenAppenzeller]

Its interesting to read about so many other people on here who don't do Santa either. Do you guys still do anything else at Christmas? Also its really funny where the whole myth of Santa really came from. I don't want to offend anyone by saying this but I read an article that said we took Santa from a combination of St Nicholas and bringing children toys blah blah but have you ever wondered about the tree and raindeer etc.? The laplander people would celebrate the solstice and go out dressed in fur with black boots and their raindeer and bring back bags of the red and white mushrooms as a sacrament or gift and climbe down the smoke holes or" chimneys" in their yurts. The mushrooms only grow under pine trees and they found them being guided by the north star thus the star on top of the pine tree. The mushrooms were eaten by the deer also and gave the feeling of flying so flying raindeer. And also made the men laugh ho ho ho and have flushed face so rosy cheeked red and white fur wearing Santa with flying raindeer and a sack of presents under the tree
Weird huh? Sorry had to share funny to me that people have no idea the origins of psychedelic santa

[mabelinoad]

We don't do Santa, and we don't do "Christmas". We celebrate Christ's birth, who is our gift, by giving gifts to others. My mom wrapped our presents and signed "From Santa" as a kid. But she also signed "From Cookie"(our dog lol) so I don't hate santa, and it didn't bother me as kid...we're just trying to keep the focus, when its so hard to be a kid and not get wrapped up in "me, me, me!"

[Geckmumto3]

Thanks everyone, again, for your thoughts. I started multiquoting, and could quote everyone.

Originally Posted by ajane Good question, OP! I always seem by it. But, you can teach them that the other 364 days a year. Believe me, my kids know very well that things aren't free and that dh works very hard for us to have what we have. Why is it that kids can't be kids and live in the magic of things for 1 day. I'm sorry, it just seems selfish to me.

This is kind of how we feel, too, which is why I wondered. Don't we all love that feeling of special-ness, that someone might give us something frivolous, expecting nothing in return? As much as I want my kids to be grateful and appreciate what they have, I also want them to feel that moment of special.

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes we dont celebrate xmas anyway but we did the first 2 years after ds1 was born. x was very passionate about not doing santa or any other mythical gift giving character. he felt very deceived when he found out he had been lied to all those years about santa. he did not want to do that to his kids as well. and i personally dont like the way most parents use santa as a way to get good behavior from their children. ive heard so many say "you need to be good if you want santa to bring you something this year" the whole santa thing never appealed to me. as a child i was very skeptical and knew that something was going on around age 5.

I also dislike this. We don't do this, but we know people who do. The story of your x is why my BIL doesn't do Santa. He felt deceived by his parents as well.

Originally Posted by mibarra I think it's less about credit and more about deception for a lot of people. Technically speaking Santa is kind of a lie. . I also think some people reject it on religious or anti-commercialism grounds.

I agree, many people don't do Santa because of the implied deception (see above) or for religious reasons. But, I have noticed some people specifically saying they want the credit. Thus the thread.

Originally Posted by jen_batten Both of these. (although we do celebrate holidays) I have several reasons why we don't celebrate Santa and this is just a tiny one. But I do want the kids to know that those items have value and that someone who loves you worked very hard so that you could have it. Not that some fake-person delivered this to you because that's what he does. And you won't get any flames from me, OP. An honest question isn't a bad thing and shouldn't draw flames! (But of course on DS, it might!)

Thanks! I know DS has its drama, but it is one of the better boards I have found for actually having reasonable discussions (sometimes ).