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Old 09-23-2009, 07:29 AM   #1
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10 mos old and Sleep

Okay mamas! I need help!!! It's long...but please help

It is 5:30 AM and my 10 mos old DD is sitting down playing with her toys and watching baby einstein after 2 hours of struggling to get her to sleep (nursing, rocking, even a little CIO - I was desperate - it was 10 minutes). This is our regular morning routine but it shouldn't start until 7 AM!!!

She was sleeping through the night at 3 months about 8 hours a night, and then gradually this pattern became less and less frequent. She would sleep through the night most nights, other nights I would nurse her. Then she would go back to consistently STTN and then start waking up and wanting to be nursed and then go back to consistently STTN.

Any of this is what could be causing it - I need your input mama. What do you think it is?

She's going through seperation anxiety and it's been like this (the seperation anxiety) for well over a month now ever since her daddy returned to work. I've tried to encourage a lovery but haven't been consistent in having it with us every time I rock or nurse her She cries if I leave the room, she doesn't want to play with me because she's a really independant player and always has been (I try to play with her, she just crawls away or takes the toy I'm showing her and crawls away) but she wants me in the same room. If I have a book or something, she crawls up takes it away and goes back to what she was doing. So I'm left just sitting their watching her for hours on end per day and it's really starting to wear on me.

I was supposed to be going to bartending school in early sept (it got bumped back to october now) so starting a week before school (sept 1st), DH would bath her and take care of her until 7:30 (while I hid in the bedroom) where I would usually have my break in classes and he was planning on bringing her down to the shcool so I could nurse her because she doesn't take a bottle and doesn't take a sippy well. To pacify her until the time that he would bring her to me, he would encourage her to take little sips from the sippy. After this he would rock her to sleep and have her to sleep by 8:30. We had agreed that to get her used to my upcoming work shedule, he would rock her back to sleep until 3 AM and after 3 AM, if she woke up, she was my responsibility. I would usually rock her if she woke up, because I was weaning her of night feedings in preperation for me not being home. (According to any research I've read, babies do not need to eat at night at this age. ) It got to the point that rocking her to sleep at night took DH 30 minutes of her screaming off and on and rocking her in the middle of the night usually by me at 3-4 AM took another hour of her screaming off and on.

Early this month, she dropped down from 3 naps a day to 2 naps a day (morning and afternoon). On the odd day, she'll only take 1 nap. I'll try to put her down at 10 AM but she just wiggles around and plays and stays up until noonish and then wants to go for a nap and sleeps for 2 hours. In the past week, she has more consistently been pushing for one nap although I encourage her to stay at 2. Could she really be ready for only 1 nap a day

Also last month, I decided to nurse her a little less often throughout the day (I was confort nursing her a lot up to 14 times in a 24 hour period). What to expect the first year said that nursing more than 6 times a day at this age could be wetting their appetite for solid foods. This concerned me because she was an 8 lbs 9 oz nb and now at 10 mos, she is only 17 lbs. She has been consistently putting on weight but slowly. Are they not supposed to triple their weight in the first year? I was worried that she may not be putting on as much weight because she wasn't having enough solids. Now she has more solids and has 6 good feedings (20 minutes - 10 minutes both side) a day as opposed to grazing 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there.

Her top teeth are coming in but she's always been a trooper with teething. Never heard a peep from her when her bottom two came in - didn't even know until they were in. So I don't know (or think) that this is teething. Maybe it's bothering her a little,but she doesn't seem to be in pain...

We are TTC again and I don't know that I am pregnant - I doubt it - we've only been trying for 3 weeks, but if I am, could that effect my milk already? This past week DD has wanted to nurse non-stop. Throughout the day she keeps grabbing at my chest. I try to distract her and play with her and see if it's just a comfort thing. I end up nursing her on average every 3 hours though. (6-8 times a day) \. My nipples are really sore from nursing her lately especially considering the past 3 days I have given in to nursing her at night.

It has gotten to the point that she wakes 3-4 times a night

This past couple days, I decided I was going to stick through this and not let her CIO ( I HATE CIO as an option for us), because I AP in most aspects and CIO just doesn't seem right for us. On top of that, we live in a fourplex. There are people beneath us, beside us (one of their bedrooms is literally right next to DDs) and diagonally down from us. So for the first few nights, I've given in and pulled her in bed with me and nursed her and even coslept a little bit but shes a HUGE bed hog and DH brings her back to her crib. I was hoping that if I showed her I was here for her at night and would meet all her comfort needs that she would go back to sleeping at night by herself.

FF to tonight, she woke up at 3:30 AM and finally at 6:00 AM just went back to sleep. She had two naps yesterday as opposed to just one nap that she had taken the previous 3 days. I tried nursing her to sleep in bed. She wanted to play. She crawled all over me and DH and DH was angry and I sent him to the couch. She crawled around the bed in total from 3:45 until about 4:30 and finally I tried nursing her again. Nope, nada. Finally I brought her out to the living room and tried to rock her. Nope... She screamed bloody murder! I put her in her crib at 4:45 after 15 minutes of screaming because I was angry and didn't want to take my temper out on her. She played in her crib for 15 minutes and then cried. I let her cry for 10 minutes and gave in and went to get her. SHe played from 5:15 playing with toys and watching baby einstein until around 5:45 she decided she was tired and kept crawling up to me and whimpering as I was typing this out. I wrapped her up and nurse dher and she's FINALLY asleep!!!

This leads me to believe that she's sleeping too frequently much through the day? (2 hours with two naps or one 2 hour nap - maybe her last nap is too late? (5 PM)).? Is it the seperation anxiety? Is it her gross motor skills developing that are distracting her and make her wanna get up and move? Should I feed her at night. Should I let her CIO. Should I let her CIO but go cehck on her in intervals to let her know that I'm still there? Should I rock her? Should I put her in her crib drowsy but awake so she learns to sooth herself (This will reslut in no naps for a few days and some terrible nights because we've tried this before and she HATED it)? should I be more consistent in offering a lovey (I hate this because shes so active and while she nursing and calming down she hits me in the face with her lovey for a good 5 - 10 minutes)? My head is spinning. I don't know what to do!?!?!?! I have to go to work next month after my bartending class is up. During my bartending class, I won't be home during bed time routine starting in early oct. There is no way to avoid it. DH is not going to be a happy camper if this keeps up and I'm not home to help. He will eave her to CIO.

I am NOT a patient woman! I wish I were, but I'm just not. I cannot handle this anymore. My DH is super cranky for the next 24 hours if he gets woken up at night and has less patience than me and a violent temper (never has come close to hurting DD but has been rough and scared her). So betweeen her and him, I'm going to snap! Please give me your advice mamas


Krystal , young and frugal little lady and very crunchy SAHmama to our two kiddos, DD (11/26/08) and intact DS (06/22/10)
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Old 09-23-2009, 03:22 PM   #2
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Re: 10 mos old and Sleep

Oh mama, it sounds like you're having a rough time. I don't really have any advice but this: If you're going to CIO, do it. If you're not, don't.

If you do let your LO cry for a while and then go and get her anyway, then all you are doing is reinforcing that if they cry for long enough, mama will come. You either want to:
a/ Let DD know that 5.30 is an inappropriate time to get up for the day (CIO)
b/ Mama will come and get you no matter what time if you cry.

If it were me, I would go in, nurse and then put her back in her crib and leave the room until whatever time you deem reasonable. The only time we have ever let her get up and play in the middle of the night was when we travelled halfway around the world (literally) and we were all jetlagged, therefore we felt it unreasonable to make her lie in bed while we were all awake.

Also, TV is way too engaging for her if you want her to go back to sleep. May I suggest putting a few toys and a sippy of water in her crib? We do this and DD will wake up and play for a while before calling out to us.
Leila, wrapping mama to Eleanor (Oct '08) and welcoming Emmett, April 2010!
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