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Old 12-04-2013, 05:47 PM   #31
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Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

My bond with DS1 started well before he was even born. It probably hit me sometime after an ultrasound confirmed that he was boy. I had already made my mind up that he was. The confirmation solidified things for me. I was so sure of exactly who he was going to be and what he was going to look like. He's fit that mold to a T. I was really worried about having more kids because I was/am so strongly bonded to him. I didn't want anything to ruin that. I couldn't imagine loving someone else as much as him.

DD was probably around 3/4/5 months old before I started feeling strongly connected to her. DH and I went through a really bad period during my pregnancy with her. We nearly got divorced. It was very traumatic. I experienced a bunch of bleeding through my first trimester with her. I was certain that I was going to lose her. My midwives talked to me like they were preparing me for a miscarriage. With everything that was going on, I wished that I would just miscarry quickly and get it over with. When I hit my second trimester with her, the bleeding totally stopped. We decided not to find out her gender until birth. In hindsight, with everything else that happened, knowing her gender ahead of time would have helped me bond. I really regret not finding out. I got concerned that something was wrong with me because I just couldn't connect. When she was 3 months old, I found out that I was already pregnant again. I was so angry that I hadn't had a real chance to connect with her yet and there was already another LO on the way. I felt so guilty. I think that sped things along. I needed to make the best of the rest of her time as the baby. Now I'm totally head over heels for her. She's so adorable. She's at such a wonderful age. I think that 12-18 months is the easiest and most fun age to parent.

I'm still struggling to bond deeply with DS3. He's 10 weeks old. I was depressed for much of my pregnancy with him because I wasn't ready for him yet. We found out his gender at 20 weeks, but that didn't really help me bond much this time. I know it will come with time. Irish twins is hard! It's hard to bond and connect when my hands are so full. I'm so stressed all of the time. I'm not even slightly concerned over my slow bond with him. I get there a little more every day. He's smiling and laughing a bit now. That has helped me connect. The more he transforms out of the baby blob stage, the more I feel bonded.


Liz (12 yrs), Jake (Feb '10), Josie (Sept '12), & Josh (Sept '13)
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Last edited by ashley84; 12-04-2013 at 06:06 PM.
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Old 12-24-2013, 10:35 PM   #32
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Re: At what point did you feel a strong connection with LO?

In my 19th week I did a massage where I felt him move with the massage therapists hands. It was amazing--more real than the random flutters I had been feeling. I really connected to him then.
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