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Old 12-14-2014, 08:48 PM   #1
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Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

So my baby has been eating solids (started on purees) since 6/7 months, he's now 9 months. He can self feed to some degree (cheerios, bananas, yogurt melts, bits of other food). How do you respond to friends/family who want your baby to eat things that you don't want them to?

Like tonight we were Skyping with my in-laws, and they asked if he could have caramel and kept pushing it. I guess they made some home made caramel and really want him to try it. Am I weird for saying no? He's only 9 months!
They kept saying it wasn't as sweet as normal caramel because they made it with chocolate... lol, like that's going to make me more likely to feed it to him.

I'm just not sure why folks really want my baby to eat certain things.

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Old 12-14-2014, 08:57 PM   #2
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Re: Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

Ummmmm, hello? Choking hazard! I don't think they're supposed to officially have foods like that until they're 4, just because they're so easy to choke on. I do let my kids eat thing like grapes younger than 4, I just cut them up, but 9 months is way too young for candy.
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Old 12-14-2014, 09:12 PM   #3
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Re: Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

You are not being uptight. They are behaving ignorantly.

In my family I just say allergy problems. Generally works for us as we do have a lot of food allergies. I have also said the doctor won't allow it. If all else fails use the, "Because I said so and that is that. Don't like it? There's the door." Had to do the last one to retain control of my daughter when she was a baby. My mother had the false notion she had some say in the rearing of our children. Had to nip that one in the bud. Still have to do it periodically. More than once she has stormed out in anger with no contact for up to a week. She gets over it eventually. Although she thinks I am over possessive of my children.
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Old 12-14-2014, 09:15 PM   #4
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I told all family/friends that I would not feed my dd refined sugar until her first birthday at the earliest. Then for her birthday we made an avocado coconut cream pie sweetened with maple syrup. She's had a few sugary things since her bday but I'm kinda strict about it. I don't even feed her the sweet Puffs because of the sugar.

Check out the documentary called Fed Up, it's extremely informative and a good thing to know as a mother. Maybe your inlaws should watch it too...
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Old 12-14-2014, 09:43 PM   #5
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Re: Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

I would not let my 9 month old eat carmel, and we are pretty lenient by a lot of peoples standards on what our babies eat.
My kids have never had pureed food. We just hand them the food we eat and let them figure it out for the most part, but that is food not candy and sweets. My daughter did try a chocolate with caramel this last Halloween that one of her brothers let her get ahold of, but she was 19 months old at that point and I still was not happy about her getting it then.
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Old 12-15-2014, 10:07 AM   #6
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Re: Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

Yeah, I wasn't planning on letting him have any. I was just surprised because my MIL has generally been pretty level headed about baby things so far.

Over Thanksgiving my aunt was getting pushy with what he ate/didn't eat, her main reasoning was that it would be "rude" to eat in front of him if he couldn't eat anything. Um, he's 9 months old. He doesn't care.
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Old 12-15-2014, 11:37 AM   #7
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Re: Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

Use the "Doctor said" line. My doctor had a bunch of restrictions for introducing foods so it wasn't a lie. I'm assuming your doc would say no to caramel too.

When I took my ten month old to England everyone gave him chocolate. It was kind of funny. "Look at this adorable baby. Must give him chocolate."
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Old 12-15-2014, 11:39 AM   #8
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Re: Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

You are not too uptight. Some people are just crazy.

My last baby didn't even have a bit of solids of any kind till 9 months.
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Old 12-15-2014, 11:48 AM   #9
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Re: Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

Not uptight at all.

How do I respond to friends and family like that? I am blunt and to the point: no. Probably not the PC way, but I try to be a pretty straightforward person. My family does a pretty good job of respecting my parenting decisions, especially in the food area, but my MIL is another story!
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Old 12-15-2014, 01:01 PM   #10
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Re: Am I too uptight? Pushy relatives...

I had someone ask if they could give my 2 MONTH old FROSTING!! I about ... I politely declined & had to say 3 times that I'd really rather not...the odd thing was that the woman told me didn't blame me & that she wouldn't want to give it to her baby either if she had a 2 MO... WHAT?! Yeah, seriously!

& that was w/my 1st baby... I wasn't bold or outspoken yet, but let me tell you, I sure became a bear when it came to my kiddos... & things like that & pushy obnoxious relatives were what prompted me to be. We get all kinds of crap about gluten... I want to scream. We had an aunt ask why we couldn't just pull the friend, breading off the chicken & still eat it... uhm, maybe because it will get us SICK?! People are clueless...they would never suggest I lick the PB off of some bread & let a kid w/peanut allergies eat it, but it's okay to poison MY kids?! Also, just an FYI... I am not minimizing peanut allergies... I just would appreciate them to show the same respect for my kids & my reactions even though they aren't peanut allergies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by qsefthuko View Post
You are not being uptight. They are behaving ignorantly.

In my family I just say allergy problems. Generally works for us as we do have a lot of food allergies. I have also said the doctor won't allow it. If all else fails use the, "Because I said so and that is that. Don't like it? There's the door." Had to do the last one to retain control of my daughter when she was a baby. My mother had the false notion she had some say in the rearing of our children. Had to nip that one in the bud. Still have to do it periodically. More than once she has stormed out in anger with no contact for up to a week. She gets over it eventually. Although she thinks I am over possessive of my children.
AMEN to this, especially the bolded! I have had issues w/my MIL, but she now knows to back off because when my DC are involved, I am a BEAR! LOL

Our docs advise no dairy for 2 years so I also say allergy reasons.. we also have gluten issues, so that eliminates a lot of crap my kids can't eat... though we had family members going on & on & on & on about how DEPRIVED my kids were because they couldn't eat cake, etc. at a party. I was MAD & told them it is poison to my kids' bodies & that they needn't feel bad about my kids not being able to have it... & that I wouldn't feel bad about not giving their kid something that was a poison. Blank stares all around, but they finally shut up. They did send my kids home w/all kinds of nasty, sticky candy (we have had dental issues due to enamel hypoplasia & family all knows that, yet they feel candy is so important that even though my kids had to have near all of their teeth repaired as young toddlers it was THEIR right to give my kids crap... it went into the garbage & my kids knew why... and they honestly didn't want to have any dental issues & said they didn't want the candy anyway... which they tried to tell the pushy relatives but they wouldn't hear of it).

They were also harassing us because I said not to soda for the kids... we brought up the horrible dental issues, the fact that one DD gets a sore throat & her throat swells up when she has soda, and the fact that it is just plain completely not good to drink... blank stares... eh, whatever!

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Originally Posted by oregonmom View Post
I would not let my 9 month old eat carmel, and we are pretty lenient by a lot of peoples standards on what our babies eat.
My kids have never had pureed food. We just hand them the food we eat and let them figure it out for the most part, but that is food not candy and sweets. My daughter did try a chocolate with caramel this last Halloween that one of her brothers let her get ahold of, but she was 19 months old at that point and I still was not happy about her getting it then.
Same here... our docs tell parents not to use the purees.

My older kids are trouble like that sometimes too! LOL

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Originally Posted by apeeling View Post
Over Thanksgiving my aunt was getting pushy with what he ate/didn't eat, her main reasoning was that it would be "rude" to eat in front of him if he couldn't eat anything. Um, he's 9 months old. He doesn't care.
Babies don't care... they don't know what it is, they are fine. Once they have it THEN they know, but if they don't have it, they are fine & usually won't give it a 2nd thought.

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Originally Posted by Agla View Post
Use the "Doctor said" line. My doctor had a bunch of restrictions for introducing foods so it wasn't a lie. I'm assuming your doc would say no to caramel too.

When I took my ten month old to England everyone gave him chocolate. It was kind of funny. "Look at this adorable baby. Must give him chocolate."
Ours too... but ours are crunchy docs, so people think they are goofy when I say docs advise against certain things.

Ooooo, I want to go to England... forget the baby, give this MAMA chocolate .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerissa View Post
You are not too uptight. Some people are just crazy.

My last baby didn't even have a bit of solids of any kind till 9 months.
YES!! One of mine was 10 mos old.
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