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Old 09-14-2015, 05:45 PM   #1
mamalovesnova
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step parent adoptions

Does anyone have experience with step-parent adoptions? I'm new to this forum, but enjoy what I have read so far.

My husband (DH?) wants to adopt my four year old. My ex and I broke up while I was pregnant with her, and he had very little contact with her, until she was 1 1/2 and I put my foot down. He would only visit her once every 3 to 6 months, and when he started asking to take her and not showing up, I decided we were better off without him. (It took 4 months after making up my mind about that before he even called and I was able to tell him no!)

So flash forward, we have heard from him maybe 2x in the last 3 years, each time to threaten me about something, and I wouldn't even know how to contact him if I tried. We now live in a different state, and he has never EVER paid child support. He is not on the birth certificate.

I know in our state that step-parent adoption can be granted based on an "absent parent" but does anyone have experience with this? How difficult is it to have this granted? Any advice?

Thanks so much.

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Old 09-14-2015, 06:22 PM   #2
abunchoflemons
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They will do reasonable search for other parent. Then no support and no visitations and no contract isn't on his favor in Iowa and I think in general but there has to be paternity established. Then should be good...


There are a few threats in past about this topic.

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Old 09-14-2015, 06:41 PM   #3
mamalovesnova
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Re: step parent adoptions

Thanks so much for the info.

What do you mean by there has to be some paternity established?

My ex didn't have any paternity established whatsoever, just want to clarify.

Thanks again, I will def check out the other threads.
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Old 09-14-2015, 07:06 PM   #4
abunchoflemons
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalovesnova View Post
Thanks so much for the info.

What do you mean by there has to be some paternity established?

My ex didn't have any paternity established whatsoever, just want to clarify.

Thanks again, I will def check out the other threads.
You will have to have docs with state saying ex is dad and that he agrees to that in simple in order for state to do Child support, visitation and like things for there to be an adoption I think.

If uncontested or no hold UPS from ex I think paternity is like 6 months but some might be faster since your spouse wants top adopt right away and nothing from ex.Otherwise paternity can be a while. If you have pics of ex /dad and baby when she was little then that helps you.


Write when and how often he didn't show up or like. As things that are written wool help as documentation.

I know.

Talk to family law in your state as states may differ on how fast and what to do in type situation as yours Is slightly different than mine. I had paternity almost right away.
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Old 05-18-2016, 04:58 PM   #5
Armymom31
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Re: step parent adoptions

I would get an attorney. they might have a different definition of absent
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Old 05-21-2016, 04:36 PM   #6
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Re: step parent adoptions

In most states I think even the absent parent has a chance to come to court an say their piece. If you can get him to agree to sign over rights it might be simpler. Ex will likely need to submit to a DNA test to verify he is the dad to be able to give up rights. You will need an attorney either way so it may best to find one from the start and get the process going.
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Old 05-31-2016, 12:20 PM   #7
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Re: step parent adoptions

we are in a similar situation. my husband is adopting my 6 yo. His "father" has never even met him but paternity is established. our attorney has told us you must be married two year to do adoption. then you must go to court for "father to relinquish rights. then complete a formal adoption with child having its own attorney and home study. looking to be about 10k total. needless to say we are trying to save up because that is no small sum. best of luck to you. I love to see dads adopting their children! its so good.
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Old 09-20-2016, 07:08 PM   #8
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Re: step parent adoptions

Following!
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