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Old 06-22-2006, 03:26 PM   #1
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Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

OK so my ex, moved in with his girlfriend and has been clearing his house out to sell... so he sold it and closed on it today... he had the kids (my older 3/his) helping him move stuff out, haul stuff away etc ( my oldest drives so he helped a lot) our youngest is going to be 11 in Sept and does NOT like to work or do anything so he didnt do much until the very end when he got wind that money would be involved... ok so Tuesday night he came back from vacation with his girlfriend and called the kids and said he was getting cleaning supplies together and coming to pick them up to go clean the house. SO you are wondering what my problem is right?
Well he paid all 3 kids equally.. even though the work was not done equally kwim? so he has just further showed our almost 11 year old that it is ok not to do your share and you will get paid the same anyways

the ridiculous part about all of this???? he gave each of the kids $200... that is $600!!! WTH!!!!!
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Old 06-22-2006, 03:31 PM   #2
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

Wow! When we moved when I was a kid we never got paid (nor did I expect to get any $) I guess that is nice of your ex to pay them for helping out. But you're right, he def. should have paid on a sliding scale, keeping with the effort of the kid. Maybe he was trying to be fair, but IMVHO it doens't teach responsibilty. Sadly we must all grow up and realize life isn't fair, and no one is gonna pay us for doing nothing. Have you talked to ex about it?
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Old 06-22-2006, 03:33 PM   #3
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

No, I dont talk to him unless I have to... his GF has him so wrapped it is ridiculous! We do talk civily and get along but we just dont talk unless we have to.
I think he was trying to be fair but in reality it wasnt fair because the other 2 know they did more work!

And had I known he would have been dropping the dollars like that I would have been over there moving the stuff out!!!
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Old 06-22-2006, 03:36 PM   #4
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And had I known he would have been dropping the dollars like that I would have been over there moving the stuff out!!!
Think of all the dipes that would have bought!!
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Old 06-22-2006, 03:38 PM   #5
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Old 06-22-2006, 03:44 PM   #6
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

When I was a kid chores were chores no $ about it. Dad said clean, I had to clean. I wanted $ he said then get a job!
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Old 06-22-2006, 04:03 PM   #7
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

See, that was my initial thought, but my dad used to give my brother and I a ton of $ for Christmas and BD gifts after he and my mom split up. He was trying to show off and make my mom feel bad that she couldn't give us as much. If she were to take the $ then she would have looked like the bad guy and Dad ends up looking like the hero. It is a hard sitch! And I understand it from the kids POV, not the spouses bcs (Praise the Lord) I have never been the parent in that sitch.
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Old 06-22-2006, 04:12 PM   #8
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

yeah, see the thing is my oldest was working the hardest because he needs a new engine for his car. My FIL found one for $425 so he was working hard to get the money to buy it. My daughter is going to loan him $100 of hers... I dont think the 11yo will loan any of his... that is just how he is he is already saying how he has enough to buy a PS2

I dont want to be the bad guy, and I dont want my ex to think *I* am taking the money kwim? so I think I will give my 11 yo a good talking about how he is very lucky his dad wants to be fair but in no way did he earn the same amount of money his brother and sister did...... I am not sure if it will even sink into his head.....
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Old 06-22-2006, 05:16 PM   #9
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

You should talk to your ex about it. Well, I can say that easily as I don't have an ex...although dh and I were almost there...and I can see how even if I had been able to talk to him about anything, it would've been fallingon deaf ears. ANYWAY....if you can,you should talk to him about instilling good work ethics...as far as you work hard, you benefit from it....you're lazy, you lose out. I don't know...like try to convey that the $ was very appreciated or whatever, and you can understand trying to be fair....but it really WASN'T fair to the ones who worked harder. It was only "fair" to the one who didn't.
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Old 06-22-2006, 05:17 PM   #10
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Re: Oh for Goodness Sakes!!

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Originally Posted by jls~Kain~Drake
You should talk to your ex about it. Well, I can say that easily as I don't have an ex...although dh and I were almost there...and I can see how even if I had been able to talk to him about anything, it would've been fallingon deaf ears. ANYWAY....if you can,you should talk to him about instilling good work ethics...as far as you work hard, you benefit from it....you're lazy, you lose out. I don't know...like try to convey that the $ was very appreciated or whatever, and you can understand trying to be fair....but it really WASN'T fair to the ones who worked harder. It was only "fair" to the one who didn't.
good way to put it!
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