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Old 03-01-2008, 09:39 PM   #1
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Friends Selfish DH again VBAC

So I just found out that a friend of mine is pregnant, they hadn't planned on anymore, they have 5 kids already, his, hers and theirs. So #6 is on the way, she's trying to get excited but of course still in shock. Now, she's always had to have c-sections and really wants to have a VBAC this time, she's looking for a dr. or midwife in our area that will help with this. She's getting a lot of support from friends and family but her DH is against it. And not for medical reason either, he likes the fact that she's not "stretched out" and still "tight" down there and he's afraid that if she delivers vaginally then that will change. I just couldn't believe it! I have never heard of this before from any other friends, my dh has never made a comment and we're pregnant with #4. So, now my friend is reconsidering. I told her she should do what she wants to do regardless of how her dh feels, that he's being selfish. But maybe I should be more supportive incase she does decide to go ahead with another c-section? What would you do? Should I just keep my mouth shut? And is this a common concern from men you think?


Atara, wife to Joseph Mom to Kaleb 11/7/97 Jacob 12/4/00 Caeden 7/16/06 Ashlyn 5/3/08 and one angel baby
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:14 PM   #2
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Re: Friends Selfish DH again VBAC

I feel so bad for your friend! She will probably have trouble finding a OB or MW that will support a VBAC after 5 c-sections b/c of the increased risk for uterine rupture. It's great that she has a friend, at least, that is supportive even if her DH isn't!
Angie Luckiest Lady in the world. Married to SAHD Justin , Mama to Jaden 10/10/03 and triplets Jeremiah , Jaren , Giavanna 09/15/05 and Gabrielle 08/12/13. We are one big, happy, Jesus loving family!!
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:17 PM   #3
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Re: Friends Selfish DH again VBAC

what a jerk, can anyone say keigals??? LOL tell her to tell him there are excercises for that, what a moron. yeah i have heard of it. i have also heard of men who asked for a daddy stitch when the cut gets stitched, they are idiots.
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:20 PM   #4
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Re: Friends Selfish DH again VBAC

I think she will have a hard time finding someone to do a VBAC after so many c sections before. As for her "tightness" I was told that your pretty much go back to normal after 1 or 2 babies. So if she does have a vaginal birth it will only be number 1 for her. My DH is worried as well of that reason, I had a vaginal birth with DD but thing is that I had a nasty cut up in and when they stitched me up it ended up becoming a blood clot in it. So they had to stretch me worse then I already was to reopen it and then stitch me back up. Due to that I never went back to normal, DH is worried it will get worse. But like I told DH there are plenty of things to help me down there weather it be surgery or even if you go to a sex toy shop or someone that sells it they have cream that will tighten you up. So he wasnt too worried about that.
Magan for 11 yrs(11-18-00), SAHM to three girls(Cheyenne, Dakota and Marissa) Enjoying being a non co sleeping, baby wearing, Vaccinating, mama!
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Old 03-02-2008, 03:52 AM   #5
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Re: Friends Selfish DH again VBAC

What a selfish jerk!!! I'm sorry, but I have had 5 children come out of me and that girl is still in mint condition. I have been complimented by previous DR's on how well "toned" I am. During pelvic's, I have to have a small speculum used. I'm proof that things don't get "all stretched out" like people assume!!
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