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Old 02-01-2009, 09:59 AM   #1
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How did you know it was time...

Ok mamas, I want another baby, but I'm not sure when. I always thought that I wanted 2-3 years inbetween my babies, but that would me to start trying now as my DS is 16months old. However, I just don't know if I"m ready or will ever feel ready. I absolutely love my DS to death and as of now, I feel as thought if I became pregant I would feel like I was trying to replace him and that I wouldn't be able to love the next baby as much. But from what I have heard, your love just grows. Other that I have talked to have also said that having another baby when your other child is little, the first child really wouldn't feel left out (as they are still pretty little). Does this all make sense? I was just wondering what some of you other mams thought. I mean if it happened on it's own, I would be ok with that, but I"m just scared to start trying. But on the other hand maybe I should start trying now just in case it takes a while to become pregnant. I got pregnatn fairly fast with my DS (after 2 miscarring twice and both of those times I got pregnant fairly fast), but whos to say it would happen fast again. IDK, what do you ladies think? Thanks for you input!!

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Old 02-01-2009, 10:05 AM   #2
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Re: How did you know it was time...

I wanted mine close since we're only having 2. I won't lie... it is a bit hard having a newborn and a 28 month old. But she already loves her sister so much and I think the frustration only lasts for the first little while when the baby is so tiny and demands so much attention.... nursing especially. But things are starting to get a bit easier even now at 3.5 weeks. I think it will be nice having them close enough that they can enjoy a lot of the same things growing up together. But ultimately it's all about what you want for your family. Some people love having more years between. Maybe just try letting things happen and see where it takes you.
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Old 02-01-2009, 10:09 AM   #3
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Re: How did you know it was time...

Well, we prayed like crazy before we TTC our first baby since my actual first pregnancy did not end well. We were scared so we took it to God and just trusted that he knew when. We've always practiced NFP and it's worked for 10 years and we got pg when we felt we were being called into having another one. I suppose we took a different route than most people. I'm due in July with our third and there's going to be a pretty big age gap between our oldest 2 and the baby. They'll be 7 and 5 when he's born. Otherwise, I can't really explain how I knew.
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Old 02-01-2009, 10:22 AM   #4
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Re: How did you know it was time...

I also am scared after having the miscarriges. I know I need to trust God more and not be scared, but it is so hard when you loose a baby you just have that in your mind (at least I did and still do). Thanks!

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Well, we prayed like crazy before we TTC our first baby since my actual first pregnancy did not end well. We were scared so we took it to God and just trusted that he knew when. We've always practiced NFP and it's worked for 10 years and we got pg when we felt we were being called into having another one. I suppose we took a different route than most people. I'm due in July with our third and there's going to be a pretty big age gap between our oldest 2 and the baby. They'll be 7 and 5 when he's born. Otherwise, I can't really explain how I knew.
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Old 02-01-2009, 10:26 AM   #5
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Re: How did you know it was time...

Oh, definitely! We've lost 2 and one being particularly late in the pregnancy. There's not a moment during a pregnancy that it's not on my mind and I agree that it's really hard to just have faith and lean on God to get you through it. REALLY hard. I'm here if you ever need a shoulder or just to talk about it. XOXO
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Old 02-01-2009, 11:48 AM   #6
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Re: How did you know it was time...

We knew we wanted them about 3 years apart, so our daughter had time to be the shining glory for a while. We started right about when she was 2 for our 2nd child, it took us till she was almost 2 1/2 to get preggers then delivered at almost 3 years 11months apart. It took longer for us to get pregnant than we expected. I think if your ready go for it!
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Old 02-01-2009, 02:52 PM   #7
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Re: How did you know it was time...

I think if you started trying right around when your ds is 2 yrs that would be perfect...mine are 3 years apart and the spacing is awesome!
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:39 PM   #8
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Re: How did you know it was time...

losses always carry residual fear and hesitation. we tried for 7 yrs to have ds2 with 5 losses so his pg was fraught with fear and trepidation, but this pg, a surprise, has been effortless! i think you will know when to start trying, that whisper in your heart. it is hard to put losses behind you but ultimately determining if fear of another loss is your hold up or truly not being ready to ttc will hold your answer. i hope that you find peace in whichever direction you take!
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Old 02-01-2009, 03:55 PM   #9
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Re: How did you know it was time...

your concerns are totally valid. I am still having some of the same concerns even though I am 14 weeks preggo with #2. My daughter will be 20 months old when the next is born. The thing that helped us decide is to remember that we wanted more than one child and we are great parents so we will find a way to make it work. I was surprised we got pregnant so quickly. I would suggest you think about the pros and cons of having another. Are your "cons" legitimate concerns or are they vague worries that you would have no matter when you have a second? My point is, are there legitimate reasons to keep waiting? I hope you are able to make your decisions and able to have a healthy baby when the time comes.
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Old 02-01-2009, 04:46 PM   #10
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Re: How did you know it was time...

Thanks for the shoulder, I really appreciate it
. I have never lost a pregnancy late in the pregnancy (mine were both early), but I'm a RN in the Intensive Care Nursery and we work close with the antepartum Women's Center. After working where I do and seeing what I see, it gives me a very small idea of what it would be like to lose a pregnancy late and or a baby that has been in the NICU. After becoming a mom, it is getting harder and harder for me to work there. I am trying to trust God more and more with this, but it is difficult at times. I don't know the exact place it is found, but there is that verse in the Bible that goes something like this..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Have a great night!!! Thanks for listening!

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Oh, definitely! We've lost 2 and one being particularly late in the pregnancy. There's not a moment during a pregnancy that it's not on my mind and I agree that it's really hard to just have faith and lean on God to get you through it. REALLY hard. I'm here if you ever need a shoulder or just to talk about it. XOXO
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