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Old 01-20-2009, 03:00 PM   #1
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how do you know 1 child is enough?

DD is 14 months old and DH and I just do NOT want another child any time soon.
I'm just wondering how you really know if one is enough?

When I think of us as a family, I feel complete. I dont feel the need to have another child. However, myself having a sister, I loved it. I really want DD to have a sibling, but I just dont want another baby.

If we do decide to have another child, we want it to be sooner rather than later, so they are closer in age, however, we just absolutely DO not want to deal with the infant/toddler stage.

I'm at a loss.

I feel if we have another child, it would be only for DD so she can have a sibling and not b/c DH and I WANTED another babes.

please help me.

how do you know 1 is enough?

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Old 01-20-2009, 03:32 PM   #2
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Re: how do you know 1 child is enough?

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When I think of us as a family, I feel complete. I dont feel the need to have another child.



how do you know 1 is enough?
i think you answered your own Q mama

If you feel complete and satisfied, then i think 1 really is just enough for you. There are many pros and cons to each side of the fence. While having lots of kids offers playmates for your child, it also offers competition and sibling rivalry. While being an only child may *seem* lonely to you, it also guarantees her all of your attention without having to compete with a sibling. See what i mean, while another family might like having many kids (like me) other families feel complete with just one. That doesnt mean your child will grow up and resent you for not giving her a sibling, that doesnt mean your child will be lonely or secluded. I know many families with one child and it just works for them, just like having a lot of kids works for other families.
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:20 PM   #3
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Re: how do you know 1 child is enough?

bump

should i add that DH WANTS another child, just NOT now. Eventually he wants one, however, I dont.

its a constant battle between us.
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:27 PM   #4
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Re: how do you know 1 child is enough?

My children are five years apart. I feel like it's been ideal because it's like they've each had their own special time as babies with mama. I really wanted my daughter to be a bit more "grown" before adding another baby to the mix. It's worked out in an amazing way. They are so close, too.

I felt like my family was complete with just her, too. But I was "won over" to have another by people reminding me that my husband and I won't always be around – godwilling, she will out-live us. In that case, it's good to have a sibling to carry on your family traditions with.

Now that I have two, I am seriously considering a third... but that's another story!!

(I had major anxiety about his arrival while I was pregnant too. It's really okay if you only want to have one! Don't let anyone bully you!)
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:41 PM   #5
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Re: how do you know 1 child is enough?

It took forever to have ds, we are blessed and finally a family now. Having more child than one would be wonderful, but if it doesn't happen for us again, one is enough.
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Old 01-20-2009, 10:02 PM   #6
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Re: how do you know 1 child is enough?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Violet1983 View Post
bump

should i add that DH WANTS another child, just NOT now. Eventually he wants one, however, I dont.

its a constant battle between us.

I'm not saying you should change your mind, but if you're really not sure and your husband doesn't want one for a while anyways, why not think about it for awhile? I mean, if you don't know for certain how you feel, it's not like it's something that has to be decided right now. If you still feel the same in a year or two, then you'll know one is enough, right? I would still definitely be honest about not wanting more right now with your husband, though.
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Old 01-20-2009, 10:14 PM   #7
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Re: how do you know 1 child is enough?

Did you want kids to start out with?

I'm not sure how old you guys are (like how long child-bearing will be), but my neighbor growing up - the mom in the family had my friend at age 20 and then when we were ten, (mom was 30) she had her second. People always assumed they had two different dads - nope. It was just what was right for their family.

Good luck mama - hard decisions - always harder when you and your partner don't see eye-to-eye.
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