Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-19-2009, 08:01 PM   #31
Rosella's Avatar
Rosella
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,039
Re: What to do with screaming toddler in store?

Quote:
Originally Posted by juliasmom92905 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosella View Post
I still cannot imagine what makes a kid get to that point! I mean, somewhere, this behavior had to start gradually and just must not have been consistently dealt with or appropriately dealt with (whatever that would mean to that family), right? Right? It boggles my mind.
No offense but statements like these irk the ever loving heck out of me.
My DD is one that at times will have an ALL out TT in a public place. Some children just have a very low frustration tolerance and it has nothing to do with being consistentlyt handled or not. Sometimes its a combination of things. For DD we figured out that the mall is way to overstimulating for her so we avoid it. As for some children they act this way because of autism.
Be grateful that you have never had to experience it....this kind of behavior is humiliating (at least for me it is) and made worse by people who have the holier than thou parenting attitude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2JJ View Post
ITA agree with you...it IS himiliating as a parent, been there and done that many times. I kind took offense to that statement too. I have a very strong willed 3 year old who WILL throw fits in public just like he would at home. I also have a very easy going second child, that I did nothing different with. My 3 year olds personality has ALWAYS been intense since he was born. He was one of those babies who would SCREAM the entire car ride. We are getting better with his tantrums, but I truly believe a big part is his personality.

Every child is different and sometimes others are quick to judge you as a parent and that makes me sad.

ETA I would never keep my ds in the store screaming for 30 mintues though....if we can't work it out, which happens, we leave or if my dh is with he takes him to the car.

You really did misunderstand me - I was not being holier than thou OR judging - I was truly asking, isn't that the case?? And maybe it isn't! Obviously it isn't. But I also think you both show that you DO deal with it in some way that is appropriate for your families - juliasmom, you realized the mall was overstimulating and avoid it. Mommy2jj, you say yourself you would NEVER keep your child in the store that long ...

I am in no way saying Margo does not have her willful, stubborn streak - she definitely does! But like others have said, I know her triggers, I know how any bad behavior in public possibly escalates, and I've learned how to distract or discipline our way down from a potentially full-blown tantrum. So far. But talk to me about Margo kicking, hitting, pinching, and throwing things at home Believe me, I know I don't have all the parenting answers!

Please, mamas, don't think I was judging you - I wasn't. I was asking an actual question to which I don't necessarily know the answer.

Advertisement

__________________
Smitten mama to & proud creator of Margo Dora, who arrived August 14, 2007.
Expecting our second in early June, 2011.

We should remember that if a situation cannot be changed, there's no point in worrying about it. If it can be changed, there is no need to worry about it either, we should simply go about changing it. His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
Rosella is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 09:30 PM   #32
CuteAndFunUsername's Avatar
CuteAndFunUsername
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Grew up in southeast Mass, now live on Nantucket Island off Cape Cod.
Posts: 48
Re: What to do with screaming toddler in store?

Nevermind. I had my opinion out here but I know for a fact it will just create unnecessary drama so I'll just skidaddle to the Extra Fluff forum... see ya!

Last edited by CuteAndFunUsername; 01-19-2009 at 09:35 PM.
CuteAndFunUsername is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 10:18 PM   #33
ShayneLeMaster's Avatar
ShayneLeMaster
no caption needed
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Latitude = 35.5188, Longitude = -86.3965
Posts: 10,152
My Mood:
Re: What to do with screaming toddler in store?

Careful my DD was same way, as a toddler wouldn't stray away, sat patiently in her own chair in waiting rooms. But Gage.....*sigh.... Is that screaming toddler in the store...and it can happen as quick as a ball drops....he just has "bad days" and sometimes not even at the store....

Typically I try to avoid taking Gage becuase he does just switch..,but I do bring granola,raisins etc.. For "bribes"..and always a good talking to, sometimes it fuels the fire sometimes that's all it takes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosella View Post
At that age, IMO, he wasn't too young to be given a very serious and stern talking to about his unacceptable behavior, a warning, and then if he didn't let up, I think I would pack it up and go, with discipline at home for the incident. The 3 year old was, I'm sure, just reacting to the older sibling's example.

I still cannot imagine what makes a kid get to that point! I mean, somewhere, this behavior had to start gradually and just must not have been consistently dealt with or appropriately dealt with (whatever that would mean to that family), right? Right? It boggles my mind. Of course, I have a 17 month old who is a dream out in public. I never ever acted this way when I was a child. I've never been around a child who behaved that way. So maybe I just lack that particular 'experience' - and thank goodness!
__________________
Do you like my avatar? check me out on FACEBOOK
ShayneLeMaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 10:32 PM   #34
Sweetpotatoesmom's Avatar
Sweetpotatoesmom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: A house full of chaos.
Posts: 2,532
My Mood:
Re: What to do with screaming toddler in store?

I am totally that mother. Sometimes my kids are fan tastic when we shop but most of the time not so much. I know why they are misbehaving and I do my best to involve them, etc... but I am a single mom, I do not have the option of shopping w/o them. I also do not have the option of walking out if things get bad. I wish i could but, we wouldn't have any dinner kwim. So, I just keep on shopping, I offer to let them help and all that stuff but when they have had it. there is not much I can do. Unfortunately teh only time that I can shop is often the worst time for them.So when you see the mother w/ the screaming children just walk on by, don't assume that he isn't teaching them to behave, they might be very well mannered children but tired,bored, realize that she might not have the option to walk out, just be happy you do.

ETA: mainy my youngest is the trouble maker b/c he isn't old enough for me to say if "you do this then this will happen", and have him fully understand on a consistent basis
__________________
Mommy of 3 amazing boys

Last edited by Sweetpotatoesmom; 01-19-2009 at 10:35 PM.
Sweetpotatoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2009, 01:40 PM   #35
png_lovebirds
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Denton, TX
Posts: 3,649
My Mood:
Re: What to do with screaming toddler in store?

I wouldn't ever let my child throw a fit so long they threw up...so I can't speak for that situation!! But we also don't take our kids out of the store for throwing a fit...in my mind, that's them winning.
So, generally what we do if we're just starting our shopping and the fit begins, we threaten with a time out! Now, I'm not above time outs in Walmart! They are very effective for my kids and generally when I tell them to hush or you'll go to time out, they say "No thank you" and stop crying.

Now, if they've done well throughout the shopping and close to the end their patience starts wearing thin...then I do bribe them with those small boxes of Goldfish in the checkout isle! They hush very quickly when I bring that up!

That being said, I'm not going to look down at someone b/c their child is throwing a fit! I've often gone up to a momma having a hard time with their child and say " I remember those days"! And we talk for a few min and then go our separate ways! I often find that when I do that, the kid calms down as well!
png_lovebirds is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2009, 01:52 PM   #36
Spindle Spun's Avatar
Spindle Spun
Spindle Spun - Handspun Goodness
Formerly: iamslh
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Saint Cloud
Posts: 3,733
My Mood:
Re: What to do with screaming toddler in store?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetpotatoesmom View Post
I am totally that mother. Sometimes my kids are fan tastic when we shop but most of the time not so much. I know why they are misbehaving and I do my best to involve them, etc... but I am a single mom, I do not have the option of shopping w/o them. I also do not have the option of walking out if things get bad. I wish i could but, we wouldn't have any dinner kwim. So, I just keep on shopping, I offer to let them help and all that stuff but when they have had it. there is not much I can do. Unfortunately teh only time that I can shop is often the worst time for them.So when you see the mother w/ the screaming children just walk on by, don't assume that he isn't teaching them to behave, they might be very well mannered children but tired,bored, realize that she might not have the option to walk out, just be happy you do.

ETA: mainy my youngest is the trouble maker b/c he isn't old enough for me to say if "you do this then this will happen", and have him fully understand on a consistent basis
I have dealt with my share of temper tantrums in public places. My son has a disability, yet it isn't apparent when you look at him. I was also a single mom until he was almost 5. When I shopped, although I tried to make it as quick as possible, it needed to be done and sometimes there weren't really alternatives to just getting it done as fast as possible. What I REALLY needed, in all the times we've had tough times in public places is SOMEONE ANYONE to offer a helping hand. While that may offend some mom's if they are offered a hand, i probably would have cried in gratitude at the reversal of what I was used to. What was I used to? Judgemental parents who assume that my kid having a fit is a result of my bad parenting.

Here's the deal though, I am a parent. My job is to teach my children, and that includes teaching them how to act in stores and in public. But, if my child has a disability and it takes them longer to learn how to act in public, how do they learn if they are not taken? The very act of taking them to the store is a learning experience, and likewise the very act of taking them to the store can be trying, and at times humiliating. But you work through it.

I try to be very careful of how I view other families and parents out in public, because I will NEVER know the whole story, or what that mom or family has been through that day and why she is choosing to stay despite a tantrum. I DO know that I've been there, and I've been the butt of some very cruel actions and statements from other adults.

I also know, that now, with my son at age 8, things are FINALLY working out in public. FINALLY. And I say it is the result of lots and lots of tries to get it right.
__________________
Sarah - Wife to BobTheBabe & Mama to Sandis Hockey DefenseMan 11, Gracie HorseQueen 8, And Thia-nator 2
Spindle Spun - Yarn Gallery , Fiber Gallery, Gallery of Stuff Made With Handspun
Spindle Spun is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC. All Rights Reserved.