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Old 04-28-2013, 11:18 PM   #1
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I am due in Nov, and my toddler is still breastfeeding quite a bit- about every 4 hours during the day, to get to sleep at night, and when she wakes up and needs to get back to sleep (we cosleep). I am trying to figure out if I should try to wean, or at least night wean, before baby comes or just go with it. Any attempts to not nurse at night so far have been highly protested!

I can't really imagine cosleeping and nursing two... But I don't want to push my toddler if she's not ready either. Any experiences or words of wisdom? DD will be 26 mos when baby arrives.

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Old 04-28-2013, 11:49 PM   #2
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Re: Talk to me about tandem nursing...

I know nothing from personal experience. But I've heard there's a great book on it called, "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" or something similar to that. Good luck!
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Old 04-28-2013, 11:59 PM   #3
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Re: Talk to me about tandem nursing...

How old is your nurser? I tandem nursed for almost 2 years. Before that, though, I did limit night time nursing. I slept with my toddler but I once I became pregnant (he was 17 months old) I began to give him my back when he wanted to nurse. He would cry for a minute, and then he would settle back to sleep. This also helped me slowly transition him to his own bed before the new baby came as I didn't want my toddler and my newborn together in bed.

Some moms will nurse the baby and toddler together, and some prefer to nurse them separately; I nursed them together because it saved time and allowed me to rest more with both nurslings in bed a lot for naps, etc.

My tandem nursers are now 11 years old and 13 years old -- I am happy with the decision I made to keep nursing my older son even though I became prenant -- he wasn't ready to wean and I didn't feel like I could make that decision for him. I wanted weaning to be a milestone he approached when ready, and he did wean on his 4th birthday.

The time goes fast.
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Old 04-29-2013, 02:34 PM   #4
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Thanks! She is 19 mos right now. She gets very upset if she wakes up and I don't nurse her right away. Maybe I'm not waiting long enough to see if she'll resettle? I am trying to nurse short at night and then pop her off as soon as I can but we haven't gotten to being able to stop nursing while still awake. She is occasionally resettling herself without nursing so I am seeing that as a glimpse of hope!

I think the best case scenario would be for her to be able to sleep all night in her own room so that I can tend to the little one and not disturb her. It seems like a long road to that point though! I'd be fine with nursing a few times during the day.

Maybe I will set a deadline and if we are not making progress by then try something a little more agressive like Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning method. She is just very resistant to any kind of sleep training and gets very upset and wound up and hard to settle with any little changes to her routine.
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Old 04-29-2013, 04:48 PM   #5
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Re: Talk to me about tandem nursing...

Dr. Gordon's method is not agressive when you look at sleep training methods . I wouldn't feel bad about using it. Also, The No-Cry Sleep Solution might be helpful as well.

Be careful when setting deadlines -- they don't often work for babies/toddlers when it comes to coodrinating our timetable to their milestones (imagine what it would be like to say, "I am setting a goal to have her walking by 10 months...").

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Old 04-29-2013, 07:30 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by birdinhand
Dr. Gordon's method is not agressive when you look at sleep training methods . I wouldn't feel bad about using it. Also, The No-Cry Sleep Solution might be helpful as well.

Be careful when setting deadlines -- they don't often work for babies/toddlers when it comes to coodrinating our timetable to their milestones (imagine what it would be like to say, "I am setting a goal to have her walking by 10 months...").

nak
Thanks! I do have the No Cry Sleep Solution but should reread it. I am using some of the ideas. I wonder if the toddler one would be better for us?

The deadline is more for me - if I am going to make a change that will be a little uncomfortable for her I'd rather do it a bit before baby comes so that she doesn't have a negative association and has time to adjust.

I have a feeling that even gentle methods might cause a lot of distress for her. So I don't want to push it before I have to but at some point I will. I'd like to have her reach the milestone of her sleeping independently on her own but it's just not practical with a newborn coming.
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Old 04-29-2013, 08:05 PM   #7
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I have tandem nursed for a total of 3yrs and counting. All my kids are about 2 yrs apart and each nursed for around 3yrs. (Still bf ing 3&4) it can be a lot at times but it's definitely worth it. Ime it's harder to bf while pg than tandem. I think it has really helped with sibling bonding as well.

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Old 04-29-2013, 08:49 PM   #8
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Re: Talk to me about tandem nursing...

Quote:
Originally Posted by doulamomma View Post
I have tandem nursed for a total of 3yrs and counting. All my kids are about 2 yrs apart and each nursed for around 3yrs. (Still bf ing 3&4) it can be a lot at times but it's definitely worth it. Ime it's harder to bf while pg than tandem. I think it has really helped with sibling bonding as well.

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I agree .
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Old 04-30-2013, 05:13 PM   #9
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Also your toddler might start to decrease nursing on her own during your pregnancy. I was mentally preparing to tandem nurse when I got pregnant, my oldest son was still nursing a lot esp at night (I work full time as a surgeon so he was fairly night cycled and did a lot of his nursing at night). But one night when I was twenty weeks one night he made a funny face (like if you'd tasted corked wine) looked up at me and said "no nurse, daddy read night night" and that was that. I offered for the next few nights and he declined. I have read that around 18-20 weeks the milk often transitions back to colostrum so I think it just tasted funny to him. I was glad he did it on own.
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