Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-09-2013, 05:29 PM   #11
risata's Avatar
risata
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,906
Re: Perspective

Quote:
Originally Posted by momEmac View Post
I understand. I'm only on baby number 2, but it's a second boy and I've heard the same comments, "oh, but you need a girl" or "well, I guess you'll have to try again" and before we knew it was "think pink." My comeback is that I was hoping for another boy and wouldn't mind 2 or 3 more. That always gets some looks! I would love a girl someday, and I would love a house full of boys. It bothers me that people can't just accept my sweet boy as he is, instead of inferring that he is somehow less because he's not the gender they think we should have.
Yes, this is exactly what bothers me, the inferred thought that another girl would not be "good enough." I have two delightful, charming, lovely girls (at least IMO!) so why would the prospect of another be anything less than wonderful?

It also bugs me that some seem to think that I won't have fully experienced motherhood until I have children of each gender ...

MsBurrows, I am sorry for your loss. I simply can't imagine that heartbreak.

Advertisement

__________________
Rachel, Jersey Mama to the Boogie, Peabody, and Bacon
risata is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2013, 06:09 PM   #12
Fishie Kisses's Avatar
Fishie Kisses
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: SJV, CA
Posts: 17,629
My Mood:
I'm expecting boy #4...no girls. I'm thrilled. I thought I might have a tiny bit of disappointment, but I'm actually really excited. What does upset me is when people hear that we are having 'ANOTHER' boy and respond with 'awwww'. Rude.
__________________
Tashauna~~proud wife to my trained boo-boo fixer and mama to 4 boys on earth (Jordan-01/15/08, Logan-12/16/09, Connor-05/17/11)...and finally our rainbow Jackson (11/24/13)! and two in heaven ^i^ (10wks-11/12 and 4 weeks 2/13)
Try SWAGBUCKS and get paid!! I've earned over $1000 just since Jan 1, 2013!!!
Fishie Kisses is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2013, 06:14 PM   #13
MsBurrows
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Alabama
Posts: 512
Re: Perspective

Quote:
Originally Posted by risata View Post

It also bugs me that some seem to think that I won't have fully experienced motherhood until I have children of each gender ...

MsBurrows, I am sorry for your loss. I simply can't imagine that heartbreak.
I hate that people act like that. I left out in my last post that this one on the way is a boy, which may or may not have been obvious in my post. Obviously I want this baby no matter what. But I'm resisting the urge to tell everyone I didn't want a boy, this pregnancy was a surprise and I actually preferred another girl. But none of that matters because this baby is coming and if it's a boy, then now I want a baby boy, lol. But it sort of bugs me that everyone is now happy we are finally having a boy. I know I'm being petty, so I try to keep it to myself.

Thank you for the kind thoughts. Thankfully, I've had time and a rainbow to distance myself from that. My last child came quickly after the loss and that did a lot to repair my heart.
__________________
SAHM to 4 girls ages 10, 8, 4, and 2.

http://heathenhomesteader.com/
MsBurrows is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2013, 09:29 PM   #14
Mamatoabunch's Avatar
Mamatoabunch
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,535
My Mood:
Re: Perspective

Been there. Our first four are girls. People just assumed we were having a fifth to "get" a boy. We weren't, although would have been nice. Turns out our fifth and sixth were boys.
__________________
Annabelle Mom to Makaley 19, Arden 19, Anniston 18, Taegan 15,Balen 13,Kellen 11, Ellery 9,Innish 7,Eiley 5, Finnian 4, and Esca 2, and Isolde 1/16/2014, 10th hbac, 9th uc.
Mamatoabunch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2013, 10:47 PM   #15
JennTheMomma's Avatar
JennTheMomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 7,820
My Mood:
Re: Perspective

My first 2 were boys and with #3, who was born last Feb, we didn't find out the sex. We got the same responses from people and I just smiled. No reason to try to argue with them. I didn't care either way and #3 is a girl.
JennTheMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2013, 10:59 PM   #16
A&M'smommy's Avatar
A&M'smommy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: colorado
Posts: 687
My Mood:
Maybe I shouldn't chime in.... but I think they aren't belittling the gender but mostly infering it would be fun to have one of the other gender... I'm an only girl out of my 7 brothers and I didn't feel put off at all that my step mom wanted another girl. I have 2 girls and a stepson with my husband and I want a boy of my own soo bad! That doesn't mean I love my step son or my daughters any less it just means I want a little boy. If it was me I would try to remember its not a personal attack against anything ... jmo
A&M'smommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2013, 11:42 PM   #17
KiltedKingdom's Avatar
KiltedKingdom
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UT
Posts: 2,694
My Mood:
Re: Perspective

People are insensitive. Open mouth, insert foot. I heard all kinds of comments (about having so many kids, about getting pregnant so quickly, about having so many boys, that I should want a girl, etc., etc., etc......), and now that I have a girl, I tease about putting up with all her brothers so that I can have her (but the boys all know I'm teasing. There's a difference.).

We didn't find out the gender with any of them, which I think drove people crazy, too. I was actually told by my sister that I needed to find out the gender just so she could go shopping. But when it comes down to it, when that baby is born, you will love him/her no matter what, forever and always. It really doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl, he/she will fit perfectly into your family so much so that pretty soon you won't be able to imagine life without him/her.

Try not to worry about what other people say, it's their ideas and issues, not yours. You're doing what's best for yourself and your family.
__________________
Jennifer, homeschooling mom to 7
Ravelry
KiltedKingdom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2013, 05:58 AM   #18
hohaas's Avatar
hohaas
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 1,660
My Mood:
Been there many times! We have 5 girls and I've gotten the whole slew of boy comments. My third daughter passed away and even after her passing when I was pregnant with my rainbows we got them, including those who knew about our loss. Seriously people!? I don't care boy or girl! I just want my baby to live! Nothing else matters! My life is not incomplete not having a son.
__________________
Holly, mommy to 6 ~ 4 on earth 2 in Heaven
hohaas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2013, 09:23 AM   #19
miriamleigh
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,481
Re: Perspective

We are having our third girl and I get these comments all the time. The one that really grates my nerves is when people feel sorry for my husband. DH is very happy to have a gaggle of girls around. We feel blessed to have a healthy pregnancy! I know so many couples who are infertile, suffer miscarriages or have other serious pregnancy complications. How could we be disappointed with a healthy baby girl!
miriamleigh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2013, 10:58 AM   #20
JasmineMama's Avatar
JasmineMama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,080
My Mood:
Re: Perspective

I know how you feel, I have two boys. I was going to be team green this time but my DH really wanted to find out and I had to have a second u/s at 24 weeks so we found out. But, I have endured so many people say "you must really want a little girl!" Or my least favorite (that I've heard) "I'm going to be so excited if you have a girl!" Really? You wouldn't be excited if I had a boy? Because I'm excited either way.

I did find out I was having a girl and I'm happy about it. I would have been just as happy to have a boy. I kind really loved the idea of having four boys. But, this is just as great.

I don't think people mean to be rude, but it can be really hurtful to feel like your baby won't be as celebrated if it is one sex and not the other. I am now nervous that people are going to shower my girl with all sorts of presents/clothes that I don't want or need and my boys will feel left out. :/
__________________
Mr. Man (8/09) , Little guy (6/11) and my little girl (1/14) missing my little beans (10/12) (03/13)
JasmineMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.