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Old 06-27-2017, 02:02 PM   #1
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Doula?

Did anyone here use a doula for your labor and delivery? This is my first and I'm hoping to have a natural childbirth. I've heard nothing but amazing things about hiring a doula but I don't know how I'll talk DH into the extra expense (for reference- Doulas in our area average around $600-700). He already thinks I'm crazy for not wanting to have an epidural. I'd love to hear some personal experiences.

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Old 06-27-2017, 07:13 PM   #2
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Re: Doula?

I did. I took an 18 hour natural childbirth course and she was the teacher and also my doula. It didn't go like I expected/wanted as far as her being supportive. I think she was trying not to get in my husband's way? Or maybe my expectations weren't realistic.

Either way, I would do it again but with a different person. I don't think we were well matched, personality wise. I really enjoyed the class and learned a ton, however.

So I would advise you to ask tons of questions about what the doula will actually do and whether that will line up with what you want/expect.
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Old 06-28-2017, 07:57 AM   #3
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Re: Doula?

Thank you! I'm meeting with one next week so we'll see how I feel afterwards. I appreciate the input!
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Old 06-28-2017, 08:20 AM   #4
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Re: Doula?

I didn't, but I also had a very supportive husband and I was at a birth center, with nurse midwives. If at a hospital without a husband that will encourage natural child birth for me, if I can't, I would strongly consider it personally.
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Old 06-28-2017, 09:04 AM   #5
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Re: Doula?

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Originally Posted by Pixi6s View Post
I didn't, but I also had a very supportive husband and I was at a birth center, with nurse midwives. If at a hospital without a husband that will encourage natural child birth for me, if I can't, I would strongly consider it personally.
I am using midwives rather than an OB but I'm planning to birth in the hospital. My husband is great and he supports whatever I choose for our birth but I think he doesn't really understand why I want to do it naturally and I'm having a hard time explaining it to him. In his mind I think it seems like I'm just going to go through unnecessary pain when I could just get the epidural like everyone else basically. Also this is our first child together so I really have no idea how he'll be during labor and everything. I think it would really be helpful to have the doula there to help me cope with the labor physically while he can support me emotionally.
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Old 06-28-2017, 09:51 AM   #6
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Re: Doula?

I have not used a doula but my best births have been with the help of my husband AND supportive caregivers. My first birth I had a doctor who had a system that worked, he thought, and that was how he did things, so when I told him I wanted a natural birth he basically blew it off completely. My second was with a doctor who was supportive of my choices but I didn't have a lot of help during the delivery (busy nurses, doctor only there at the end) and I didn't know anything...I think a doula would have been very helpful for both of those births (though she would have driven my first Dr crazy). My third birth I had an amazing L & D nurse who basically filled that role (she asked how I wanted it to go, and when I said I wanted to do it naturally, she said, "Okay, I'm going to help you" and she did. It was awesome.) and then I had the last two at home with an amazing midwife who filled that role too. I think it is so helpful to have someone with you who knows what birth looks like and how to help it go well, especially when you've never experienced it before. Midwives, in my experience, are better at that than doctors, and will stay will you through the whole process. But if you aren't sure you'll get that support from your midwives then a doula might be a good idea. I wish I would have had one at least for my second. I ended up getting an epidural right at the end (when I was in transition already, not a good experience) because I didn't realize I was almost done, I just didn't know what to expect or where I was in the process, and I think having someone with me who knew something would have been so helpful.
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Old 06-28-2017, 10:32 AM   #7
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Re: Doula?

I agree with BRXB, if you know what to expect and have someone there to remind you of what's going on, it's much easier to deal with.

I had my third naturally, with no medicine, and I was begging for an epidural at the end. My poor husband (who was very supportive, but scared out of his mind) tried to tell me that's not what I wanted. My doula stepped in, got down in my ear and more forcefully reminded me of what I wanted and that I was in transition and it was almost over. So, for that, I was super glad to have her.

P.S. I don't mean to scare you by saying I was begging for the epidural.... I was induced with Pitocin, and it was nothing like natural contractions.
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Old 06-28-2017, 10:36 AM   #8
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Re: Doula?

I know what you're saying. My family tends to have quick easy labors for the most part and I'm going to try everything to not be induced so I'm hoping it won't be too bad but there is that part of me that's terrified that I'll get past the point of no return and then wish I would've gotten the epidural. I know that a doula would be so helpful to me and I want to have one so badly but we are really trying to cut our expenses right now and I know my husband is going to freak when I bring this up. Maybe I should just talk to my midwives in detail about what I want and hope that they will be enough support.
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Old 06-28-2017, 10:39 AM   #9
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Re: Doula?

Quote:
Originally Posted by amdafforn16 View Post
I know what you're saying. My family tends to have quick easy labors for the most part and I'm going to try everything to not be induced so I'm hoping it won't be too bad but there is that part of me that's terrified that I'll get past the point of no return and then wish I would've gotten the epidural. I know that a doula would be so helpful to me and I want to have one so badly but we are really trying to cut our expenses right now and I know my husband is going to freak when I bring this up. Maybe I should just talk to my midwives in detail about what I want and hope that they will be enough support.


That sounds like a good place to start!
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Old 06-28-2017, 11:03 AM   #10
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Re: Doula?

Depending on your insurance, an epidural can be a lot more expensive than a doula (it cost over a thousand dollars with insurance for the epidural I got with my first). So having a doula can actually save you money in that case. With Medicare, it's not coming out of pocket anyway, so it wouldn't...but with regular insurance every extra procedure comes with its own price tag. But I agree that if you have supportive midwives that could be enough.
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