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Old 08-29-2017, 03:19 PM   #1
sixbynine
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crying during EC/Bowel movements?

Hi,
I've been attempting EC since birth with my 6 week old.
I've stopped a few times as it seemed to be distressing him more than anything (he HATED being unclothed for the first couple weeks, despite it being the middle of summer the removal of any clothing resulted in hysterical crying)
I eased him into being naked a bit at time and once he was happy with his butt flapping about reintroduced the potty.

By and large it's working pretty well, I tend to catch his second pee upon removal of nappy in the potty and the last week or so I've caught the odd poop, yesterday all of his poops were in the potty and today about half (he stayed with his grandma for a bit whilst I ran some errands and it was easier to let her just deal with a dirty nappy)

The reason I say 'by and large' is that he DOES go in the potty BUT he cries the entire time, sometimes to the point of purple faced silence. He poops (in a nappy) whilst feeding no problem. My husband thought perhaps he just didn't like the potty but the last few days so long as he's not actively pooping (or it hadn't just been to long and now he's fed up) he sits on it fairly happily - even fell asleep once!

But every single bowel movement (with the exception of those done whilst feeding/sleeping/being burped) seems like absolute agony. We reduced some of the fuss and difficultly going by switching to anti-colic bottles but - to me - it seems like the act of toileting is distressing to him, like stomach pains??

My question is basically has any one else experienced this whilst attempting to EC or potty train?
Should I persevere through the crying whilst he adjusts to the new way of toileting or am I just creating a traumatic association with the potty for him that's going to cause problems in the future (not the mention spending large amounts of my day deliberately upsetting an otherwise super happy baby)

I've got a health visitor check Thursday and our 6 week Dr appointment on Friday so I'll ask about why his bowel movements seem so painful and distressing to him (the other day he cried for almost an hour straight no matter what I did with him(nappy, no nappy, cuddling, feeding, laying down, sitting up, over potty, over nappy etc) before eventually almost exploding with this liquid orange poop followed almost right away by a 'normal' soft mustard yellow one, then he went right to sleep) but I feel like explaining the EC is just going to met with confusion and possibly blamed for the crying whilst toileting.

If the crying is just him adjusting, any tips on helping ease him into it?

thanks

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Old 08-29-2017, 03:23 PM   #2
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Re: crying during EC/Bowel movements?

Have you tried holding him while he goes? Since he's so young, you can hold him with his back against you, holding under his thighs with his knees higher than his bum, and let him poop into the sink (poop is water-soluble at this point so it doesn't hurt anything). Sometimes that position can help encourage bowel movements and relieve pressure from gas or whatever. Like squatting for an older kid. Does that make sense?
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Old 08-29-2017, 03:58 PM   #3
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Re: crying during EC/Bowel movements?

Yup, that's my go to position as it stops him kicking the potty over and sending pee everywhere!

Now he's a little bigger and holds his head up pretty well I tend to cradle with my left arm and hold the left leg under the thigh and then I can hold onto his right leg with my right arm and bicycle them gently, or let go and grab a wipe/nappy/his hand.

It DOES seem to help him go compared to when he's laying down (and during the hour long debacle the other night the only position he went in was held up in a squat position) but it doesn't help the crying

He doesn't seem bothered whether he's hovered over a nappy, water proof sheet, the potty itself or actually sat on the potty (it's a little baby bjorn one, and he's a fairly hefty 6 week old so his butt doesn't disappear into the hole ) he just cries until he poops, then he settles for a bit before crying again some more - sometimes it's 'more poop' crying and he'll quiet down when he goes again other times it's 'done now' crying and he quiets down when I dress him again. It's pretty hard to tell the difference though!

We have a history of IBS in the family and my mum wondered if that was something to keep an eye on, but I didn't think it would 'present' this young??
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Old 08-29-2017, 06:17 PM   #4
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Re: crying during EC/Bowel movements?

Oh, that's interesting. I don't know! Another thought: is he hungry at the time? I had a baby who WOULD NOT go potty until after she had nursed (or during) - it made her furious that I even tried to take her to go potty first. If that is the case, then you could possibly hold a bowl or something under him while he nurses, instead of having him go potty first. It sounds to me like you are doing everything right, so I am just throwing ideas out, but that would be something else to consider. Also, is he okay when he's pooping in a diaper? Or does he fuss then too? Because if he cries whenever he poops no matter what, I would think that would be something to bring up with the doctor. And if you don't feel comfortable explaining EC, just leave that out. If it doesn't make a difference in whether he is fussing or not, that is.
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Old 08-30-2017, 07:31 AM   #5
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Re: crying during EC/Bowel movements?

He used to refuse to eat unless he was changed, but at about 4 weeks he started prioritising hunger over cleanliness so since then we've been feeding first changing after (also saved us a bunch of nappies since he'd always go after feeding as well!)

I'm actually just leaving him in his nappy today to see what he's like pooping 'on his own' there is fussing and a bit of whinging, usual grunting/weird faces with a bit of crying. But nothing like the potty episodes.

He also started staring balefully up at me last night like he didn't understand why I was being so mean to him while he pooped - that was worse than the crying!

I've got the Dr in the next couple days so I'll mention it and just see what they say.

If the crying is just not liking the different feeling of going without a nappy then I don't know whether to leave it for a week and try again, or just push through until he adjusts?
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Old 09-18-2017, 04:44 AM   #6
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Re: crying during EC/Bowel movements?

How did it go when discussing with the doctor? We're they resistant to EC?

I wonder if it's something of it not being immediate relief with the poop. If you think about it an exposed bum could be an ucomfortable feeling too. I wonder if keeping nappy on but opened and positioning and then waiting right for the cue before removing would help.
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Old 09-19-2017, 02:56 PM   #7
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Re: crying during EC/Bowel movements?

Didn't bother explaining EC to the Dr. But she did say that it's normal for babies to take some time to get used to the sensation of pooping, and since we moved from mix feeding to formula only he had to adjust again and it took a bit longer. She said it should be fine by about 8 weeks, and he's just gone nine weeks and we've pottying pretty well for a couple weeks now.

I took a break for a couple days, TBF we were out and about a lot anyway so it wasn't practical.

Started up again and he poops like a good boy now potty doesn't phase him, his schedule is all over the place but I'm starting to get pretty good at recognising his cues so I whip the nappy off and sit him on the pot, it can take a while of grunting and straining but he get's there in the end.

We've had a couple of crying episodes since then but they've been linked to poop with an almost clear liquid consitency, which isn't true diarrhea but looks like it involved some amount of discomfort in passing so I'm putting the fussing down to an icky tummy these days.

We switched over to cloth nappies a few weeks ago as well, and I think the poop feels worse on his butt so he's starting to associate going on the potty with not getting poop all up in his business and is much happier to play ball XD
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