How to be a friend?

[DelicateFlower]

Hi ladies,
Do you have any ideas for thoughtful things to do for a friend who's had miscarriages? I was able to spend some much-needed time just listening to her, but now I'd like to give her something that would let her know someone's thinking about her. Maybe give her a custom bracelet?

[lauraz76]

As someone who's had several losses, having someone to listen to you is so important. It helps just to get it all out. She is lucky to have a sweet friend like you. After my second miscarriage, I got a delivery box one day and I had no idea what it was. I opened it and found a large bottle of froofy body wash. I started crying as I read the note - my sister in law had sent me some of her favorite kind of body wash to pamper myself with in the shower . It was a nice surprise to get a package, and it did make me feel special. So maybe some kind of body wash, lotion, etc. for her.

[am_ryan21]

Originally Posted by lauraz76 As someone who's had several losses, having someone to listen to you is so important. It helps just to get it all out. She is lucky to have a sweet friend like you. After my second miscarriage, I got a delivery box one day and I had no idea what it was. I opened it and found a large bottle of froofy body wash. I started crying as I read the note - my sister in law had sent me some of her favorite kind of body wash to pamper myself with in the shower . It was a nice surprise to get a package, and it did make me feel special. So maybe some kind of body wash, lotion, etc. for her.

I agree after my losses I really just needed someone to talk to. Does she have any other children? If so offer to take them for a day so she can have alone time with her dh or just time by herself. Also if you decide to do jewelry check out tmy237's WAHM thread she has some really nice personalized necklaces and things. After my losses I had a bracelet made that said "All our hopes and dreams now carried on butterfly wings"

[s2grace]

I like the pamper yourself idea. Everyone is different but after my miscarriages I would have loved that. A gift card for coffee or a pedicure. After having our daughter who passed away we appreciated gc's I received some beautiful jewelry. We got a beautiful pink peony bush, a garden butterfly ornament, some books. My favorites were the outside stuff and jewelry. Mine were from Lisa Leonard and the vintage pearl.

[ardeur]

Listening to her or taking her out for coffee or meals is a wonderful thing. Following up quickly on your plans to go out -- not being flaky. Sending cards with a heart-felt note inside. All of these gestures were extremely touching to me.

DH is the only person I've had to talk to and I am so thankful that he makes time and listens to me. I have one friend who asked if we could meet for coffee or dinner. I heartily accepted her offer and told her my availability. She didn't get back to me until three weeks later, but only to say that she won't be available at all, and that she hopes to see me once in a while at church (they rarely attend). That was SO hurtful! I wish she hadn't offered to go out with me in the first place. It really seemed like the only reason she offered was to look good on paper, but she never had any intention of following through. I would so much rather be ignored.