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Old 04-04-2016, 11:36 AM   #11
carlyq12
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Re: MIL issues

The issue is I live in Canada (very very liberal)... I noticed many of you are from the deep south.. my husband and I love the south as you seem to have more traditional values and more parental rights... Canada is so close to Sweden we have to be so careful and cannot just cut ties with her.... we are members of hslda that's a great idea as well...

Thank you everyone for the advice! I appreciate it!

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Old 04-08-2016, 07:44 PM   #12
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Re: MIL issues

I don't understand--does Canada recognize Grandparent's rights? Here in the USA Grandparents have no legal rights to their grandchildren. I know Canada is one of the friendlier countries in regards to homeschooling--isn't it specifically protected under a declaration of human rights or something? I can't imagine that a religious upbringing is frowned upon.

I know we make a ton of jokes about how polite Canadians are, but--seriously--in this situation is it mandated somehow?
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Old 05-04-2016, 01:13 PM   #13
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Re: MIL issues

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Originally Posted by NewMommy6111 View Post
Join HSLDA and you will automatically have legal counsel should the problem you're anticipating arise. My mother is very disrespectful as well. It makes things hard for no good reason, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with that.
I whole-heartedly agree! My hubby would have no problem cutting someone like that out of our lives, but I might. But if she's that toxic and harmful, then there's no benefit to KEEPING her in your lives. Not for your husbands sake and not for your children's sake. She can give you her opinion, but she has absolutely no right telling you how to raise your children and how to educate your children. HLSDA will give GREAT advice and counsel to counter any attacks MIL makes on your family.
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Old 07-03-2016, 06:35 PM   #14
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Re: MIL issues

I'm not sure that I understand what all the fuss is about.
If your kids have a relationship with your MIL, are they in danger? That's the number 1 priority. If they aren't in actual danger, I say you find a way to love this woman and give her access to her grandkids. They will have an opportunity to reach her for Christ in a way that you can not.
Also, if there are no strings attached to these gifts, what's wrong with her giving them? These are her grandchildren, if it's not harmful to them, then let them enjoy their gifts.
And of course she's going to talk to your mother about her disapproval, that's what non-Christians do. I think showing your kids the ability to love difficult people through Christ's work in you is far more powerful than cutting her off (again, assuming she's not actually dangerous).
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Old 07-05-2016, 12:35 PM   #15
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She did state in her OP that the woman is dangerous.
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Old 07-19-2016, 12:21 AM   #16
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Re: MIL issues

Already great advice.

just to reiterate what Stasia said in reference to gifts - my love language is gift giving. It's built into me to constantly be finding things that would make people I love happy.

so I would work on letting that go. If her love language is gift giving, then try to understand that aspect of her personality. So many people who do not have that love language misunderstand it as an attempt to buy love, but it's not. It puts an immeasurable amount of joy into my heart to see people receive from me.

as for the rest, you've already gotten great advice said eloquently enough.

Best of luck to you!
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Old 08-21-2016, 10:58 AM   #17
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Re: MIL issues

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She did state in her OP that the woman is dangerous.
She said her MIL is dangerous because she likes to sue people. That's not a dangerous person. It's more likely to be an intimidating person.....and intimidation is not reason enough to cut off the grandkids.
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Old 08-21-2016, 11:02 AM   #18
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Re: MIL issues

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She said her MIL is dangerous because she likes to sue people. That's not a dangerous person. It's more likely to be an intimidating person.....and intimidation is not reason enough to cut off the grandkids.
That might not be a good enough reason for you. But everyone has their own opinion. When you threaten to cause issues that can possibly involve children being taken from normal loving homes then there is an issue. And I think most people here would agree.
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Old 08-21-2016, 01:48 PM   #19
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Re: MIL issues

I live in Canada. I don't understand how living in Canada makes it so you can't cut a toxic relative out of your life. If you're in Ontario you have full rights to homeschool however you want. I wouldn't let someone in my home who I was worried about trying to take my kids away. having her around more makes it more dangerous because she can claim she saw things. If she hasn't been in your lives or home then she can't twist things she sees and makes up stories as easily.
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Old 08-22-2016, 11:20 AM   #20
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Re: MIL issues

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Originally Posted by chandni3 View Post
I live in Canada. I don't understand how living in Canada makes it so you can't cut a toxic relative out of your life. If you're in Ontario you have full rights to homeschool however you want. I wouldn't let someone in my home who I was worried about trying to take my kids away. having her around more makes it more dangerous because she can claim she saw things. If she hasn't been in your lives or home then she can't twist things she sees and makes up stories as easily.
The problem with living in Canada (Ontario) is our "CAS" is known for believing "every false allegation" and you as a parent have no rights to disprove it. So a toxic MIL could make a false allegation against you if you choose to cut her out of your life. That's my main concern.
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