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Old 10-22-2012, 08:38 PM   #11
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Re: Picky Eater- am I being too hard on her?

Originally Posted by *KaiMom* View Post
I'm not a short order cook, my kids eat what we eat or they don't eat. You'd be surprised some of the things my kids LOVE just because they tried it because they were hungry.
We are similar. My kids eat what we eat from the day they begin to eat solids. If they do not want what I eat then they can sit at the dinner table and participate in the conversation. My kids always get an afternoon snack around 4-5 so I am not too worried about them not eating dinner. I am a big believer in eating when you are hungry and saying no when you are not, if they tell me they are not hungry then that's fine.
Oh and for the record, one of my kids went to bed with out dinner once for screaming at the dinner table after being asked not to. She ate at 5pm so straight to bed with no dinner was not a horrible thing to do.
In your situation I would tell her that you will put the sauces on the side if it is possible (I wouldn't do it for crockpot dinners) and she can choose to eat it or not. At the age of 6 I would put food in the fridge and shelf in a cabinet. Put her name on it. She can go anytime to eat something from her place in the fridge or shelf but you will not make something too different for her. Plain and simple!


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Old 10-22-2012, 09:25 PM   #12
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After 3 years of feeding therapy with DS...

3 items on the plate. 1 meat, 1 veggie, 1 starch. All sauces on the side.

1 of those 3 should be something you know kiddo will eat. 1 should be a new food. 1 should be a middle of the road kinda thing.

There is a concept called Food Chaining. It really works. Try Google-ing it.

The table should never be a battle, it sets kids up for eating issues later in life. You can jolly kids into eating things, but to a picky eater, the table is stressful, and stress breeds aversion. Keep it light and not a power struggle, which can be hard sometimes. Food is one of the only things kids have control over.
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Old 10-22-2012, 09:36 PM   #13
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I cook one meal, NO special meals for anyone. We all eat the same thing. I don't expect them to clean their plates, they do have to at least taste everything. If they don't eat their dinner I don't argue about it, they just get nothing but water the rest of the night. No snacks whatsoever.

I just can't allow picky eating with 8 kids. They will eventually eat and learn they can't control me through being picky with food.

ETA. My kids also have to sit with us until we are done at the table then asks be excused before getting up.

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Last edited by 7 for now; 10-22-2012 at 09:39 PM.
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Old 10-22-2012, 09:44 PM   #14
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I just took a class and while I don't agree, their big push was "parents provide, kids decide" what they eat. So if you provide pasta, meatballs and veggies but they only want pasta and meatballs than that's what they want. I personally want my kids to try everything. I don't serve nasty food, everyone else at the table likes it, it's your choice not to eat it. I was told by my 2 (almost 3) year old DC guy he did *NOT* want pears with his lunch today but when I gave him his "fruit" he loved it and asked for more. LOL He didn't want pears because that's what the baby ate. :-) My kids have all been good eaters. My 8yr old is the worst, doesn't like certain veggies, rice, certain chicken with sauce dishes. My 10yr old doesn't like peanut butter!?!?! Oh wait... Unless its covered in chocolate <eyeroll> My 6yr old is probably the BEST eater I have. Loves everything! He even eats things I can't stand! Hahah! Loves sushi, loves mushrooms, loves kippered snacks (dh's snack not me! Ewwwww!!) and will try anything once! My twins are good eaters too but have started becoming unhealthy eaters. They pick something and want to eat every last one we have. They ate 2,000 calories each in Keebler fudge sandwich crackers in 36hrs.
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:19 AM   #15
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My 4 year old will only eat hotdogs, pizza and chicken nuggets consistently. Since that will not be his main diet, he goes without. He eats breakfast, lunch and 2 snacks a day. He will refuse to eat things I know he likes. He will either eat what I make or not at all. Hasn't hurt him yet.
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Old 10-23-2012, 06:09 AM   #16
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Re: Picky Eater- am I being too hard on her?

my kids eat what is served or don't eat. My 6 yo dd will sometimes choose not to eat it and will go to bed without eating. She will not starve until morning. It is a good reminder the next night to eat. I think it is really nice of you to make her a plate in a way that you know she would normally eat it. There are times I make something else for my kids when I know I am making something they really don't like.
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Old 10-23-2012, 06:22 AM   #17
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Re: Picky Eater- am I being too hard on her?

Dd1 has texture issues - certain textures make her puke. I won't force her to eat what we're eating if I know she can't handle te texture (but we encourage her to try small bites of new stuff or stuff she hasn't tried in awhile). She can't have her food mixed - just can't handle it. So like OP I just pull stuff out before mixing casserloes or skillets. I keep sauces off stuff (they change the textire of things). If she won't eat what I know she likes what's on her plate - that is on her. I won't make more for her. If I'm making something I know she doesn't like I make her PB&J. The other kids sometimes follow her lead but sometimes they like it they was I make it better than plain and all pulled apart.

OP, I think you're doing fine. I bet your dd gets better eventually. When dd1 was 7 she finally traid spaghetti with sauce on it and likes that now - first time for eating non plain noodles in years. She goes to visit grandma in the summer for a week and they work on finding 1 new food to eat during that week. She isn't as flexible for me but it is a fun game at Grammy's house.
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Old 10-23-2012, 07:18 AM   #18
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Dd1(7) has some foods she doesnt wont together. If at all possible I leave her some seperate. So she's eating what we are just not the way we are. If that isnt good enough for her that night for 1 reason or another then tough cookies. She can eat or go hungry-I dont really care. Since she knows Im not making anything else after 10-15mins of pushing the food around she usually eats it lol Now if its something I know they dont like(for ex shrimp) then I dont have a problem making them chicken(which is their fav protein) but if they refuse even that then they are sol until breakfast.
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Old 10-23-2012, 08:24 AM   #19
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Re: Picky Eater- am I being too hard on her?

Picky eating can go along side disorders, and many people (kids and adults) have food aversions, which many think is picky eating. We do not make food a battle and I'd never let my kids go to bed without eating supper. ds1 can be picky as he has ADHD and SPD. If he doesn't want what I've made then I make him his default PB sandwich with a yogurt and some fruit. He use to be really picky and now he eats most foods and I rarely have to make the default.

I agree with a PP who said to do something she likes, something in the middle and something new. It typically takes kids awhile to like the new thing, and this could just be a phase. As long as she's getting her daily nutrition I wouldn't worry too much about her pickyness.
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Old 10-23-2012, 09:06 AM   #20
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Re: Picky Eater- am I being too hard on her?

Dd (6) is also picky about food being mixed together. We have no problem simply plating her food first if things can be easily separated. Last night, for example, we had fettucini with broccoli and chicken. She had her three items separately, and then we mixed the broccoli and chicken into the fettucini before serving ourselves. If it's something like stir-fry that can't be easily separated, she just gets it as we get it.

We are happy to let her get an extra piece of fruit, a yogurt, or a slice of whole grain bread if she doesn't like what's being served; I don't want her to go to bed hungry. However, she is pretty good about trying stuff. There are a lot of things she doesn't like, but if she's willing to taste it, that seems sufficient to me. I had a LOT of food aversions as a kid, and I know how horrible it is to try to choke down something that is literally making you gag.

Particularly with a girl, we also want to be very cautious about not turning food choices into a battle.
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