Am I wrong?

[*Peanut*]

My DH and I are having a bit of a disagreement and I guess I'm just looking for some opinions....

My sister had a baby on the 13th of July. She's teeny tiny and still in the nicu. My sister pumps about 2 oz a day due to her high stress and fatigue. The nurses have said the baby does way better when she gets breast milk, but my sister can't pump enough right now. (The baby was getting about 10 oz a day before her supply went down.)

I'm pumping for my LO, who is a hearty, healthy 4 mo old. My LO also has special formula for his reflux. So the obvious solution IMO is to pump for my niece and have my LO drink more formula in the meantime. I won't be able to produce enough for both, but I can produce enough for a NB so she doesn't have to drink formula. Also, the hospital only has one type of formula...that gross brown similac and if you the babies don't do well on it, too bad.

My DH says I should keep my BM for our baby, but I think it's more important that my sisters baby in the nicu get it. If our baby gets sick or something I guess we can reevaluate what we should do, but he's healthy and happy right now. I'm planning on giving her my breast milk starting tomorrow, no matter what he says. Am I wrong? WWYD?

Oh yeah, the milk sharing would just be until she's stabilized and doing better - so for a few weeks.

[kelpie169]

I would say the NB would benefit more. However it isn't something I think you and your husband should be arguing about. Possibly sit and calmly explain your rationale, present him with any research you can and see why happens. Worse comes to worse he just isn't comfortable with it-which then you can find out why. Maybe it's a reason you haven't thought of and he just can't communicate it without lots of prodding. If nothing else maybe you can compromise. Half of the pumped milk to yours and half to newbie until things stabilize for everyone.

[WilliamsMama]

I think what you want to do is very honorable. I tend to take your side, though I do see how your husband is viewing it. In the long run, the poor little NB would probably benefit more from having breast milk.

I've always admired moms who are able to give to others in this way.

[Only]

I see your point and agree with you. I would likely do the same in your position.

[LaughingPeaMama]

Maybe he thinks you are planning on "weaning"
Your child permanently? Present him with a plan of how many ounces a day you will provide to your niece for how many weeks and get your sister some domperidone ASAP!

[AnimalHouse]

I don't think either of you are wrong, and it's one of those situations where it's hard for me to "pick sides". On one hand, I think what you're offering to do for your niece is so generous and wonderful... and obviously, she would benefit much more (medically speaking) from breastmilk. Of course, on the other hand, I can see why your husband wants to provide the best for your son first, KWIM?

I'm also curious as to why you say you won't produce enough for both babies? I only ask because I exclusively pumped for DS2, and was also able to donate milk to another baby as well... I produced enough for both of them, as well as some leftover each day to put in my freezer (pumped for DS2 for almost 16 months, and he received my frozen milk for almost 21 months, even after I donated!). Unless you're having supply issues yourself, it's basic supply-and-demand... pump more, produce more.

That said, I would try to pump for both of them, but I would also urge your sister to see a LC or even a doctor about increasing her supply... if pumping more, drinking more water, etc doesn't work, maybe she can try Reglan or Domperidone?

[*Peanut*]

Thanks for the input.

I have IGT and my sister has pcos. So with some of her pregnancies she makes a ton of milk and sometimes she makes very little. I always make very little, so to make even a moderate amount I have to drink tons of water, take floridix and domperidone, and eat oatmeal every day. I think I'm at my max output and even with more pumping I make the same amount by the end of the day.

[cacasey1981]

Could she get donor milk covered by her ins? Have either of you looked into other milksharing sites?