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Old 02-17-2013, 09:52 PM   #51
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Old 02-19-2013, 09:15 AM   #52
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Re: Drinking in your family

I'm sorry mama. We are struggling with this a bit too right now. My hubby feels entitled to drink after work. He doesn't set out to get drunk, but he doesn't count what he's drinking, so it's always "Just one more." He used to get defensive, but we had an episode recently where he got drunk when he was supposed to be watching our son. Thankfully I was home and our son was asleep most of the time, but that was completely unacceptable to me and I really let him have it. It took him doing something that was clearly out of line to acknowledge that alcohol was a problem. He hasn't had anything to drink all February, and he says he doesn't miss it. He's also been to a few meetings with the group Smart Recovery.

I highly recommend Smart Recovery, since it sounds like your hubby isn't willing to quit drinking completely or call himself an alcoholic. Smart Recovery isn't as all-or-nothing as AA, and they don't ask people to label themselves as addicted or diseased. They focus on behaviors and finding balance. My FIL has failed AA several times, and we've read all the literature and know it would not be a good fit for our family right now. Smart Recovery is a national program, so if you're in a decent sized city there's probably a meeting nearby.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:09 PM   #53
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Re: Drinking in your family

I agree with the PPs here. Definitely not normal. One way to approach it that might help limit the drinking (without him getting angry and changing subjects) is try to schedule tings to do together as a family. Or see if someone can watch your DD and you two go on a date. Just bring it up as a "Let's go out and do something instead of being stuck around the house all of the time." Maybe he'll enjoy it and realize "Hey I have a wife who respects my desire to go out and do stuff and an amazing little girl.... maybe I should be a dad for her." idk, just a thought. I would definitely want him to seek help but until he decides to do so himself I don't see that happening... :hug:
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