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Old 10-15-2012, 01:58 PM   #61
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Re: Am I right to tell him no on claiming ?

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I cancelled child support when he came to me asking for help bc he was $1300 behind .... �� bad move I know .... This way the same time he asked for joint custody ( I had full physical and legal custody ) I won't get into that because it's a mess of lies and does tick me off ... Another bad move on my part .
How does one cancel child support?

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He isn't paying any support at all :-/ I understood why he couldn't take my Ds1 50/50 due to the military and being stationed 4 hours away .... Off topic I know but it makes me wonder a lot why he pushed for joint custody and felt the need to lie to get it when he wouldn't be able to take him 50/50 . I go back and forth with this . I am a people pleaser and either way someone's going to be mad .
Here's what I'm getting from your posts. You had physical and legal custody of your child. Father had visitation rights and was required to pay child support. You and father agree to alternate claiming child on taxes.

Father fell behind in paying child support and you felt sorry for him, so you "cancelled" it. Father then pushed for joint custody and you granted it. I am assuming you and he actually filed and made the change official in the eyes of the state.

Father did take him for 50% of the time when he was in town and available to do so. When he was unable to do so, instead of hiring a sitter or sending him to grandma's, he gave you first priority. You did not send your child to stay with him in order to make up for time that was lost due to being out of town. This is technically something that could be used against you.

So, on paper, you and your ex share custody 50/50. Ex isn't obligated to pay child support. You haven't actually provided your ex with an opportunity to make up lost time. (I don't know that I agree that that would be the right thing to do anyway, but it is what it is.) Now you want to break a verbal agreement two years in a row. (I thought you mentioned last year was his year and you claimed him as well.)

I personally think you have to tell your DH to suck it up and do the right thing already. Just because your ex has been a schmuck doesn't mean you get to be. Don't let someone else make you stoop below your own level.

I might be tempted to mention to your ex that you are doing this with the expectation that he will go along with putting legal and physical custody back on you. In reality this is what he has done, but it needs to be made known to the state so it doesn't come back to bite you in the butt later. This business of shirking all child support duties, changing custody to 50/50, and then not parenting 50% of the time feels like a slimey way to get out of financial obligations to his child.

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Old 10-15-2012, 02:14 PM   #62
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If he has not supported his child, he does not get a tax break. That is not how it works. Claiming a dependent is a tax break, but of you are not supporting said dependent, why does he deserve the break? It is a break to make it easier to support the dependent, not a way to get extra money. Flat out tell him until he has either A: had DS in his care half the year or B: pays child support for at least half the year, he cannot claim him. Your aunt, whom knows all the details, is right to tell you it is illegal. Had he been paying support OR had him 50% of the year, it would be a different story.
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Old 10-15-2012, 02:17 PM   #63
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Re: Am I right to tell him no on claiming ?

So do you share physical custody now?
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:07 PM   #64
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So do you share physical custody now?
Yeah . Now it's shared physical . I looked at our mediation papers I states that we share time as agreed upon but L's primary residence is shared between the both of us
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:33 PM   #65
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So, you are splitting time with ds absolutely equally, which is why he is not paying support, correct? And before he was paying support until he could not because of lack of income, which you agreed to? And your verbal agreement is that you alternate claiming him?

My opinions:
1. If he has ds half the time, he shouldn't pay support.
2. If he missed some payments before he had ds half the time, maybe try to work out a repayment plan. Or offer to forfeit back support for claiming your son this year, and go back to every other year next year.
3. You need to stick to your verbal agreement, which precedent and your current arrangement support.
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:41 PM   #66
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So do you share physical custody now?
Yes , now we do . Since the last week of August it's been a week at a time.... Before that it was every 3.5 days
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:49 PM   #67
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Sounds like u need to trade every other year. Only read OP.
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Old 10-15-2012, 05:27 PM   #68
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Re: Am I right to tell him no on claiming ?

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If my child was in my primary care and I was the one covering a majority of expenses etc, verbal agreement or not, I'd say no.
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Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
he breached the contract first by not taking his child half the time.
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Originally Posted by lensesforeyes View Post
If he has not supported his child, he does not get a tax break. That is not how it works. Claiming a dependent is a tax break, but of you are not supporting said dependent, why does he deserve the break? It is a break to make it easier to support the dependent, not a way to get extra money. Flat out tell him until he has either A: had DS in his care half the year or B: pays child support for at least half the year, he cannot claim him. Your aunt, whom knows all the details, is right to tell you it is illegal. Had he been paying support OR had him 50% of the year, it would be a different story.

I agree with all of this!
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Old 10-15-2012, 06:41 PM   #69
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I think want I want to look more into for this year only since its a funky year is what one mama posted about one claiming L as a dependent and the other for the EIC .DH and I don't qualify for
The EIC so we would want to claim L as a dependent and my ex can claim for the EIC. Does anyone Know more ?
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Old 10-15-2012, 06:55 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kharvey92611
I think want I want to look more into for this year only since its a funky year is what one mama posted about one claiming L as a dependent and the other for the EIC .DH and I don't qualify for
The EIC so we would want to claim L as a dependent and my ex can claim for the EIC. Does anyone Know more ?
Only the parent who had him the majority of the year can claim him for eic.
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