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Old 02-28-2013, 12:14 PM   #31
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

What to do when your family thinks you're nuts; kill them with kindness and grace as another poster wisely suggested.

However, I am always astounded at the stories I hear from other mom's about the negative reactions they get from their own mother's (or mother in laws) who have had their own mothers (or mother in laws) scoff at how they raised us!!! Didn't they learn anything.

Luckily, I have never had anyone criticize my choices. I'm a middle grounder. I think every family that cares about their children and makes choices based upon their love for them is making the right choice.

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Old 02-28-2013, 12:55 PM   #32
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

Ugh. I totally feel for you. Best advice I ever got? In one ear, out the other. Roll your eyes when she's not looking and walk away. You know her old school opinions are just that....OLD SCHOOL. she might need to consider re-do her nursing education if she thinks all that you are doing is wrong.....
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Old 02-28-2013, 11:39 PM   #33
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

Quote:
Originally Posted by abeccarelli View Post
I just have to rant a moment. My family thinks I am crazy. I am constantly getting snarky comments about CDing and the way we raise our kids. Ugh. My dad's wife is a nurse so she knows everything there is to know. Period.

Cloth is not sanitary, it is disgusting.
Bed sharing kills babies.
Babywearing is great, but you have to stop early or you will have attachment issues.
BF is wonderful, but you MUST supplement at 6 months.


Anyone else deal with this garbage?
Yes, I do. I go the opposite way. Instead of trying to rationalize it, I agree with them. Or I go to the complete opposite extreme.

"Cloth is disgusting." "You are right. It is."
"Bedsharing kills babies." "I couldn't agree more."
"Babywearing is great, but you have to stop early" "I'll stop BWing when she leaves for college. By then, her attachment issues should be over with."
"BF in wonderful, but..." "don't worry, I'll wean by her 15th birthday."

With people like that, no amount of research (IME) will change their mind. They are ignorant because they are unwilling to listen.
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Old 03-01-2013, 08:21 AM   #34
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

OMG! I have the same problem except I am a registered nurse. My sister gives me the same kinds of lines as your family says to you. My sister goes as far as saying crap like, "My kids NEVER had their toys all over the house. My kids ALWAYS put their toys away. My kids NEVER acted like yours do. You have to train them and raise them to be that way." She forgets that she wasn't around when her kids were younger. She was working full time and going to school full time. Her In-laws took care of her kids not her. Also she had a playroom for her kids but I don't have a playroom for my kids. I distinctly remember that playroom being a pit all the time when her daughter was two. Expecting my two year old son to pick up all of his toys at the end of everyday is unrealistic. Not to mention my daughter is special needs. Behaviors and meltdowns are just a part of her disorder. But yea her kids are perfect and mine are delinquents.
Hang in there and ignore their dumb comments.
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Old 03-01-2013, 08:41 AM   #35
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

Oh and my sister asked me not to breastfeed (in my own apartment) where her son could see because he was 11 at the time and it would scar him for life just like p***. I was using a nursing cover every time I nursed my son. I was so full of anxiety about nursing in public anyway and her comment made it even worse. I didn't nurse for much longer after that. Did I mention my husband hates my sister?
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Old 03-03-2013, 12:50 AM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greengranny
Well, I look at it like this: I was the first of my siblings to ever bf for any length of time. I was the first to have natural births (and home birth). I was the first to co-sleep, and to home school.

Since I nursed my kiddos I have helped and encouraged all of my nieces with nursing their babies. So my nursing my four (and being a LLL leader didn't hurt) led to my 4 nieces nursing a total of 14 children. They have in turn helped and encouraged their friends.

My dd is tandem nursing her two, and has encouraged several of her friends. My oldest dd is pg and planning to bf (of course, her dh nurses until he was 3 so she'll have very supportive in-laws).

Long story short (okay, it's actually been kinda long), you CAN make a difference. Your actions can influence people in a good way! Stick to your guns!!

Stacey, from iPhone using DS app
Love this! You go green granny!
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Old 03-03-2013, 08:34 AM   #37
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This makes me chuckle. My family and my in-laws are aware that I don't put up with BS and will walk away and not come back around for awhile. And this is without kids. My father called me at 7:30 one morning (after I had gotten NO sleep) because he found out I had asked people not to buy us sposies (I did not ask any one to buy me cd's, or anything else for that matter) He felt the need to yell at me about how ignorant I am, I told him it was my child and my decision and if he didn't like it he could eff off. And then I hung up. I didn't talk to him for a few weeks after that and we're still not back to a "regular" relationship. I do make an effort to be more diplomatic with my in-laws but my mil drive me nuts. She's on board with cd's (she cd'ed both her boys even though sposies were around then) but she's of the era that formula is better then breast milk, baby wearing "spoils" children, babies should be on a feeding schedual (every 4 hours), if they eat more then that you need to add cereal to their bottle. She started putting cereal in DH's bottle at 4 days! I tried to be nice and explain that just like cancer treatments have changed in the 37 years since DH was born so has how we raise our children because we are continuously learning new things through research and such. Still didn't get through, she went to my BIL's girlfriend and basically told her that being a FTM I didn't know what I was talking about, that she's raised 2 kids of her own and being the grandmother she can do whatever she wants. She even asked to be in the delivery room (because she HAS to take the first picture). Aaarrrgggghhhh! After a good vent session with my friend she informed me that I made the same mistake she did.....I married a man with no sisters so my mil does not have a daughter to torture with all the BS. Hahahaha. But I digress, I've stuck to my guns on the stuff that is important to me and think my mil is getting the picture that if she doesn't come around with her attitude we won't be coming around with the baby. There are certain "rules" that are set in stone and other things that I can let slide. I'll pick my battles as they arise I guess.

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Old 03-04-2013, 04:00 PM   #38
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

this post makes me laugh! I am a nurse myself so when things come up at work about vacinations, CD, EBF extended I stand my ground and explain the research I have done. I have never said anything about using family cloth or mamacloth because I don't even want to explain that to a bunch of nurses that are germaphobes. It is differnt at home... I don't have Cdiff, VRE, MRSA or any other resistant organism and we clean each item after use. I also never use bleach except at work because of the chemicals. I said something the other night about my 6 month old having been born at home and I immediately got the post L & D nurse "I could never do that and take that much risk." I gently explained that throughout the pregnancy I was assessed and would have been ruled out if I had any issues, that the MW during labor checks for decelerations ect... It was funny when vacinations came up. I got looked at like I had 3 heads. But an intact penis wasn't so bad.
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Old 03-04-2013, 06:15 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2seth&trey
But an intact penis wasn't so bad.
I live in Canada so most everything medically is covered. I work in the ER but since I'd never been to l&d I figured I'd go on the tour. At the end of the tour the cost of circumcision was outlined. $100 for the doctors fee upfront and $270 billed by the hospital for supplies and such. One of the dads on the tour practically flipped out at the cost and felt they shouldn't have to pay for something that was "necessary". It took everything in me to keep my mouth shut. Luckily the maternity nurse was very diplomatic and gently explained that the Canadian Society of Paediatricians state that it is NOT medically recommended and therefore it's considered cosmetic surgery.
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Old 03-04-2013, 07:07 PM   #40
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Re: What to do when your family thinks you're nuts...

I just HAD to come back to this. I went to my sister's this weekend, and I loved it. They are the supportive side of my family! My younger sister actually told my Dad (who said my DD needed to be eating more food lest breast milk and should be using bottles by now...why I don't know) that she thinks I should breastfeed until DD is at least 2 because studies have shown that it really is the best choice for our kiddos. Then I had to hear about bed sharing...I actually just walked away from that convo because it is one of my buttons.

While we were out to dinner I was feeding DD at the breast and some man was grumbling about how it was disgusting and I should go do that outside so other people could eat. I simply smiled and stated that in AZ my rights are protected by law. If children are welcome in an establishment, then breastfeeding must be as well. I informed him that if he didn't like it, he was welcome to take his meal outside. The owner just giggled, and when she came by later said "you know sweetie, you ought to just take the cover off and just scare him on outta here." She made my day, just made it completely.
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