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Old 10-05-2008, 08:46 PM   #11
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

Sounds like a good plan to me! I would start with dropping a feeding at a time maybe start with the morning one.

My baby is a biter also but hasn't gotten his top teeth yet so i guess we'll see what happens then. This last time i pulled him into my breast and it scared the poop out of him and he freaked out so hopefully that was the last!

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Old 10-06-2008, 07:10 PM   #12
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

When baby bites, put her down. She can only bite when she's not actively nursing. She'll figure out if she wants to nurse, she has to not bite. And you keep doing it until she gets it. It may take quite a number of times to get through to her but really, it's just a phase that goes away. I've been doing this for 33 months now and have gone through quite a few phases with her including her current "demanding phase" and have made it through it all including 14-15 of intense pain from nursing until her mouth grew big enough to latch on right and I mean INTENSE nursing pain, bad enough that I took ibuprofen around the clock those 14-15 weeks, sometimes with Tylenol.

Yeah, nursing can be hard and it can be not fun but my daughter is instantly calmed by nursing and goes to sleep easier with nursing (though she can fall asleep without it too). When she was 2 1/2, we went to see fireworks for the Fourth of July and she FREAKED. I nursed right then and there avoided her screaming her head off for the 45 minute show. I'll be honest, I cannot imagine trying to get through the trials of raising a toddler WITHOUT nursing. I feel sorry for parents who do not have nursing in their arsenal, I really do. I understand that it is a choice and for the most part, I respect that but I think you need to really take a look at what you would gain AND lose by weaning. You may just lose more than you think.

Ultimately, it is up to you but I'll be honest, I'm for child-led weaning and therefore, really do not have much advice to give you. Yes, I did consider weaning because of the biting, at ONE YEAR but it passed, she stopped biting and we moved on. That will more likely than not, happen for you too if you just give it a little time.

As for wearing flattering bras and things like that, I'll be honest, I don't get that at all because why do we need to wear things that flatter our bodies if we're already married? Seems odd to me.

If the night nursing is really wearing you down, you can always try to pump a bottle or two for that time. I did do that when my daughter was an infant during those trying weeks because the pain was so hard for me. Another thing we did was my husband would use an exercise ball and bounce on it gently while holding her. It was a lifesaver as she often times fell asleep that way. It mimics mom walking back when baby was in the womb.

Good luck and hopefully you don't find this to be too snarky, I'm merely offering support for breastfeeding, weaning is a totally foreign concept for me at this point though I imagine it will happen some day.
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Old 10-06-2008, 08:39 PM   #13
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

No, not snarky at all. Actually, this is exactly the kind of constructive advice I was hoping to get. IRL, all I hear is "well it is kind of time for her to wean anyway". I firmly do not believe that it is time for my daughter to stop having my milk. Heck . . . my 2 year old takes it in a sippy. No one in my family knows we do that, and I'm sure they'd be horrified if they did.

I think I needed to be told that there might be more that I'll regret about stopping the nursing than I think. I guess I have to admit that I am far from ready to make this decision. On the plus side, she took two whole sippies (one of juice and one of BM) today with very little help from me, AND we nursed 3 times with no biting.

I want to wear flattering bras because (whether it's right or wrong) I am more confident the better I look. I'm also on the busty side, and I definitely get more support from a formed cup, underwire type bra. Unfortunately, those kinds of bras are kind of like Fort Knox when it comes to easy, discreet boob removal!
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Old 10-06-2008, 09:37 PM   #14
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

Oh, I hear you, I heard all kinds of pro-weaning advice when I had all of the issues with my daughter. Even the lactation consultant I was seeing said that maybe I should give up. But my husband was very adamant that I nurse and when I reached a year and had said something about weaning, he told me he wanted me to go until at least two since the benefits are so big. Now, he's starting to say that maybe by sometime next year she should maybe be weaned. I refuse to force her to wean and with the fact that we are leaving the country (and everything she is familiar with), I'm definitely not going to push it. We'll see what happens.

One thing I did cut down on was nursing in public after she hit a year. I was never really comfortable with it. I'm overweight and VERY endowed in front. My nursing bra is an H cup. So, it just never really felt relaxing for me and I was always nervous about attracting the wrong attention. I had gotten new bras this year and the funny thing is is that is when she really wanted to nurse in public more. The night during the fireworks, I actually had to remove my bra. That was fun. Fortunately, it was dark and my sister helped me then my brother passed me a sweater to make sure she was covered if needed. She hid in my shirt the whole time though which was funny. Poor thing was so scared!

It may take some shifting things around and doing what feels comfortable. Natalie does have cups with water in them during the day and she had sippy cups around a year. I don't usually nurse at night and when we moved here she was 10 months old and slept through the night (probably because she had done SO badly at my sister's and that was partly my fault). We didn't really nurse in public after a year making sure to pack things she could eat and have a sippy on hand for her.

It's just getting to that year that can be hard, especially when you do not have support. My family wasn't that supportive either. I have gone longer than ANYONE had even dared to think of nursing. My older sister, the only other one who had nursed, nursed to around 10 months when her son ended up with severe febrile seizures and was sedated for a week. She dried up. She never responded well to the pump either and was only able to pump when her son nursed at the same time. I haven't responded to a pump since Natalie was an infant. I suppose if I really, really tried I could but the only reason I thought of it was for those times when her dad took her to church. I can remember one time he did that and she was gone for HOURS! I was about freaked! lol I can remember a time about eight months or so later when I didn't nurse pretty much the whole day because Natalie was almost two and I was around family who were barely for INFANT breastfeeding much less toddler. She just stayed with her dad the whole day and played at the park.

I will say this when it comes to breastfeeding, the longer you go, the more things will change. There are no set of rules, it all depends on you and your child and to some degree your comfort level. There are a variety of stages and they change all the time. The biting stage is a pain, I will give you that and latches get lazy. It sometimes feels like you constantly have to teach them HOW to latch. I'm not talking really bad pain here (been there, done that from 0-3 months) but just annoying. Patience can definitely be required at times.

I think what is hardest for most moms is that support is hard to find. When I had trouble in the beginning, it took me joining what was an extended breastfeeding group before I got the support I really needed. Then I found more groups as time went on and joining those, I learned more and more and more from other moms. This is how it was way back when and how women got through the trials of nursing but we don't have that anymore because formula feeding became so common place. We're still recovering from that but at least, women these days have the internet and that I think gives more women the chance to succeed at breastfeeding. The one thing that really helped me was finding that ONE mom who said, "yeah, I went through this, just hang in there and you'll be fine by about 15 weeks". Well, by then, I think I was around the 12 week point and she was right, it got better right around that time but all of those who said, "Oh just give up, it won't hurt" etc. did not help at all especially when I knew that more than likely, it would do my daughter more harm than good just based on my history and the issues my niece and nephew both had.

But for sure, if you are not ready to decide, DON'T! My daughter bit me deliberately. I could tell because she would LOOK at me before she did it. It was like she would check and see if I was paying attention and then she would grab my nipple with her teeth and PULL! And I really thought about weaning but she got over it and it was a phase. They do it to see the reaction and for other reasons too but you just set her down like you mean business and I wouldn't even say no. Just set her down. Babies don't understand no really. Removing them from where they are getting into trouble they DO understand! And the less you say about it, I think, the less she'll be inclined to do it. What's the fun if you don't yell or shout but set her on the floor away from you and away from the milk? She'll figure it's not!

Hang in there, it WILL get better! But vent here if you need to because sometimes, that is what moms need, to vent because it's not always easy (especially without support) and get the support that you're not likely to get IRL. Hope this helps!

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Originally Posted by aranel7 View Post
No, not snarky at all. Actually, this is exactly the kind of constructive advice I was hoping to get. IRL, all I hear is "well it is kind of time for her to wean anyway". I firmly do not believe that it is time for my daughter to stop having my milk. Heck . . . my 2 year old takes it in a sippy. No one in my family knows we do that, and I'm sure they'd be horrified if they did.

I think I needed to be told that there might be more that I'll regret about stopping the nursing than I think. I guess I have to admit that I am far from ready to make this decision. On the plus side, she took two whole sippies (one of juice and one of BM) today with very little help from me, AND we nursed 3 times with no biting.

I want to wear flattering bras because (whether it's right or wrong) I am more confident the better I look. I'm also on the busty side, and I definitely get more support from a formed cup, underwire type bra. Unfortunately, those kinds of bras are kind of like Fort Knox when it comes to easy, discreet boob removal!
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Old 10-06-2008, 11:24 PM   #15
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

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Originally Posted by aranel7 View Post
No, not snarky at all. Actually, this is exactly the kind of constructive advice I was hoping to get. IRL, all I hear is "well it is kind of time for her to wean anyway". I firmly do not believe that it is time for my daughter to stop having my milk. Heck . . . my 2 year old takes it in a sippy. No one in my family knows we do that, and I'm sure they'd be horrified if they did.

I think I needed to be told that there might be more that I'll regret about stopping the nursing than I think. I guess I have to admit that I am far from ready to make this decision. On the plus side, she took two whole sippies (one of juice and one of BM) today with very little help from me, AND we nursed 3 times with no biting.

I want to wear flattering bras because (whether it's right or wrong) I am more confident the better I look. I'm also on the busty side, and I definitely get more support from a formed cup, underwire type bra. Unfortunately, those kinds of bras are kind of like Fort Knox when it comes to easy, discreet boob removal!
I will just say: I often wear "flattering" bras. I don't have enough nursing bras and I found that with many of my demi-cut underwire bras I can (fairly easily) pop my boob out of the top to nurse.

I'm totally with ya on the confidence factor (being rather busty, myself.) You don't have sacrifice your self image for the sake of nursing. Most of my real nursing bras are underwire too-- I just really need the support. It has never cause me any problems with blocked ducts or anything
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Old 10-07-2008, 06:36 AM   #16
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

You've gotten some great advice for getting past the biting. I thought I'd quit when my ds was into biting me, but I'm so very thankful that I kept going. I love nursing that now that he's older. It's such a neat relationship. I love that he asks for it now and I love that I can give him some comfort that no one else can provide. I also love that now that he's so very independent and active I can still get in that snuggle/quiet time with him while nursing.
Don't quit if you are not 100% ready to do it. Try some of the ideas these lovely ladies have given you and you just might find the joy in it again.
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Old 10-07-2008, 10:20 AM   #17
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

biting was one of the main reasons why i stopped nursing my oldest dd, it hurt to darn bad! My 4 month old son broke in his bottom two teeth this past weekend and ouch!! I keep pulling him off and say no but he's so young he doesn't have a clue what he's doing-he will not take a bottle either so I'm in it for the long haul-no advise just sara
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Old 10-07-2008, 03:29 PM   #18
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

You have gotten great advice so I have nothing to offer, but I just wanted to say that its perfectly normal for married mamas to want to wear flattering bras, dang it!

Doesn't my husband deserve some pretty boobies in a pretty bra? I can't wait until I can wear cute bras again!!!!
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Old 10-07-2008, 03:46 PM   #19
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

Biting really is a phase. Some kids just get stuck in it longer, unfortunately. My DS2 did his fair share of it, lemme tell you. But he doesn't anymore. If he bit me, I would put him down. Yes, he cried, but that's sort of the point in this situation, you know? You're making the point to them that if they do THAT, the boob goes away.

I definitely can see why you're having the feelings you are and are as frustrated as you are. But it sounds to me like what you need/want to do is to set some boundaries, start some new routines, and buy some new bras! I don't wear nursing bras. I wear bras that I can fold down(think formed cup) to be able to access the breast for him.

You're also nearing the point(12 months) where night weaning is pretty much widely accepted as reasonable. Certainly, you know your daughter and know if she's at a point, developmentally and physically, where she could be night weaned now. If that's the case, you could hand night wakings over to DH and give yourself a break. That's what I did!
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Old 10-07-2008, 05:07 PM   #20
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Re: Biting = the final straw; I want to wean

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Originally Posted by nkintzel View Post
I just wanted to say that its perfectly normal for married mamas to want to wear flattering bras, dang it!

Doesn't my husband deserve some pretty boobies in a pretty bra? I can't wait until I can wear cute bras again!!!!
Well, I only wear a bra when I go out, otherwise the girls are loose so that they are accessible. Not that I'm against cute bras per se but when you are as big busted as I am, finding decent bras is actually more of a pain than anything. You don't find a lot of cute bras in an H cup. Though, I do have to admit, I did see one I thought about getting JUST for hubby. lol But dang something like that would be on I think 5 seconds tops! lol It's like wrapping gifts up in pretty wrapping paper, it'll just get torn off to get to the fun toys inside!
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