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Old 03-23-2013, 11:06 PM   #21
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Re: Transracial Adoption Please help!!!!!

Well just to update this a bit I will say I loved "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla". I think it would be a great read for those wanting to know more about how young children see race and color. (and how they move through that understand as they get older) It is so different than what adults see. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could keep that child like innocence about racial issues. I can say as a half hispanic women I found the development stages really valid. I went through understanding my racial differences much in the same developmental pattern that is described in the book.

I grew up in an almost exclusively white school but, because there was little to no contact with my fathers (Hispanic) side of the family, I also had an almost all white family. I was the darkest child in my family making me hate my coloring. When I was around 10-12ish I would try not to stay out in the sun because I was afraid to get any darker! Additionally my maternal Grandparents were a huge presence in my life but there was a lot of what the book would call passive racism. They did not want my mother to date my father and certainly were against their marriage and consequently favored their other grandchildren over my siblings and I.

Although I cannot every really understand what it is to be African American I can understand what is is to be different. I hope at least in that and through continued research I can help Spider-Man through any difficulties and to enjoy his culture.

If anyone else has any other good book or resource suggestions I would love to hear them


[SIZE="3"]Megan, Wife to Ron, Mommy to Ben 5-7-09, Grant 4-22-10 Abby 6-16-12,Alex 6-15-15 You're so beautiful to think of, but so hard to be without, E no longer in our home, always in our heart
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Old 03-24-2013, 12:44 PM   #22
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Passive racism is so dangerous. I'm so sorry you were made to feel bad about your skin color growing up! Im very interested in kids perceptions like this so I can't wait to read it!
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
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Old 03-30-2013, 08:17 PM   #23
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Thank you so much for this post it has given me a lot to think about and read up on. My son is Native American (bio mom is a small percent) and not sure what other ethnicities because bio mom was adopted and father is supposedly unknown.
It is nice that my in laws are 100 Italian and he looks just like them.
Now I will have to start thinking of ways to talk about this subject. I'm not sure how much racism he will encounter (that might be my naivety). Our philosophy is that it is better to start when he is young because it makes the conversations a little bit easier as they get older. He knows about his birth story and his bio mom and we are close to his bio family minus mom who does not see most of her children. Who knows what the right thing to do is anyways.

Last edited by kfosmom; 03-31-2013 at 05:25 AM.
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