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Old 06-07-2010, 10:21 AM   #1
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Thoughts on Sheltering

What are your thoughts on sheltering kids in today's world? Is it commendable? Doable? A bad idea? Wrong?

I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

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Last edited by Penniless; 06-07-2010 at 11:06 AM. Reason: typo
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Old 06-07-2010, 10:27 AM   #2
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Re: Thoughts Sheltering

I dont think I understand...do you mean fostering?
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Old 06-07-2010, 11:04 AM   #3
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Re: Thoughts Sheltering

No, I mean sheltering kids from influences you think are bad, whether it be religious, moral, ethical, or simply against the way of life you're living. Like homeschooling your kid to keep your kids away from "bad influences" in public school, not having a TV because you don't want your kids exposed to the values on TV, living in a place with only like minded people, and only letting your children play with kids from families with similar values---

A good thing? A bad thing? Ideal but not possible in today's world? Etc?
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Old 06-07-2010, 11:14 AM   #4
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Re: Thoughts on Sheltering

I think it's a bad idea. It's hard to teach your kids about your worldview and why you disagree with another one if they never see it. You also can't teach them how to deal with it in a practical way, unless they have to do it. I'd rather my children face questionable influences while they're young and want to talk to me about them, than after they've left to live on their own and have to figure it out by themselves.
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Old 06-07-2010, 11:22 AM   #5
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Re: Thoughts on Sheltering

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosefall View Post
I think it's a bad idea. It's hard to teach your kids about your worldview and why you disagree with another one if they never see it. You also can't teach them how to deal with it in a practical way, unless they have to do it. I'd rather my children face questionable influences while they're young and want to talk to me about them, than after they've left to live on their own and have to figure it out by themselves.


There are certain things that children shouldn't have to face until they're at a developmentally appropriate age, but eventually they're going to need to be aware of how the world really is. I would much rather my DD learn about the unpleasant things in life with me there to help her through it and answer her questions so that she's prepared for adluthood, rather than being shocked, uninformed, and unprepared for life as an adult.
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Old 06-07-2010, 11:34 AM   #6
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Re: Thoughts on Sheltering

Yes to the PP's!!!

I have seen kids raised in boh enviroments and the ones who enter the world as adults unaware of much of it always seem to get involved in themost trouble or have the most difficulty handling the world. I would never completely shelter a child, instead I will use the world around DS, both good and bad to teach him about our morals and views.
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Old 06-07-2010, 11:43 AM   #7
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Re: Thoughts on Sheltering

It's a tough question. I think everybody shelters to an extent, whether they mean to or not. You can raise a free-range, public schooled kid, but if you're doing it in an upscale community with safe, high-quality schools, it's still a type of sheltering.

It's a question of how much of the "real world," or the ugly parts of it, do you let in, and how soon, and in what way. I don't want the kids to have a warped view of the world that is too focused on ugly things, because that's not necessarily "reality" any more than a field of flowers & puppies.

I think my instincts are to over-shelter, and DH's instincts are the other way, so I'm crossing my fingers that we'll balance out to getting things just right.
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Old 06-07-2010, 11:53 AM   #8
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Re: Thoughts on Sheltering

I think sheltering kids from age-inappropriate things is only natural (ie, sexual content or violence with young children). However, I don't believe that kids should be sheltered from things all their life - learning about other people, about other cultures, other religions, and educating them on the physical and moral dangers that exist only makes them more well-rounded and understanding inviduals once they are "released" upon society . The challenge is to determine when they are ready and to introduce them to things before they find out in an unpleasant or traumatic way.
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Old 06-07-2010, 12:59 PM   #9
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Re: Thoughts on Sheltering

Quote:
Originally Posted by chmom77 View Post


There are certain things that children shouldn't have to face until they're at a developmentally appropriate age, but eventually they're going to need to be aware of how the world really is. I would much rather my DD learn about the unpleasant things in life with me there to help her through it and answer her questions so that she's prepared for adluthood, rather than being shocked, uninformed, and unprepared for life as an adult.
I agree with this. Honestly, at 2 1/2, the biggest things I try to "shelter" my DD from is violence, and marketing/advertising.
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Old 06-07-2010, 02:14 PM   #10
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Re: Thoughts on Sheltering

For those that area against sheltering, does that mean that you'd have no problem if your very young child was being preached/proselytized to by someone with opposing religious/moral views to your own? If you say that you can't hide the truth from them, don't you think that they first need to have some basis of sheltering, growing up with the values that you want to promote, before they face the "big bad" outside world with its contradicting values? That maybe first they need to learn what you believe in before they get exposed to what you don't believe in/agree with?
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