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Old 06-12-2010, 03:42 PM   #1
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Unhappy Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

I took my three kids, ages 7,4,and 2 to a pool party today. We walked into the pool area and I was getting myself and my 2 y/o ready to get in. Unknown to me, my 7 y/o and 4 y/o get in without life jackets or floaties. Neither can swim. Well my 4 y/o got too far into the deep end and went under. My odd saw her and was screaming. Another mama jumped into the pool with her clothes on to save her. I can't thank God enough for that mama.

After things settled down, I was so sick to my stomach that I thought I was going to vomit. How could I have let them get away like that? My uncle died at age 3 from drowning... I know better. I was packing up to leave the party, but the other mamas asked me to stay. They kept telling me that it was ok, and that it could have happened to anybody. But that's just it... it didn't happen to anybody, it happened to ME and MY kid. I could have lost her for good and I just can't handle that. I finally calmed a bit, but I am still jittery 4 hours later.

I am just so upset and devastated. I know I am not a bad mama, but I sure feel like one.

I always said that I want my kids to learn how to swim at a young age, but I never signed them up for lessons. I just called our local gym and left a message to sign both of the girls up for private swim lessons.

Please no flames mamas, I know I was irresponsible and I could have lost her forever.

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Old 06-12-2010, 03:47 PM   #2
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

That's so scary! And something I worry about with my own kids, I'm just glad everything's ok.
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Old 06-12-2010, 03:51 PM   #3
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

I'm so happy to hear that things turned out okay. While I would be very scared and upset as well, I think you need to look at this as a learning experience. For both you and your children.

Water safety is a VERY important thing to teach a child. I know you were at a party, but they should have had to stay with you until you were all ready to get in together, or at least until you had your eyes on the water.

Don't beat yourself up too much, just use this as a way to teach everyone what you should not do near water.
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Old 06-12-2010, 03:52 PM   #4
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

scary mama...stuff happens to everyone. Glad she is ok.
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Old 06-12-2010, 03:55 PM   #5
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

you are not a bad mama, things happen and thankfully everyone is ok this time. I know you'll be much more careful the next time you are around water. So just try to relax and know you won't let it happen again. ((HUGS))
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Old 06-12-2010, 03:55 PM   #6
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

Goodness, no flames here, mama. This really could happen to any mom. I shudder to think of all the times that I'm not paying 100% attention and dd just happens to not get herself into a precarious situation. She has recently taken to running off outside in our condo complex and there have been a couple times where it took me a few minutes to realize it and then a few more minutes to track her down. Very frightening. Anyone who would flame you is lying to themselves if they think they are always 100% on top of what their kids are doing. You are NOT a bad mom. I'm just so happy that other mom jumped in.

Oh, and I honestly witnessed a similar event at the pool yesterday. A mom was holding her newborn and just swaying back and forth. All of a sudden I saw her start running into the wading pool because her 2-year-old was under the water. The older brother (about 4 or 5) was trying to get him out but the mom bolted in and grabbed him by the arm. Another mom got there at about the same time when she realized what was happening. See? It's the kind of thing that happens in a split second, so of course it can happen to any of us.

again. I'm glad your dd is safe.
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Old 06-12-2010, 03:58 PM   #7
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

I know how scary that is. My 17-month-old fell into a river last weekend, and was nearly swept away by the current (it was a really fast river). My husband fished him out almost as soon as he'd fallen in, and he wasn't in the water for but a couple seconds, but it was still scary. We were supervising him, he just wriggled his hand out of mine, lost his balance, and fell in.

My point is, this stuff happens to a lot of people. It doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It just means you now know it CAN happen to you, and you'll react accordingly. Getting your kids signed up for swimming lessons is a great start. If anything, I would say that's a huge positive that has come out of this potentially negative situation.
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Old 06-12-2010, 04:05 PM   #8
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

Try to be easy on yourself...

I think all of us moms have had at least super scary experience!
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Old 06-12-2010, 04:08 PM   #9
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

When my DD was just over a year old we went swimming and were getting out of the pool We got out and I took her floaties off and turned around to grab a towel. In that split second she ran to the deep end and jumped in!!!! I swam over as fast as I could and when I got to the deep end she was at the bottom!!!! It all happened very quickly and THANK GOD she was ok, but that is something I will never forget or forgive myself for. Ever since I get really scared about taking her swimming and make her hold my hand every second we are w/o saftey devices ( which she hates ).

She starts swim lessons next week ( she's 2&1/2 now).

Maybe you can get swim lessons going for your LO's this summer.
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Old 06-12-2010, 04:08 PM   #10
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Re: Devastated at my poor supervision of my kids

I was sitting on the edge of the bath tub with my kids in the tub and my DD slipped under. It can happen to anyone. The thing is to learn from it and teach water safety. Teach them to tell you when they are going in, and that they have to wear a life jacket.
(((HUGS)))
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