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Old 06-21-2010, 12:12 PM   #1
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August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27


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Old 06-21-2010, 12:30 PM   #2
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

Procrastinating like no one's business today. The laundry got away from me, now I have several loads to do. Grocery shopping, and then general clean up.

My SO has been home for less that 48 hours and has managed to wreck the house I spent all week cleaning up. I suppose I let him clean up his own mess on his day off tomorrow.

I just don't know how to get it across to him that it really bugs me when I spend so much time working on our home and then he comes through like a hurricane. It's like he wasn't taught to pick up after himself when he was a kid or something. Whenever I mention to him that I'd like it if he hung up his towel or didn't leave open drawers with clothes hanging out of them he gets really pissy and reactive. I hate nagging, but I feel like it's going to take me having a mental breakdown in order for him to get his stuff together. I don't want to spend my life picking up after kids AND a husband. I feel like I am constantly trying to play catch up and it's driving me more crazy now that nesting mode is in full swing.
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Old 06-21-2010, 12:45 PM   #3
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

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Old 06-21-2010, 01:12 PM   #4
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

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Originally Posted by brookglen View Post

My SO has been home for less that 48 hours and has managed to wreck the house I spent all week cleaning up. I suppose I let him clean up his own mess on his day off tomorrow.

I just don't know how to get it across to him that it really bugs me when I spend so much time working on our home and then he comes through like a hurricane. It's like he wasn't taught to pick up after himself when he was a kid or something. Whenever I mention to him that I'd like it if he hung up his towel or didn't leave open drawers with clothes hanging out of them he gets really pissy and reactive. I hate nagging, but I feel like it's going to take me having a mental breakdown in order for him to get his stuff together. I don't want to spend my life picking up after kids AND a husband. I feel like I am constantly trying to play catch up and it's driving me more crazy now that nesting mode is in full swing.
I know how you feel, although DH isn't totally messy, he tends to leave things out and doesn't throw things away, so on top of trying to keep the house clean with two kids it's frustrating when he does that. I've been trying to teach my kids to pick up something or put something away and try to explain to them that it's disrespectful to me to drop something on the floor and expect someone else (me) to pick it up. I should probably talk to DH about helping me more, I'm getting tired towards the end here and it's hard to keep things tidy.
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Old 06-21-2010, 01:20 PM   #5
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

I decided to walk with some friends yesterday. We walked about 2.5 miles in an hour. I am still paying for it. Wow! I had sharp pains in my groin and seriously uncomfortable Braxton Hicks off and on all day yesterday. I tried to lay down and drink as much water as I could. I'm still really sore today and moving in slow motion. Doesn't help that I hardly got any sleep last night. ugh. I am so ready for August to get here!

brookglen: That would totally drive me crazy, too. Hope you can come to a compromise with him so you don't feel like you are his mother, too.

Heather: that's a tough one. Maybe after this baby is here and SO realizes all you went through, he'll see how difficult it is and realize it would be best not to have any more. Good luck.
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Old 06-21-2010, 01:57 PM   #6
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

Rei- that's exactly it. Anxiety attacks. I don't mind doing daily housework to keep things tidy. But when I find myself doing something that I JUST did a day ago, I end up feeling really anxious and irritated.

I talk to him about it the best way I can. He tries for a day or two and then the next thing I know the clothes are all over the place or the closet is completely ransacked. Arg! I feel like this is just a deeply embedded habit that he'll either have to work very hard to overcome or I'll just have to hire a house keeper to maintain because I'm not going to be able to keep up forever.
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Old 06-21-2010, 02:12 PM   #7
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

I should stop complaining. He's good man, takes good care of his family, and works too hard sometimes. I guess I'm just having one of those days.
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Old 06-21-2010, 04:18 PM   #8
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

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Rei- that's exactly it. Anxiety attacks. I don't mind doing daily housework to keep things tidy. But when I find myself doing something that I JUST did a day ago, I end up feeling really anxious and irritated.

I talk to him about it the best way I can. He tries for a day or two and then the next thing I know the clothes are all over the place or the closet is completely ransacked. Arg! I feel like this is just a deeply embedded habit that he'll either have to work very hard to overcome or I'll just have to hire a house keeper to maintain because I'm not going to be able to keep up forever.
We used to have this same exact issue. Over the years, I have become more lax in my standards. I guess 14 years and 4.5 kids has taken its toll on me. I pick my battles now because I couldn't keep up with everything. We have separate sides of the closet now and I don't even look at his. That's how I (don't) deal with it.
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Old 06-21-2010, 04:38 PM   #9
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

for the mama who walked 2 miles- are you INSANE? I can't even make it 4 blocks heck rolling over is a chore! I pulled my lower ligament last night in bed. I was stuck for 20 minutes on my side. now it was funny but lasty night I wanted to cry. so YOU are ambitious!!!

well the email I sent the ex went over well. but he pulled me aside to talk as I was trying to walk out the door to take the kids to the beach. I hate when he waits til the last minute to chat. I said, we should have done this a month ago. he brought clothing over and said "maybe I shouldn't leave them here?" I said thats up to you. if youre not going to be cooperative in talking to me, then no- get an apartment. I was pretty strong. he made it clear he is not wanting a relationship or to be acting like he is married. in fact he said, I don't want to be head of the household. FINE BY ME!!

in the end hes decided to stay here to help with the babycare and so he can see our other child each day- we will just try it out. if it doesn't work we will know real quick and he will get an apartment close by. (then I get cs for the 2nd child too)

so there ya have it for now. I don't want to be on any rollercoaster ride with him again...
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Old 06-21-2010, 04:39 PM   #10
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Re: August 2010 Weekly Chat ~ June 21-27

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Originally Posted by Amberjoe_1 View Post
he tends to leave things out and doesn't throw things away, so on top of trying to keep the house clean with two kids it's frustrating when he does that.
That's how my husband is. If he goes to make a sandwich in the kitchen, he leaves the knife, mayo, stem from the tomato, plastic wrapping from the meat/cheese, etc. all sitting out on the counter rather than throwing away the trash and putting the dishes/silverware in the sink. He drinks a lot of soda and leaves the cans sitting around the house once they're empty. It drives me nuts that he won't pick up things that he is done with like that.

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I should stop complaining. He's good man, takes good care of his family, and works too hard sometimes. I guess I'm just having one of those days.
That's good. And you're totally allowed to have those kinds of days!
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