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Old 06-24-2010, 10:44 AM   #11
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

i felt the EXACT same way, and i am still having a kinda rough time excepting a girl is in there. i am even still having dreams of birthing a baby boy. just did last night.
i thought for sure id have my DD then 2 DSs. i also relate mostely to boys and boyish activities. i grew up in a house w/ 5 brothers and 3 sisters and my twin bros were only 14 mos younger than i. we did everything together. i wouldve loved to have another boy for DS to play with. but those are just not the cards i have. life is NEVER what you expect. guess thats what makes it a little more exciting.

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Old 06-24-2010, 01:02 PM   #12
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

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I can relate to your feelings also. Our first born was a girl (didn't know until birth) and a part of me was disappointed too. Whenever I had thought of having children it was always boys. I relate to little boys better...I never played dolls, little ponies, or anything typically "girlish" when I was a child. as a child I hated wearing dresses and skirts- I was a real Tom-boy.

When DD was born, my DH was in love at first sight, and I feel like I slowly fell in love with her. I began to enjoy shopping for girl clothes, although I tried to find colours other than pink. Also, because we didn't know the gender we bought all our big items in gender neutral colours (ie. bedding, furniture, stroller, car seat etc.), so I didn't feel that I was drowning in girl colours. I found that reading books about raising girls was helpful. Especially books that celebrate the relationship between mother and daughter.
i think admitting it is the best thing you can do. I struggled with those feelings and still do.. (I don't know the sex of our fourth) I didn't find out because of these mixed feelings. I think falling in love with your child is always a process. My older dd's are sometimes hard to love but it's great getting to know each individual personality.

Don't feel bad b/c you feel this way!
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Old 06-24-2010, 02:04 PM   #13
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

You will be a wondeful mama to your baby girl. It is normal to feel let. Down when you think something is going to be one way then turns out another. I thought DD was surely a boy until she came out girl. I was worried about having to do hair and all the pink. Past NB stuff there is a lot that isn't pink/purple ruffles. Plus I found a little bit doesn't hurt too much. I don't really care for pink or purple unless it is hot pink. I have all GN diapers and find it a little odd to have super girly things. DD loves dinosaurs, building and football. She absolutely adores working on projects and on the cars with her Daddy. Girls don't hav to be pink princesses and boys don't have to be rough and tumble. Having fun falling in love with your little girl.
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:02 PM   #14
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

You're going to be wonderful, no matter what. I was so nervous when we found out our DD was a girl. I don't have the greatest relationship with my mother and, like you, I'm not a gal that relates easily to a lot of women. I was honest about my concerns to some friends that would really understand me and it made me feel better. And, at the end of the day, our daughter is the biggest joy. She's amazing. Everything I worried about is nothing compared to how awesome she is and all of those original fears are out the window. It took some getting used to, but I think you'll be amazed.
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Old 06-24-2010, 05:16 PM   #15
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

i'm sorta embarrassed to admit this, but when we found out what stella was (my 18 m/o) i cried after the u/s. Like bad crying. I thought that she was FOR SURE a boy!! I had boy names, looked a boy nursery stuff, it was sad.

I came around. It took me a little bit, you would have thought that having 2 girls already I would be fine.

I love her so....we are like 2 peas in a pod since she's the youngest and the other 2 like to do their own thing!!
There is a lady I 'online know' that doesn't do pink for her daughter. She's really artsy, and does black and white clothes. Its SO cute!!
Do whatever floats ya!
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Old 06-25-2010, 10:48 AM   #16
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

Thanks you guys!! :grouphug I feel a LOT better just letting it out... and knowing I'm not alone helps.

I have a strained relationship with my mom and my 5 sisters so I think that is adding into all of this too. I'm going to buy some books on mother/daughter relationships and just try to remember how it felt to be a girl growing up who couldn't talk to her mom and then be the mom my daughter can look up to, and talk to. I love her so much already... I'll love the girly parts too!
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Old 06-25-2010, 11:06 AM   #17
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

Pregnancy is all about facing our emotions. Make sure you process your feelings toward women and focus on the girls/women that are a positive impact on your life. Girls can be raised in ballanced and really enjoy science,building,sports,and art instead of barbies and fashion. That is the beauty of parenting you can offer healthier focus for her as she grows into a beautiful person. We need more women in this world that are down to earth and ballanced.
As for clothing if you shop organic most of the clothes are solid colors like browns,greens,yellow. A little pink will fit in there too. Here in teh WAHM world of clothing there are more choices at finding things you like.
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:32 AM   #18
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

My Bf had this same issue and she has two girls now. Having girls for her has been a healing of all those hang ups she had about girls/women. She has close girl freinds for the first time in her life now as a mom too. There are many of us that are not the gossipy designer bags type of girls. Your daughter will be awesome mama! This happened because you needed it to, and you just don't know it yet. Hugs!!
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Old 08-28-2010, 12:14 PM   #19
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

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My Bf had this same issue and she has two girls now. Having girls for her has been a healing of all those hang ups she had about girls/women. She has close girl freinds for the first time in her life now as a mom too. There are many of us that are not the gossipy designer bags type of girls. Your daughter will be awesome mama! This happened because you needed it to, and you just don't know it yet. Hugs!!
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Old 09-08-2010, 02:36 AM   #20
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

Due date crashing from December. One ultrasound said girl, and one said boy. Hmmm...we're doing 3d ultrasounds the end of this month, partially to find out if it's a boy or girl cooking in there. I have one dd, and the idea of having a boy kinda freaks me out. So even though I'm the opposite of you I can relate. I've had time to digest and I'm at peace with whatever bean is coming my way, but like a pp said it's a dream for yourself dying. When I heard girl my first ultrasound I had the name, we bought a few things, we had these images of how are family was growing. So when the next ultrasound changed to being a boy it was like losing something even though obviously we did not. Now I'm educating myself on certain things (cute boy clothes, taking care of a penis...hey, we haven't had any boys since my nephew who is over 13!) and just coming to terms with not knowing for now and loving whoever this little person is that is growing in there.
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