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Old 06-24-2010, 11:54 PM   #1
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Positive Discpline Techniques?

My DD is a little over 2. We are really struggling with her picking up her toys & throwing a tantrum when we say no to things. (Typical 2 year old) I end up getting mad because she screams and kicks and yells and it just escliates the problem. What are some positive discipline techniques Ican use with her. She is sensitive and I just don't feel time outs are working. Thanks!

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Old 06-25-2010, 12:14 AM   #2
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Re: Positive Discpline Techniques?

When we were teaching our boys to clean up toys we'd make it fun/relaxed like a game.
i.e. ok, let's help mommy clean up now! I'll put this one away and you find a toy to put away, 'k?
or they liked to watch The Wonderpets so we used to sing that song 'what's gonna work? Teamwork!...'
First (and still to this day at 4 years old) I always tell them, 'ok, x minutes and then it's time to clean up!') and then it's not such a 'surprise' to them when clean up time starts.

Hang in there :-)
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Old 06-25-2010, 12:21 AM   #3
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Re: Positive Discpline Techniques?

My son gets really upset w/ time outs as well. We still do them, I just make sure and encourage him to apologize. ( I say to myself, "sorry Mommy") and then I let him lay his head on my shoulder and hold him until he calms down.

It's hard, but sometimes just the threat of a time out will stop a fit. Not always, but sometimes!
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Old 07-04-2010, 08:01 PM   #4
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Re: Positive Discpline Techniques?

you might like a book called "conscious discipline" by becky bailey.
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Old 07-04-2010, 08:24 PM   #5
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Re: Positive Discpline Techniques?

Leading by example works well, so you cleaning up with her. I also try to tell my children specifically, "please pick up X and put in in Y" and yes I have to go through every item but it works and it is very less stressful.

I use a Green, Yellow, Red light system.
A green light day is a great day with listening ears and trying their best to do what they are asked. If this happen there is a small reward at the end of the day whether it be an extra story, treat, or like tomorrow my dd picked getting ehr nails painted as a reward.
Yellow light is a day that they had some dificulty in but corrected the behaviour quickly. They still get a reward on a yellow light day but somthing smaller like a sticker or tattoo.
Red light day there is no reward
All day long I remind my children that they are working towards a green light day.
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Old 07-04-2010, 08:41 PM   #6
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Re: Positive Discpline Techniques?

Hang in there, this phase will pass!

I agree, anything you can do to make it a game will help. I have my son "drive" his cars and airplanes into the "garage" (toy bin). Sometimes we'll set a timer and see if we can get all the toys put away before it buzzes. Or I'll make a funny noise for each toy he puts in the basket.

I think another part of the puzzle is having realistic expectations. A 2 year old is going to need a lot of help with pickup time. I wouldn't expect you to be able to ask her to put away her toys independently until she's at least 4-5, and even then she'll need supervision to keep her on track. I'd sit on the floor and model what you want her to do, really talk up how much you enjoy keeping the house clean and how fun it is to put the toys where you'll be able to find them tomorrow. Maybe make it your goal that she will put away 2 toys each day for a week. Once she is doing that, maybe she will put away all of her books/dolls/one kind of toy.

Time outs don't work for every child, and they are just one of your parenting tools. You don't need to use them for everything. Positive Discipline for Preschoolers is a wonderful book with a lot of great ideas and insight into the minds of our little ones!
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