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Old 06-25-2010, 01:10 PM   #1
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Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

those who follow/believe in positive parenting and discipline ideas what do you do about hitting and kicking? P doesn't do it out of anger so much but will just thrash when I am trying to get him dressed or whatever and I'm not sure what to do about it besides asking him to stop, telling him it hurts, it isn't nice etc and to threaten time out (which doesn't work BTW)

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Old 06-25-2010, 01:27 PM   #2
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Re: Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

I would hug him when he does it, and in essence pin his arms and legs in the process. If you make it into a positive of, "I love you, let's use nice touches," maybe he will get the picture? Or maybe he's just ready to start trying to dress himself. Perhaps if he is given a little bit more independence with the task, he will feel more in control of himself and won't thrash around so much. Just a couple of thoughts.
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:07 PM   #3
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Re: Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

I have had a big problem with this too. I tell my 2.5 yo that if she hits/bites/ whatever that mommy is going to leave the room if you do that again because I don't like that. Then when I leave I'll say, "let me know when you want to get dressed.". She wants to be with me so badly that in just a few minutes of being alone she'll run after me, "mommy, sure I want to get dressed. I'm done hitting now.". Then, I hug and praise her for her choice. I use this strategy anytime she is doing something unpleasant to me or her baby sister and it has cut down on a lot of unwanted behaviors.
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:15 PM   #4
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Re: Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

I think you should teach him how to do it himself. He's almost 3 right? Give him some choices on what to wear or when to dress (like before or after breakfast), etc. This or that choices work really well for preschoolers. I would not try and "pin him down", sounds like a good way to turn things into even more of a battle. Giving him hugs after he just kicked you is probably sending him a mixed message. Besides that, does he even have to get dressed? I stay at home and sometimes my two year old wears jammies all day. I just wouldn't even make things an issue if it really isn't that big of a deal. I wouldn't even mention a timeout unless you are prepared to follow thru on that otherwise he is seeing you grasp for ideas and threats and in essence, showing him that he is in control. Pick your strategy and stick with it.
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:20 PM   #5
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Re: Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

yeah, it's when he is tired and I need to change his diaper and get him ready for naptime or bedtime. I have been trying to teach him to dress himself but forgot when his behavior just started being so bad I just wanted it to be naptime, need to slow down for a bit I guess. We only get dressed when we need to go out and he doesn't mind that b/c we're going somewhere fun, it's just like he can.not sit still on the changing table and has to kick or hit or pull on the curtains or shake his head back and forth and it's impossible! I'm a little frazzled lol
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:37 PM   #6
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Re: Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

What happens when you change him somewhere other than the changing table? A friend of mine says she now changes her 2 yr old while he standing up and looking out a window or something. (Not saying she's allowing him to be an exhibitionist, but you get the idea, right?) And I have found that allowing my DD to pick which diaper she wants helps a lot. Same with clothes.
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:41 PM   #7
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Re: Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

when I change him on the floor he is generally twisting and turning to see something or grab every toy within reach, recently he has started arching his back lol no wonder I had icecream for lunch...
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:43 PM   #8
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Re: Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

Your son is a couple years older than mine, so this may not work for him, but recently, my ds started screaming and trying to fight me with every diaper/clothing change. I started giving him a warning about 1 minute (he's 13 months) before I change him, then I pick him up and talk about the diaper change all the way to the changing table. This has worked AMAZINGLY well! He still gets upset sometimes, but now he'll usually calm down after about 10 seconds - especially when I give him his toy Good luck!
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Old 06-25-2010, 03:02 PM   #9
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Re: Positive parenting/discipline - hitting and kicking?

Quote:
Originally Posted by zandj View Post
when I change him on the floor he is generally twisting and turning to see something or grab every toy within reach, recently he has started arching his back lol no wonder I had icecream for lunch...
Ha ha I sooo get this.

Go shopping and let him pick his clothes out. Then let him pick his clothes out for the day (use lots of OOOOOOOO---AHHHHH---THATS AWESOME!!!!).....
TO avoid the clown look (since he basically dresses himself) I let him pick the shirts out, I get the boring shorts/pants and get just solids or jean so he's not wearing striped plaid shorts with a camo shirt KWIM?

It's all about control. Let them think they have it.
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