**New question**What is expected of your 7 year old?

[TofuScramble]

My 7 year old does all that plus sweep under/around table after meals/snacks, and helps her sisters w/ the cat box. So, no, you're not hard at all on your kid, I think chores and taking responsibility for oneself are such IMPORTANT life lessons. I NEVER had to do chores or pick up after myself as a kid, and now I struggle as a housewife to keep the house clean... it's hard.. I really think if I was brought up with a routine of doing chores I would be a much better housekeeper.

[goingfor3]

I expect all of that except clearing the plate from my 4 year old. She does put her plate on the counter, but I throw scraps to the chickens, so I don't want them to clear their plates. She also has decorative pillows on her bed that she moves to the foot of the bed at night and back to the top when she makes her bed in the morning. She also hangs her own clothes, puts her clothes away after helping me sort laundry sometimes. Last night, she folded all towels for the last week's laundry except large bath towels
She also likes to pick her own clothes for the day and does a good job matching socks/shoes to the outfit.

[GEM Cloth]

If they are capable of doing it they are expected to do it. I tell my girls that I am not raising house pets. We have a whiner here, being very firm with her helps.

[mommyfrog]

Not too hard. My 7 year old is expected to take his plate off the table (so are my 5 and 2 year olds), put away his own laundry (so is 5 yo), pick up after himself in general and do whatever else we ask him to do like pick up baby toys, put all the outside toys away, clean off the table....stuff like that. With whining, I just say "I can't understand you when you whine, you need to talk in a regular voice."

[shanree]

I must be the cruelest mama on earth then. My oldest boy just turned 8 this month (but was doing the same things at 7) ALL of my children, even the 2.5 years old are expected to make their bed before coming to the breakfast table. Breakfast is not served to someone whose bed is not made. ALL of my children including the 2.5 year old put away their own laundry (except hanging things they cannot reach). ALL of the children are expected to collect dirty clothes from their rooms and bring them to the laundry room. Each child scrapes their own plate into the compost bowl/slop bowl after a meal and puts their dish on the counter by the sink.
The triplet 4 years olds, the 5 years old, 8 year old, and 14 year old all do things such as cleaning off the table after a meal, bring dishes to the sink, etc.

My boy who just turned 8 is capeable of fixing cereal for everyone and does on occassion (usually by choice, he likes to help). He commonly sweeps the kitchen after a meal and occassionally vacuums the livingroom and hallway. He assists the younger ones with putting clean sheets on their beds and putting things away that they can't reach.
He also :gasp: MOWS THE YARD! He and the 14 year old girl 'tag team' the yard each week... she mows a while until she gets tired, then he takes over for a while until he gets tired and they just switch back and forth until it all gets done.
They ALL also help me in the garden with weeding, picking veggies, etc.

[3lilbubs]

Ashley I expect a lot more than that from Connor so I don't think you're being unreasonable! As for the whining and not fighting... ugh.. let me know if you figure something out because right now I'm calling it a "phase" so that I can tolerate it better. I swear Connor's temperament is more like my three year old's right now.

[kkweight]

Klaire has had some sort of chore since she was about 2. Of course, all age appropriate, but she is expected to help in our home.

Her chores are:
Make bed each morning
Get dressed on her own without me telling her to do it
Brush teeth twice a day
Keep her room picked up
Bring her laundry basket to the laundry room once a week
Change her sheets 2x's a month and put new sheets on her bed
Help me hang out and change the laundry around
Take her laundry basket to her room and put away/hang everything up (I fold it all and put outfits together)
Unload the dishwasher each day (i load it), if there are big pans she can scrub them, she enjoys it.
Clear her side of the table after each meal and wipe of the table
Put away her toys, shoes, ect. that are left in the living room, she does it each night before bed
And help with any miscellaneous chores i ask her to do like dusting, sweeping, etc. She will scrub toilets if i ask her, she thinks its fun.lol

Shes nearly 8, and we have dealt with alot of whining too, but i just don't put up with it. I give her one warning to stop, and then shes handed another chore if she keeps it up.
Or, i just let her carry on, i keep an eye on the clock, and when she finally stops i add up the time she whined for. So if she whines for 30 minutes, then she owes me 30 minutes of chore time without whining. It works like a charm for her.

With my daughters chores, i feel like these are age appropriate for her, shes always been very mature for her age. When she was 2, her chore was to dress herself, or to make her bed. Was it perfect? NOPE! Is it perfect now? NOPE! But i don't care about perfection right now, that will come with time.
Once chores are done at the end of each week, we pay her out .10 cents per chore completed. She pays her tithing, and then she can do whatever she wants to do with her money. Like right now, shes buying Zhu Zhu pets.
Another thing, we allow TV, so once chores are done, she can watch Animal Planet or something for a bit during the day. She can play, paint, do whatever she wants.

ETA:
This isnt a chore, but if shes downstairs first in the morning, then she makes a bowl of cereal for everyone or some oatmeal.
She also makes her own school lunches the night before.

[2boysmommy]

Sounds pretty normal for 7. My son has to do those things, and sometimes I have him vacuum for me. He likes to vacuum though.

[Geckmumto3]

You are very reasonable.

My kids (2, almost 5 and almost 7) all:
Clear their spots at the table
Help clear the rest of the table
Put their dirty clothes in the hamper
Tidy the playroom and put outside toys away
Make their beds (ok, the 2 yo throw his taggies and blankets onto the bed)

The big kids also:
Pick out their clothes for the next day
Help make their own lunches
Set the table
Feed the dog, the cats, the bunnies and the chickens
Fetch things from the garden for me
Tidy their rooms

The oldest also:
Helps with food prep (chopping food, measuring things, grating cheese, etc...)
Vacuums the sunroom (inside bunny hutch is in there and she has to vacuum every time she plays with the bunnies)
Dusts surfaces

And I am sure there will be more chores added to keep her busy for the summer.

As for the whining and arguing.... We get it in phases here, too. The best results I have had for whining involves me saying, "I can't hear you/understand you when you talk like that, please speak to me in a big kid voice," and then I try to ignore them until they speak properly. If it continues, I send them to their rooms or a quiet spot to get a handle on themselves. As for the arguing, we have a "No negotiation" rule that is in place for many things. If something is open for discussion, we open it up as such, but if the negotiating, arguing, etc... starts uninvited, they stand to lose out on something. I cannot stand constant negotiations. Recently we have had an upsurge of, "What will I get if I do what you asked?" This was learned by friends of ours who have to bribe their kids to do the simplest thing, such as putting on their shoes. Luckily, this has been nipped in the bud by us simply saying, "Nothing, nevermind," and asking another child to help us. The first child, thankfully, will usually then jump through hoops to do whatever it was... LOL Sure that won't last long, but it works for now.

[turtle2who]

My 5 yo puts his dirty clothes in the hamper, puts his dishes in the dishwasher, helps fold laundry, puts his laundry away, Helps make meals, gets his own breakfast most days, cleans up his own messes like games and toys he took out, times when he misses the toilet, etc. He showers by himself, dresses himself, brushes his own hair and teeth, packs his own school bag.