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Old 06-25-2010, 07:32 PM   #1
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Is it the 15th yet? (vent warning)

Really my pregnancy has went well, no emergency issues or anything like that, which for me with my high risk history is wonderful. I count myself blessed.

I don't want to whine, but I feel like I need to just talk about this. The closer I get to the 15th the more stressed out I get.

The 15th is our next targeted ultrasound. I haven't had one since my 18 week targeted. I am so scared they are going to tell/show me more things that are markers for Trisomy 21. I know there is a good chance she is ok, and I have read/heard stories of others that go along with that. I also have read/heard equal things that don't help or make me feel better at all. As it's been said before on DS sometimes "google" is not our friend. I really haven't worried about it and kept a good attitude until recently, and have really leaned more towards our baby being fine vs downs.

To add to the worry in the back of my mind...A friend of mine due to her age was completely screened in her pregnancy, ultrasounds and all, and they told her baby was not at risk at all for downs. They didn't see or find anything alarming in her ultrasounds or blood tests. When her baby was born, it was immediately noticed he had downs. She is supporting me and letting me know she is praying it really is nothing at all for me. But knowing they missed her baby's downs entirely (and she has went over the ultasounds with her doctors after he was born and they still swear there is nothing alerting them) and here they are seeing something in my baby is really worrying.

I know that there is a chance she is normal, but I also know what they told me and how her risk is 2 fold. It sucks not knowing, and this week I have questioned if I should have done the amnio. Even though I still probably wouldn't because of the risks. It wasn't bothering me till this week, and the closer I get to the 15th the crazier I get. Sorry for the ramble.

I am torn. One minute it seems like the 15th is years away and I really want to know whats going on with her and see my baby girl. The next I am stressing out worried they are going to find more markers or something worse, and I almost am too afraid to go. Not to mention I am still a bit curious on the position of my placenta. I really don't want a c-section but if my placenta is still found that low and marginal or complete previa then I need to know so I can prepare myself mentally. I think hormones are making it worse. I realize there are more heartbreaking things to be told than that your baby has downs, and my heart goes out to so many moms who have been there. I do consider myself blessed that we haven't been told anything devestating or worse than Trisomy 21. I can still just feel my heartbreaking though the closer I get to the ultrasound. Shouldn't I be happy or excited to see my baby? I can't figure out why, but suddenly I get the feeling they are going to see more markers or something really serious.

I won't love her any less. She is so beautiful to me already. I just hate not knowing, and wondering what they could end up telling me this time. We are also having a challenging time right now with DS aspergers and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I guess that and my hormones has a lot to do with it too.

Am I being too emotional?

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Old 06-25-2010, 08:00 PM   #2
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Re: Is it the 15th yet? (vent warning)



No way are you being too emotional mama! It is a very difficult time, and I am sure the waiting & not knowing is the worst part. There is nothing you can do to change how your dd is developing, please try to stop googling & relax a little. The added stress is no good for you or your baby. There is a very good chance that everything is just fine, and if it's not, it sounds like you are fully prepared to accept & deal with whatever challenges that may bring. Don't doubt yourself on your decision to opt out of an amnio. I was offered was as well due to my age, and decided against it because in my opinion it is just a risk I am not willing to take. The 15th will be here very soon, but in the meantime try to relax & enjoy your pregnancy!

Onto the Asperger's......my oldest stepson is 14 years old and has Asperger's as well. It has always been a challenge, but the past few years have brought about challenges I never would have had to imagine dealing with. If you ever just need to talk....I'm all ears. I know every case is different, but Cameron's case is pretty severe as Asperger's goes. We have been through alot, and might be able to help or at least relate to what you & your family are going through
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:52 PM   #3
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:18 PM   #4
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Re: Is it the 15th yet? (vent warning)

Thank y'all for listening. I know it will be here soon, and remaining calm will serve me better than worrying. For some reason it has just been harder this week.

As far DS Asperger's it's pretty severe right now. We have increased his therapies, and just recently started medication. I am hoping things get to a better level soon, because I can't imagine on the bad days what life is going to be like when he is older.

I just take it a day at time. Sometimes I live on deep breaths. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:25 PM   #5
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You are definitely NOT overreacting or being too emotional! And that's what this group is for (among other things ), venting and talking about things!
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Old 06-25-2010, 10:39 PM   #6
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Re: Is it the 15th yet? (vent warning)

Hugs Willow. I am sorry you are having to go through this Mama. I understand you have more reason to worry and be stressed but I just wanted to assure you that I think it's a worry in the back of every parents mind's approaching an US, even when we haven't been told something alarming previously. At least that is how I feel, I am always nervous/scared they are going to find something wrong, I think it's totally natural and I think your feelings are totally normal. I know it's hard at times like this but maybe reminding yourself that whatever the outcome you can't change the situation and therefor there is no sense worrying about it, having faith that she is your child for a reason just the way she is. I hope that does't sound insensitive, I really don't mean it to be...those are the kinds of things that tend to help me by telling myself over and over when I get to worrying. Hang in there, I continue to pray for you and your sweet baby girl
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Old 06-26-2010, 04:57 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Willow* View Post
As far DS Asperger's it's pretty severe right now. We have increased his therapies, and just recently started medication. I am hoping things get to a better level soon, because I can't imagine on the bad days what life is going to be like when he is older.
How old is your son? I can tell you from experience puberty is the worst time. Not only do the hormones intensify everything, but that is when social relations become much more important. The social challenges of Asperger's make fitting in difficult, and pre-teen children suddenly become very aware of it. Peer relations become strained and then the child is left feeling confused and often angry about his inability to simply do what seems to come so natural to everyone else. We have been through it all with his school, have had numerous police encounters due to out of control behavior, several ER visits & even a short inpatient stay :-( It is so challenging, but once you get the right support system it does get better
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Old 06-26-2010, 06:48 AM   #8
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Re: Is it the 15th yet? (vent warning)

lots of we are here for you to talk through all of those feelings
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Old 06-26-2010, 07:09 AM   #9
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Re: Is it the 15th yet? (vent warning)

NOT over-reacting. So sorry there are things for you to worry over. I hope and pray that it all turns out fine for you and your baby. And that things stabalize with your DS.
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Old 06-26-2010, 07:19 AM   #10
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Re: Is it the 15th yet? (vent warning)



Definitely not over reacting or being too emotional. I go to every growth scan appt with baited breath just KNOWING they are going to tell me something is off since the girls screening came back at 1:186 chance for Trisomy 21.
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