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Old 02-24-2007, 07:51 PM   #11
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

I am one in the odds here. I did CIO w/all mine, and they are all well adjusted, awesome sleepers. (yep, loved too) I never did more than 12min (dont ask me why, that was just the # that worked) and it was 12, about 7 about 3 and then not a whimper w/my first 2. You need to do what works BEST for you and your child...I am thinking a miserable, tired mommy contributes to a miserable cranky babe!

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Old 02-24-2007, 07:51 PM   #12
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

It's so hard to keep going day after day without sleep. My heart goes out to you. Go get the "Healthy Sleep Happy Child", the book outlines lots of different things to try. For our son is was just an age thing. He is a very good sleeper now, yet wakes regularly to be fed at night still (22 months old), now we are down to one time thankfully. He also sleeps for 3 hours in the afternoon. The book really helped me realize that "sleep begets sleep" a baby who is only sleeping 9 hours a day is severely overtired and is hard to get to settle. Please try the book, it was an answer to prayers for us.

Good luck! to all of you.
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Old 02-24-2007, 07:57 PM   #13
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Ok i have NEVER done CIO nor will i BUT i am here to support your choices now what i am about to tell you is just want i have read on my other board so don't know if it will work or not but one of them says calls it 10-10-10 let your baby cry for 10 mins go in make sure all is ok put your hand on his chest don't pick him up and then leave the room and keep doing the same thing over and over till her falls a sleep she says it only took 3 days and he slept all night but she did do this at a really early age so don't know
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Old 02-24-2007, 08:08 PM   #14
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

With Mikah we held and held her to sleep until she was about 9 months old. It was just taking longer and longer to rock and pat her. So one night I just put her in the crib and she fussed - and I don't mean cried I mean whined and fussed - for about 3-4 minutes. Then she was a sleep! She's put herself to sleep every night since then with no crying or even fussing and she's nearly 4 now. Turns out we were probably over stimulating her and she really just wanted peace and quiet to go to sleep. She really liked having a crib music player turned on with some soothing lights and sounds.

DS is an all night nurser. He's almost 14 months now and was waking up 3-4 times a night and then up for the day between 3:30-4am. Someone loaned me their copy of No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley (there's a baby version too) and it saved my life! The suggestions are really simple, but totally make sense. The first night we tried it he only woke up once and got up for the day at 6:30. It's been a week and a half now and he's waking up 1-2 times a night and up for the day between 6-7. MUCH better.
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Old 02-24-2007, 08:12 PM   #15
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

I did CIO with my older 2..and they are well adjusted kids.. they didnt cry that long.. ( some nights longer than others) and within 1 week.. they would go to sleep without me there ( though they both slept in my room )and to this day..they are great sleepers.. now HAVING said said that.. WIlliam just made 6mths old.. and have never CIO.. I dont plan on it.. I can tell he is differ from the other two.. he will cuddle with me when he is tired.. then when I see he is tired.. I lay him down.. he sleeps all night..and never had to CIO.. But like I said.. I wont with him.. He is differ and I dont think that is something he needs.. One day I walked outside to play with the kids during williams nap ( he naps for about 2-3 hours ) well I was outside about 30 mins.. I came in and I could hear william.. screaming in a panic.. he was crying and it was awful.. I swear to you he didnt let me leave his site for about a week.( not jokeing ) I even had to take a shower with him in his sling ... and ever since that day .. he has to crawl and make sure I am there.. it is weird.. I feel awful .. and even though I did it with my other two.. I kinda feel bad now.. even if they only cried for 5 mins.. they wanted their momma.. and I wasnt there.. I kinda regret it..


BUT Like I mentioned.. it WORKED with my older 2.. I regret it bc of what happened with william..and it brakes my heart to even think about it

oh yeah.. I wanted to add.. they have no idea that it happened..LOL.. they sleep fine.. and dont need lights on at night..and go to bed without a fight.. I am the one with the memory
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Old 02-24-2007, 08:35 PM   #16
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

What I did was a 10 minute rule. I gave him 10 minutes to cry/self soothe. If he was still crying after 10 minutes, I went in and calmed him by doing whatever he needed me to do, rocking, holding, patting, etc. Then once he was calm for a couple minutes, I'd lay him back down awake and leave him again. Repeat process. The first night it took a few hours. Each night it got better, by the 5th night, he was going down fine alone.

Now, if he gets sick, or is teething, all "rules" go out the window. And it takes a few days once he's well to get back into the swing of things.

But now, we do our bedtime routine, I lay him down awake and walk out, and he chit chats himself to sleep. Doesn't fuss at all!

I don't agree with CIO at all, but what I do, imo, is not CIO. I'm allowing him enough time to self soothe, but am not abandoning him, or letting him scream for 20, 30, 60 minutes, etc.

ETA: I was going to add that my son was a SUPER clingy needy baby. He had a few physical issues that caused that, but it was hard. I didn't start my 10 minute thing until he was 7.5 months old, his physical issues were resolved, and he was just needing more sleep. He is now the most independant, loving, fun little guy. I think a true 100% CIO for hours baby would have problems. I think letting your baby try to calm himself and put himself to sleep is not going to result in a emotionally harmed child.
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Old 02-24-2007, 09:19 PM   #17
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

I don't like the term "cry it out". Somewhere, somebody took the idea of letting your child cry for short periods of time before comforting them and called it "cry it out," which makes it sound like it's letting the child cry forever. I don't think there's any doctor or sleep expert out there that would advocate letting a child cry until they fall asleep no matter how long it takes.

But we do let Katie cry for up to 10 minutes. At that point, if she is still crying, we will go in and pick her up to calm her down, then hold her a little longer and put her back down.

I don't regret it. We've tried other ways and this is the only way she'll go to sleep.
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Old 02-25-2007, 10:49 PM   #18
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

i agree with kgsd... i have never let my children CIO for hours or even long periods on end... CIO doesn't mean you ignore your child and just toss em in a crib and leave for ever...
i will say this both girls from day one were put to sleep awake so they would learn to fall asleep on their own...
both girls slept 8 hours a night 8-10 weeks and extended 12 hours shortly after that...
i think learning to sleep on their own was beneficial and helpful to THEM now if something wakes them they just go back to sleep on their own... my youngest is 7 months... she naps great, sleeps 12 hours, is alert ...

obviously there are times when they can't get to sleep on their own. missing a nap, illness teething we always take context into consideration and we parent according to context...
but no we don't regret it... we are actually glad we helped them learn to sleep, i think it's a skill just like most anything else...
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Old 02-26-2007, 06:18 AM   #19
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kgsd View Post
I don't like the term "cry it out". Somewhere, somebody took the idea of letting your child cry for short periods of time before comforting them and called it "cry it out," which makes it sound like it's letting the child cry forever. I don't think there's any doctor or sleep expert out there that would advocate letting a child cry until they fall asleep no matter how long it takes.

But we do let Katie cry for up to 10 minutes. At that point, if she is still crying, we will go in and pick her up to calm her down, then hold her a little longer and put her back down.

I don't regret it. We've tried other ways and this is the only way she'll go to sleep.
I've never regretting letting them cry for a few minutes before I go to them. Ella was very high needs and also had reflux so at 2 a.m. I needed that few minutes to collect myself and my sanity a bit.

But if the crying didn't stop after I comforted her, I rocked and held her. At that age I think, if they need you, they just need you.
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Old 02-26-2007, 06:47 AM   #20
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Fyi even ferber does not recommend trying it before 6 months, due to the fact that babies have not yet developed object permanence (the understanding that things they can't see are not gone forever.)

When i was desperate with my ds i used the baby whisperer's pick up/put down method. There is a very good discussion of it in the discussions forum on her website. Basically you don't leave the baby alone to cry. You pick him up till he's calm and put him down and say night night, if he cries you pick him up again. over and over. She says to start it at night, but it can take awhile so i tried it for the first morning nap and kept at it for each nap. Worked for me in one day. But i think your baby may be too young just yet, since teething starts now and so on; keep in mind most experts say that a baby's cry is communicating a need....and dr. sears says prolonged crying is very bad for the developing brain.

Anyway, pm if you want more info...or if you have questions. Check out the babywhisperers site.

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