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Old 02-26-2007, 06:52 AM   #21
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Originally Posted by Gwen View Post
Ditto on Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - it is the best IMO...

My DD had colic. It took us 5 months to realize that when rocking her she cried HARD for 1 hour (she refused to nurse, take a paci anything - would just cry)
but if we put her in her crib and let her CIO she would cry 7 or 8 minutes and then go to sleep.....

Every baby is different - but my baby really wanted to be left alone - and we just
keep overstimulating a tired baby girl

We never let her cry for more than 10 minutes or so without getting her - but it was and is rare that we have too. She LOVES her crib and does not like to be bothered when she wants to sleep..

It makes me a little sad - would have liked to have done some co-sleeping - but she has NEVER liked being in bed with us.

You will figure out what is best for your baby..




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Old 02-26-2007, 07:10 AM   #22
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

I just wanted to add that it is definitely true that some babies cry to unwind and some want to sleep alone. My ds was one of these too. He couldn't cosleep. HE has always been very sensitive to stimuli.... some babies also need a few minutes to fuss about being tired b4 they fall asleep. A few minutes of fussing is not the same as hour of hysteria!!

I think the best thing you can do is TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. If you feel like killing yourself b/c the baby is screaming and it is making you want to go to him, but you are ignoring that...that is probably not the right thing to do...but if your instincts are telling you the baby is just tired and needs to fuss a bit to fall asleep and you don't feel your skin crawling then that is probably the right thing to do...kwim?

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Old 02-26-2007, 08:49 AM   #23
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

No regrets here and I have a great sleeper. She sleeps from about 8-7 and also takes a 2-4 hour nap every day. I don't remember what age we did it but it was at the recommendation of our ped who I love!! We did the cry for x minutes then check on her and it only took a few nihgts.
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Old 02-26-2007, 10:41 AM   #24
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Does anyone regret doing CIO?

my son is a great sleeper and anytime I have done what you did it NEVER worked out. My son started sttn at 11 weeks and every few months something would come up and we'd have a hard time getting him to bed when normally laying him down he'd go right to sleep. well he'd start crying and wouldn't go down so we'd go through the motions just as you did. Thinking he shouldn't be crying this much it isn't his usual thing so he must need something extra this time. well it always ended up more of a fight than just letting him cry for a few minutes extra. after several times of doing this back and forth every few months we realized that the cio WAS what he needed. Basically every now and then he would "TEST" us and of course we gave in and would hold him or rock him ect but it would take FOREVER to get him to sleep that way. Where just letting him cry for 5-10 min MAYBE 15 min he would be asleep and sleep all night as usual.

Everytime we tried to intervene in putting him to sleep at night it never worked. And when we came to our senses again and just layed him down and let him finish crying for a few minutes he would be fast asleep. And it would only happen for one night or maybe 2 nights and then it would be fine. Just a few months later it would happen again. Now we have learned that these were just testing us. Now my son at 10.5 months we still lay him down, he whines (not cries) for a few min if that at all and is fast asleep from around 8:00 pm till 6:30-7:00 am. with no night wakings (since 11 weeks). My son is the happiest baby too, everyone tells us what a sweet and happy boy he is. ANd I think it's due to the fact that he is well rested and gets plenty of naps during the day. When he's fussy he's sleepy. And he wakes up happy and ready to go again.

You just have to go with your guts and what your instincts tell you. Ours kept telling us, just put him down he'll be ok in a few minutes but all the other crap just kept coming in our heads telling us no, that's too long of crying, or he needs something else, Or what if this or what if the end we were always wrong, all he needed was to be left alone for a few min, it never failed. GO WITH YOUR INSTINCTS!
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Old 02-26-2007, 12:07 PM   #25
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Hi, I just saw this and HAD to post. I did the CIO VERY young, she was only about ummm...2-3 months old. I didn't let her cry over 18 min. I would MAKE sure BEFORE putting her down that she had: Nursed Plenty, had a clean diaper and she was warm. I would then lay her down after nursing her until she wouldn't nurse anymore. We would listen to her while we timed it. It was VERY hard but I wouldn't Change it for ANYTHING. She is a GREAT sleeper and it only took about 3 hard days and probably 1 week for it to be to where she would just lay down and go to sleep. I only had to go in and get her 2 times out of the week. I would go in after the 18 min. and she would get nursed more if she'd take it and I would change her if she needed it. I would CALM her down and then start over. She would only cry about 2-3 min. longer after that. I don't feel that she's ANY different than any other baby now. I will DEF. do it again with another baby. The main reason she cried was because she was mad. I in NO way feel that she thought she was being left alone. She is a GOOD baby and a GREAT sleeper. ** I was told MANY times also that "you never ever hear of a baby who died from crying." That's not saying that you should LEAVE a baby for hours to CRY but just because they're not getting what they want it's going to make them cry. They know what to do to make us give in. It's not any different than when my dd was only about 3 months old she would play on the floor ON her tummy and be fine but then as SOON as daddy was around she would SCREAM until he would pick her up. She's still like that, she KNOWS who'll give her what she wants if she just screams, KWIM? I LOVE My baby and I know that she knows I love her, I don't regret it at ALL!! Good luck, and God bless.
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Old 02-26-2007, 12:40 PM   #26
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

we did a kind of CIO I guess. DS just got too used to falling asleep at the breast (something I plan to work on with this new one on the way!). he just had no idea how to self soothe. at about 10 months he started waking every hour and I nearly went crazy. that kind of sleep deprevation can really do you in.

What we did is we put a spare mattress in DS's room on the floor and both DH and I slept there for about a week. I truly needed DH beside me to help me resist the temptation to just pick him up and nurse him back to sleep. So we were right there, where he could see us and we would put him to bed, explain that it was bed time and we all needed to sleep. And then we would simply lay down and pretend to be asleep. mostly I would say that he was angry (and also sleep deprived from not sleeping properly for nearly a month). I have to admit, it did take hours. not hours of constant crying mind you, crying for a bit, talking to us, trying to get us to play etc. anything for a response. every now and then we would tell him that we were tired, and that it was only bed time and it was time to sleep. and once he got it, that night, then he got it. He still had a hard time for a few days getting used to the new routine. but since then he has been awesome (he's nearly 2)

the nice thing is that now if he wakes up and cries, I can go in and comfort him for a few minutes. I certainly DO respond if he wakes up in the night and cries for us.. but usually a minute of cuddle time and he is happy to go back to bed. it nearly never happens, but the occasional bad dream, or if he is sick, he might wake up and need reassurance that we are there.

It worked for us because I couldn't handle the idea of abandoning him in his crib to cry, being right there in the room with him until he learned to self soothe was the only way that worked for us. Of course then we had to get it so we could just put him in his bed and walk out the door, but that didn't take long at all and just took us going in every 5 mins or so if he was upset to let him know that we were around. he is a great sleeper, I don't regret it because I truly DID try so many things, and this is what worked. I see toddlers around us all the time, and my DS is certainly no more clingy than any other, and he is now an awesome sleeper for both bedtimes and naps.

at 5.5 months personally I think I would look into any other options first to see if anything else will work. I hope you find something, CIO or anything, that will give you that sleep you need I know how hard it is to function on less than half a brain
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Old 02-26-2007, 12:49 PM   #27
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Originally Posted by Mommy2Cadence View Post
As long as as baby is ok fed and dry, he will be fine. I have never regreted it. Dd is an awsome sleeper! I am not heartless, I promise. It just a matter of opinion.
I agree. We did CIO with DD#1 and she became an awesome sleeper. She's still totally in love with us and never "detached" or became extra clingy. We didn't do CIO with DD#2 and she is an absolute pain to get to sleep. She's 2 1/2 and I still have to lay down with her for an hour for both nap time and bed time before she will fall asleep.
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Old 02-26-2007, 02:04 PM   #28
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?


Let me just say that our children sound very VERY much alike. Emma is a bit older than your little dude, but her sleep (or lack thereof) patterns are just about the same.

We tried everything with her. I do mean EVERYTHING. All the techniques, swaddling, white noise etc etc etc. We most recently tried applying techniques from the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book, and at first I THOUGHT They were working, but alas, no such luck. What that book doesnt mention is that no technique works for ALL babies...and it didnt work for ours.

CIO goes against the rest of our parenting style, you know? We are attachment parents, and we just love to be nurturing, tender and close with our daughter. But after endless MONTHS of me not getting even 40 minutes to myself at night (and that meant very VERY few moments with my poor husband), I pretty much broke. I decided it was time to try or die trying.

I expected the worst...I thought for sure she would cry for hours, maybe even hyperventilate. I didnt know what I was going to do. All I knew was that I wouldnt let the crying go on for more than 15 minutes. EVER.
Pleasantly, the first night she cried for 7 minutes, and went back to sleep. She slept 6 hours. Now, more than 2 weeks into it, she no longer wakes up until into the wee hours of the morning. I get a good chunk of time to myself or with my husband, and she seems better rested during the day. It kindof makes me wish I hadnt been so hesitant a couple months ago when this pattern really got severe.

Now that having been said, I dont do CIO during the day. She is always with me, and I lay with her for her 3 (brief) 35 minute naps during the day. Nighttime is the only time when I feel its more beneficial for ALL of us to let her fuss for 5-10 minutes and go back to sleep on her own.

Its totally true, though. CIO is not meant for everyone, or every baby. And it truly was a LAST RESORT technique for us...after everything else had failed. I would never suggest it to someone unless I knew they had exhausted all the other options.

And I dont feel guilt about it. I thought I would, but seeing the change in her as well as feeling somewhat SANE again for the first time in months is making it o.k.

I still keep my rule, though. Never longer than 15 minutes.

I also keep dim lights on in our room (we co-sleep) as well as music. She is also learning to snuggle a blanket, so even when she DOES wake up at night, its not like she is in the pitch black silence. She can see where she is, plus she is surrounded by familiar things. I think that is a comfort too.

This is just my thoughts. I hope no one will flame me for them.
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Old 02-26-2007, 02:22 PM   #29
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

We did a modified CIO with my older DS because I knew it was what he needed and he was 9 months old. With younger DS, I won't be doing CIO. We tried doing it modified like last time and he is just too sensitive. I think every child is different. I don't regret at all doing it with my older son, but I know I would with his brother.
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Old 02-26-2007, 03:57 PM   #30
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

I've been very fortunate to havea g ood sleeper, but a woman I know had a horrible sleeper. After 10 months of her baby waking every 45 minutes she did CIO- she went to doctors, ahd tons of tests run, etc. they couldn't find anything. She hated to do it, but now its done and her babyis finally a great sleeper who sleeps all night. She doesn't regret it at all!
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