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Old 02-28-2007, 07:13 PM   #31
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Wow, everyone, thanks so much for all your thoughtful responses and suggestions! I lost the thread for a couple days and was so surprised to see so many responses!

I do definitely agree we've got a high needs baby - in many other ways as well - and I really appreciated the ideas for working with that. I think he is easily over-stimulated, but I'm curious to see as well if maybe its something like reflux as a pp mentioned, to make him wake up every hour. It just seems that even if we did let him CIO, he'd be up again 30 minutes later... which is completely counterproductive.

We've got a doctors appointment tomorrow at Childrens Hospital - the Pediatric Sleep disorders clinic (referred by our pediatrician) to check out gastroenterological and neurological and any other issues that may be impeding his sleep. I'm hoping they will give us some suggestions of a plan to follow, and this thread is super helpful in helping me define what I'm willing to do or not do with respect to CIO. I'll post an update once we see some progress!

Thank you all again - I really really appreciate it!

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Old 02-28-2007, 07:24 PM   #32
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

I dont think you have to CIO, hardcore crying that is, to get a baby to sleep thru the night. I did hardcore CIO with my first, it worked like it was supposed to but I swore I would find another way with my next child and I did!
I read the books "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and "The Baby Whisperer" all the way thru during my pregnancy and combined the techniques I felt comfortable with.
My daughter(s) never got to full blown cry mode. They slept thru the night early early early(before 4 months?). It was wonderful. I knew there had to be a better way =)
So I would read up, research and see if you cant find a technique that fits with your beliefs and family. Then the most important thing is CONSISTANCY.
Once you decide to try a method, stay with it, tweaking it but dont give in and then get all bummed that it didnt "work", kwim? GL!!!
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Old 02-28-2007, 07:31 PM   #33
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Glad you're getting it all checked out. That'll make you feel better even if they can't point to anything.

FWIW, we did a "five minute rule" here. At first all that meant was DD got nursed every five minutes til she conked out, and when she was teething it was AWFUL (for me...back and forth, back and forth all night long). But it paid off. She's a great sleeper now, although she has VERY sharp hearing and won't nap at Mother's Day Out. I think it's cause she can hear kids in the next room, or water running, or another baby snoring...you get the picture. Her favorite question is, "What's that?" And from the teachers at the church she has learned "Shhhh!" with her finger over her lips, (whispering) "Quiet!", and "It's OK" (while patting your arm).

Think of it this way: if there's no medical issues keeping him up, maybe he's just extraordinarily smart.
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Old 03-01-2007, 10:31 AM   #34
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gwen View Post
Ditto on Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - it is the best IMO...

My DD had colic. It took us 5 months to realize that when rocking her she cried HARD for 1 hour (she refused to nurse, take a paci anything - would just cry)
but if we put her in her crib and let her CIO she would cry 7 or 8 minutes and then go to sleep.....

Every baby is different - but my baby really wanted to be left alone - and we just
keep overstimulating a tired baby girl

We never let her cry for more than 10 minutes or so without getting her - but it was and is rare that we have too. She LOVES her crib and does not like to be bothered when she wants to sleep..

It makes me a little sad - would have liked to have done some co-sleeping - but she has NEVER liked being in bed with us.

You will figure out what is best for your baby..

Gwen
Same here... minus the colic.

Miranda didn't liked to be rocked to sleep.. matter of fact I remember when she was about 4 months old I went to a playdate and she fell asleep on me and I told one of the girls there that i was completely shocked because she never had before. lol

We did CIO. I did it a little more than I probably would of done it now, But what's done is done, and I don't Dwell on things that were done. I know next time around things will hopefully be different.

Luckily for me, she started sleeping though the night at 3 weeks old. But that doesn't mean she slept during the day all that well sometimes. lol
but, like someone else said, if she was dry and not hungry, there was not much I could do for her, and she probably wouldn't want me doing it anyway. lol
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Old 03-01-2007, 10:49 AM   #35
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

I had DD CIO at about 10 months. I completely regret it!!! Her sleeping didn't improve much, and she became more clingy and fussy... it was defintiely too early for her to CIO. Now, with DS we never really had problems with his sleeping until recently. He's 2 now, and every so often he wakes up in the middle of the night (3 AM) and is ready to be up for the day. He's just a morning person, I guess. Anyway, I usually go in his room, make sure he's dry (and not sick or fevery), give him a drink, his security bear, and a small soft toy. I rub his back for a little while, and then kiss him and tell him goodnight. I leave, and if he cries, I let him CIO. This has worked. It only took about 3 or 4 times and now he doesn't do it anymore. He's learned that I will come, but also that he can self sooth.

I don't think a 5 mo is ready to self-sooth, honestly. Have you tried a pacifier. I know some people think they're the essence of evil, but you don't need to sacrifice your sanity/sleep or your nipples if a pacifier can help him. You'd have to help him get used to it - give it to him once he's done nursing, rock him with it until he's settled down (he'll probably cry and spit it out at first, expecting your breast)...

Has this been going on for a long time, or just a few weeks? It could be a growth spurt, in which case he really does need the nursing all the time, and should settle back into a more regular nursing pattern after the growth spurt.
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Old 03-01-2007, 02:41 PM   #36
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Yes, make sure you rule out reflux. My daughter suffered from reflux and once we corrected that she did much better. If your son does have reflux or even if he doesn't you may want to try getting something like the Amby Baby Hammock and putting it in your room. The motion and position of the bed will help him feel like he is being held. Some older babies also do better with swaddling. At that age we used a sheet folded into thirds (long ways) and wrapped in that. That and the hammock might do wonders.

I have never used CIO with my daughter. I have used CIO with the children that I care for (I am a nanny) only at the parents requests. I have tried to parent these children to sleep and once they are firmly entrenched in CIO it is almost impossible to comfort a child to sleep. I am always able to comfort them to sleep at first (usually because the parent is just starting to use CIO) but it goes away. For example I used to be able to rock the little girl that I am now watching when she was 4 months but her parents started CIO last week and now she screams bloody murder if you try to touch her when she's tired. I love how my daughter (even at age 2) will pass out anywhere. The other day she fell asleep in my arms grocery shopping and we laid her in the cart and she stayed asleep. Most children who are made to CIO will only sleep in their cribs or in a very familiar environment. Change the environment and they have trouble sleeping. My daughter also doesn't use loveys in order to sleep, she just sleeps. All the children I have cared for who were made to use CIO, have loveys. Granted not all children who have lovey's are made to CIO but I have never met a child (older, toddler age) who was made to CIO who doesn't have a lovey. Maybe they exist, but I haven't met them.

Also, the other thing I was thinking was food allergies. Carefully examine your diet if you are nursing or his diet if he is on solids. Food allergies can really affect sleep.

Edited to add: Of all the infants I have watched who were made to practice CIO (4 so far) none of them only needed a few months of CIO before they fell asleep without crying. The 6 month old I watch now cries every day and now she no longer lets me comfort her. Usually you have to keep implementing the CIO method over and over during various periods of their development.
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Old 03-06-2007, 08:01 PM   #37
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Re: Does anyone regret doing CIO?

Just wanted to post an update, with some suggestions for anyone else following this thread. WE saw the sleep guru's at National Childrens Medical Center here in DC. They were really helpful - they think he's got reflux so he's now on Prevacid for that. They also suggested starting solids which I ws going to do anyways this weekend as Luke is finally 6 months old! So far so good, he loves it! Also, one interesting element - they told me to wake HIM up to eat. I always followed the 'never-wake-a-sleeping-baby' mantra, but as they mentioned, if he is 'rewarded' by getting to eat when he wakes up, he will keep waking wondering if this is the time he'll get to eat. So instead, if I wake him up, and never feed him when he wakes on his own, he learns that he needs to stay asleep to get fed. So far, I think its working. We're down from nursing 6+ times/night to only 2-3. I can control when I feed him, and although sometimes its harder to get him back to sleep, he is sleeping for a couple 2-3 hr stretches each night which was previously unheard of. But now DH is on board and is re-settling him for the non-eating times - I feel like I don't know what to do with all my new energy now that I'm sleeping at night! (...poor dh... but really, I did it for 6 months. Its HIS turn!)

Thanks for all the CIO stories... I do know many people who have done it successfully, and I know many who refuse to do it at all. I really wanted to know if anyone HAD tried it and then regretted doing it, and I loved hearing all the different perspectives.
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