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Old 07-29-2010, 04:11 PM   #11
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Re: A Break From Kids

THe responsibility of homeschooling and the forced creativity that is required on my part ignites a feeling of pride and accomplishment that is recharging for me. It is more difficult to live out of Harmony in my opinion. Besides, I love my kids and teh more time I spend with them the more I am able to work with them on the positive reenforcement. The more they have of this the more I enjoy them. So, no I wouldn't say I need a break from my kids ever. I would say that I have to take breaks for my husband and I to be alone. It's very important to me to do this and rekindle our love. This is one among many ways I recharge myself.

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Old 07-29-2010, 04:17 PM   #12
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Re: A Break From Kids

Me, personally? Yes, I need time to recharge. I usually find it in going to my part time job (the job only runs during the school year, and I work about 2-3 nights a month, so not very often.) I was working one day a week earlier this summer and stopped recently due to DH having to travel for a few weeks. I will tell you that I miss it greatly. I am looking forward to the fall when work picks back up again.
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Old 07-29-2010, 06:16 PM   #13
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Re: A Break From Kids

I exercise. It gives me the time "away" I need and sets a good example for my children.
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Old 07-29-2010, 06:39 PM   #14
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Re: A Break From Kids

I think it really just depends on the person/family. I personally am perfectly fine being around my kids 24/7, if I really need a break DH will entertain them so I can soak in the tub with a book or I stay up after them (which is pretty late, they don't usually go to bed until between 11pm and midnight) and watch tv by myself...but its rare that I feel like I need to do either of those.

My sister, on the other hand, simply cannot function without a few hours away from her kid daily...she's going to school & working simply because of this. A weekend spent solely with her child & husband stresses her out to no end and usually ends up with her having an anxiety attack...most weekends she leaves her kiddo with her DH and goes shopping (even if its just grocery shopping) by herself, or she goes to get her hair done, or she goes out to the bar with her friends on one night. We watch their daughter for at least one overnight on a Friday or Saturday a month, usually two...its more out of fear of what would happen to her kiddo though, all of her DH's family that will babysit is perfectly fine letting them pick her up after a night of drinking & drive home with her...we have a very strict no drinking & driving with the kiddo rule and won't let them leave with her on those nights...sometimes I feel like we're telling them its okay to not have her that much, but the alternative is putting my niece in danger

This post reminds me of something my neighbor told me once that kind of made me sad & at the same time. She asked where DS went to preschool & if he was going to the local public school or one of the private schools when he went to kindergarten...when I told her we were homeschooling, she said "I could never do that, I don't like my kid enough to be around her that much." I can get needing a break, but actually saying "I don't like my kid enough" to spend time with them?? That's so sad to me.
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:23 PM   #15
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Re: A Break From Kids

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah52 View Post
I think that in a way parents spending large amounts of time away from their kids is what makes them think it is necessary. Because some of people can't handle their kids for a more than a few hours in the evening they think parents need the entire day to themselves whereas when your kids are home all day, every day, you come up with ways to deal with it.
I think this is true.....and sad. I can't tell you how many of my teacher friends say things on their fb status about going crazy with their own kids and counting down the days til they go back to school. It's bizarre to me that they want to spend all day away from their own kids, surrounded by somebody elses.
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:10 PM   #16
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Re: A Break From Kids

Yes, I need a break. Not really from the kids, but a break from constantly doing things for them. I homeschool partly so I can see them. When I was working AND they were in school, I'd go days at a time and only see them for about 15 minutes a day.

I work, where people constantly need me and interupt me and I have to multi-task. But it's a different mix and nobody whines about who did what to whom. Well, sometimes they do.

I work out at the Y. Kids go into a HS PE class. Our instructor for years has said that, hands-down, our's is her favorite class to teach b/c none of us complain about what she tells us to do. Complain??!!?? And you went there of your own free will?!?! We all tell her we will do whatever she wants b/c we are so happy to have a break to just focus on US. Our class used to be only HS moms (and sometimes a dad) b/c that Y was not busy during the day. We were the first day class they could maintain the numbers to keep going (we were at least double the minimum). Now, after a remodel and significant membership drive, there are loads of non-HS people there. Our class is only half HS moms, but they say they love to come be with us b/c we are so happy. They all fit right in and we are a very social group.

My aunt takes the kids twice a year so I can go to conventions.

I go to meetings a couple times a month in the evening.

I stay up way too late. That backfires as the kids get older, b/c they often just stay up, too.
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:13 PM   #17
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Re: A Break From Kids

I have a 1, newly 4 and am 7 months pregnant and feel I need more 'breaks' now than in the last year. It's more for 'newborn preparations' though. I want to read my natural homebirth books to prepare myself for that, go shopping (for maternity and newborn things), get online shopping for newborn things, etc. My husband gives me a couple hours a week to do this and I'm fine. Like I said, it's more now, than before. We really had/have no money for daycare or sitters, so I just got used to having them around for everything and all the time. We've all learned to mesh well and do all of our work together, out of not having a choice. I can run every errand with them, they help clean the house, they make me laugh all the time. They are just a part of my life and daily routine now like my right arm is. When I actually leave 'alone', I feel soo weird and empty. I've heard some moms say, "I need to get a life or I need to find myself" and I think, being with your kids is the BEST, most meaningful, purpose filled life a woman could ever have and you've already found yourself. Look in a mirror, you're a MOM! There you are, don't go looking any further. There is nowhere better for you to be and nothing better for you to be doing than being a mom. Don't believe the lies. My husband works at the hospital and takes care of people on their death bed all the time. You know what he told me?? He says, none of them ever tell him they wish they made more money or bought more things. They all say, I wish I spent more time with my kids! And that is the truth. You won't be able to get this time back and a lot of people are trading it in for money/jobs/prestige. It's all a lie and deception that you won't awaken out of until it's too late. So, yeah, I take breaks (like 2 hours a week out of the house and some hours after they're in bed) and that's it. I enjoy the time but miss my kids like crazy. I used to go to Moms Nights out a couple years ago and all we did was talk about our kids. I haven't gone in years and don't really miss them. I'd rather go on date night with my husband now if we get them time and money for a sitter.
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Old 07-29-2010, 09:29 PM   #18
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Re: A Break From Kids

Yes I do need time away. I have SPD and by the end of the day I am exhausted from all of the touching and noise and movement. It is too much for me. I have a couple of hours in the evening just for dh and I and that helps. I know we are lucky, my boys love to spend the weekends with my parents and my mom loves it too. So most weekends we have a decent break for the kids. We spend most of the weekend with my parents and doing things with the kids, but when we get home Friday night and Saturday night it is peaceful and we can just relax. We can catch a movie or go out to dinner as adults and just talk without any stress. It is great having my parents so close and wanting to spend so much time with the kids.

I will admit sometimes I think it would be nice if the kids were gone all day. Usually if schooling has been stressful or they have been particularly wild or we have had too many Dr's appts and other obligations in a week. But I don't know what I would really do with all of the quiet time. Probably just clean obsessively and read. Not that it wouldn't be fun, but I would miss my babies. I missed Kearnan when he was gone at school the year he went to a Charter School, and not just because Tharen whined for him all day long. I am always thinking of things I would do if I didn't have to spend so much time doing schooling, but I have the rest of my life to have a spotless house and read uninterrupted, these past 9 years have passed so quickly, I know it won't be that long before my babies aren't babies anymore and they grow up and leave me.
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Old 07-29-2010, 10:59 PM   #19
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Re: A Break From Kids

I agree with her statement. I DO need a little break to myself. I NEED to recharge. I NEED to have adult talk. However, I find ways to get it, and still homeschool.
In the morning before the kids get up, I have quiet time to myself. At night when they've gone to bed, I have quiet time. When I go to work for a few hours each day, it's a break from my kids. I get adult talk. I get to practice my craft and be creative. I get to read trashy gossip magazines and sip coffee.

I find my times. Sometimes it may be 10 minutes, other times I get a few hours. None the less, I don't have to send my kids away for 7 hours a day to get "me" time.
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Old 07-30-2010, 02:37 AM   #20
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Re: A Break From Kids

I do "need" a break every once in a while away from the kids, but I find that if I just sit down, take a deep breath, (and on really bad days vent a little to DH), I'm over it. I haven't been away from the kids for more than 15 minutes, (not counting my own sleep of course), for 2.5 years now, lol.....I have been contemplating a "me" hour a lot more often though, hehe.
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