Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-05-2010, 12:41 AM   #1
MamaNae's Avatar
MamaNae
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,365
My Mood:
Angry I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

Once in a while (maybe 1 or 2 nights a week) my 2 year old will have a 'bad night' she will wake up and just BAWL and scream for about an hour...it's typically related to if I wasn't able to get her to nap & if she goes to bed too late (AKA WAY WAY WAY overtired!)...

So it happened again tonight (hence the reason I'm posting at 1:30am)...and DH completely gets all pissy about it starts going on about how sick he is of this and it happens every night and she's going into her room.

I say "No she's not, she'll keep James up. And besides what is the difference between one of us attempting to comfort her HERE and attempting to comfort her THERE?" and he says "There wouldn't be any of this crap, she could just cry because there is no reason for it, at least she wouldn't be keeping everyone up" I say "Yeah, except James." So he says "Then I'll put her crib together upstairs and she can sleep up there."

WTF? Like I'm going to lock my TWO YEAR OLD upstairs (up very narrow, very steep, very DANGEROUS stairs mind you) all by herself? Freaking jerk.

And of course DD's crying sets off DS2 so they're both crying and DH is getting all jerky and I'm not able to comfort them both so I ask him to take ONE and you'd have thought I asked him to climb Mt. Everest...grrrr

I don't know WHY he gets on this stupid cry-it-out bandwagon. He knows I'm 100000% against it. He's just a lazy butt and don't wanna be a parent when it's not convenient for him. He's tired so the world must stop..



Anyway, any advice for how to help DD sleep better? Otherwise if 'd' (does not stand for dear) H suggests locking her upstairs I may do him bodily harm

Advertisement

__________________
Renae. Helpmeet to my hottie hubby, Josh. Devoted Mama to my Wolf scout-bookworm-sports-a-holic James (7), my Daisy Scout Princess Aldria (5) and my 2 year old Tornado Emmett and [COLOR="Magenta"] and my tiny squish Cora Paige! (May 2013)
MamaNae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 12:48 AM   #2
jveprek's Avatar
jveprek
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 4,000
My Mood:
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

I know that my DH was totally pushing the CIO (never listened) until we started talking to friends that do CIO.... and their kids have the same sleep issues he was pissed about, only ours were comforted and theirs cried.

I guess all I can say is really try to at least get in rest time for her if a nap isn't an option???
__________________
Shop at Amazon.com? Please bookmark, share, and use Madi's link. She earns 4% back and the money goes for therapy items insurance won't cover!
Mom to Conner & Madilynn & wife to handsome DH David!
Read my blog about my Madi who has spina bifida & hydrocephalus
jveprek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 01:39 AM   #3
hanhtam's Avatar
hanhtam
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,267
My Mood:
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

Anyway, any advice for how to help DD sleep better? Otherwise if 'd' (does not stand for dear) H suggests locking her upstairs I may do him bodily harm[/QUOTE]


Sorry for not having any ideas on this but I just want to say I'm 100% with you on this
hanhtam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 02:53 AM   #4
LaFlaca1226's Avatar
LaFlaca1226
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Eastern Pennsylvania
Posts: 365
My Mood:
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

Oh mama, I can sympathize with you so much. DD is now 3, and sleeping much better, but we went through some very tough stuff with sleep for her first 2.5 years. DH would complain, swear, and make me feel miserable whenever DD would wake up and cry, and he also didn't offer to do anything to help. He often made the comment that we had "ruined" her, and compared her to "normal children" and talked about what she "should be" doing at her age in terms of sleep. We had so many talks about nighttime parenting philosophy, and while he agreed with me in theory, he couldn't wrap his mind around it in the middle of the night. I always felt like I had two babies to soothe at night, DD and DH.

Here's how I solved the problem. At around 18 months, I moved DD to her own room with a double bed. I would nurse her to sleep there, and then go to bed with DH. When DD woke up in the night, I'd go spend the rest of the night in her bed, so that DH would not be bothered. I hated having to take DD out of the family bed so early. I hated having to leave our lovely king-sized bed in the night. I hated knowing that I was the ONLY one dealing with nighttime parenting. And DH hated that his wife was leaving his side at night. But you know what? It helped us all get some sleep and stop wanting to kill each other. For us, it was the only solution, since DH refused to either help or chill out.

We have a new baby coming (any moment now), and I've told DH that if he pulls the same crap, both baby and I will move into the baby's room.
__________________
Bethany ~ married to Zach June 03, SAHM to Katy July '07 & Charlotte August '10!


Check out my ISO/IHA!
LaFlaca1226 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 09:16 AM   #5
MamaNae's Avatar
MamaNae
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,365
My Mood:
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

I'd take DD away but she doesn't really WANT anything, she's just upset and needs to cry. Last night I took her into the living room & read her a story (to distract her?) and just rocked with her and eventually she fell asleep & said she was tired and wanted to go to bed. I just know 1) I won't be able to get DH to do this and 2) I don't know how often I can do that with her if DS2 needs me (he's only 7 months...still bf'ed)

Bethany, DH is the SAME WAY and I wanna beat him! "This isn't normal." "Normal kids aren't like this." "There is something wrong with her." pisses me off.

We're gonna work on nap times. I've been trying to get her and DS2 to take an afternoon nap at the same time so that I can lay down with DD but it's not working. *sigh*
__________________
Renae. Helpmeet to my hottie hubby, Josh. Devoted Mama to my Wolf scout-bookworm-sports-a-holic James (7), my Daisy Scout Princess Aldria (5) and my 2 year old Tornado Emmett and [COLOR="Magenta"] and my tiny squish Cora Paige! (May 2013)
MamaNae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 09:32 AM   #6
Kayleen's Avatar
Kayleen
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Central MN
Posts: 2,071
My Mood:
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

I have gone through similar with DH myself. There was a period of time where DD did not want to go sleep at all and would cry and cry (beginning of the night). This was after not haveing any sleep issues at all. She was prior a really easy to put down baby. Then the week of hell happened.

I am not anti-CIO, but I don't do CIO completely either. DH couldn't stand the crying and I warned him after the first night (that he was home for) that if he has a problem hearing her cry he had better leave the house cause I am not going to have him banging around making noise becuase he is upset about it. I will not be dealing with two babies when one is old enough (DH) to understand everything. His being upset does not help the matter at all.

I just basically told him off. Either he helped or he kept his mouth shut. Period. There were no other options. At that time he was still working away from home 5 days a week so I was the one that had to deal with the sleepless/rough nights and he only caught the tail end of that bad week. I work FT outside the home and had no one else to help me out and I wasn't all upset about it like a little baby.

You both need to agree and come to an understanding about what's happening and what you want to try to "fix" the issue. Remind him that your child is not like every other child out there and you are not going to parent the exact same way as everyone else or as society thinks you should. He needs to get over himself and step up. We all want our sleep but when we chose to have kids that right to sleep is overruled quite often.

(I'm not having the best week - sorry for any attitude)
__________________
Kayleen - Full time WOHM married to a wonderful man who I need to appreciate more . TTC # 2!
Mom to DD (Dec '07) Finishing Kindergarten May 2014!
Wearing GreatGreatGrandma's clip-on earrings in avatar.

Last edited by Kayleen; 08-05-2010 at 09:35 AM.
Kayleen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 10:06 AM   #7
Terra
Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,253
My Mood:
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

I'm completely with you and would have been so upset too!

It also could be many things from teething second year molars [they can take months to come in and can be the worst!], night terrors/dreams. My oldest around that time, started those and did the same thing! It does pass!

No real advice, other than stick to your guns. My DH sometimes gets upset too when they wake up and cry or something. Then he tries to pull the 'I have to get up and go to work'....and I tell him, uhhhh HELLO....I work outside of the home too full time AND take care of the kids!!
__________________
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side!
Terra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 10:57 AM   #8
MamaNae's Avatar
MamaNae
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 6,365
My Mood:
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

DH has no ideas other than 'lock her upstairs' which is 100% not an option. I wouldn't do it to a dog I'm not doing it to my CHILD.

The kids HAVE to share a bedroom (can't get a bed upstairs, they're too narrow) so we don't really have an option.

Ald will go to sleep okay...she needs someone with her but that's not a huge deal, I will lay next to her and read or sit there and knit or something...or else DH will go in there and read or play on the netbook. But the last few nights she wakes up after a couple hours and just bawls. I don't think even she knows what the problem is. I will drag her out of the bedroom (so she doesn't wake DS2 up) and sit and rock with her or walk around or something. If DS2 wakes up then I have to get DH to take one of them over and he gets super pissy. I get that he has to work but it's called being a parent, right? Sometimes it's not easy
__________________
Renae. Helpmeet to my hottie hubby, Josh. Devoted Mama to my Wolf scout-bookworm-sports-a-holic James (7), my Daisy Scout Princess Aldria (5) and my 2 year old Tornado Emmett and [COLOR="Magenta"] and my tiny squish Cora Paige! (May 2013)
MamaNae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 06:35 PM   #9
happymommyandwife's Avatar
happymommyandwife
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 195
My Mood:
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

My DH just ready your post and he was like "wow. jerk." LOL I've never had problems with DH being cranky about one of our children being fussy or inconsolable. If they act like they aren't comfortable, either of us will offer them a drink and put them in bed with us. Most time, they just want mommy and daddy
happymommyandwife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 06:45 PM   #10
Squig'sMumMum's Avatar
Squig'sMumMum
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southeastern USA
Posts: 4,959
Re: I'm gonna slap my husband (re toddler sleep issues...ANTI CIO!!!)

My DD used to wake up at random times and cry too, usually an hour or so after being put to bed (or upon waking from naps, but she doesn't take those any more). She's almost completely stopped that now, usually she sits up and looks around, sometimes says a few things, and then flops back over. I don't think she is even actually awake (though if she stays sitting up too long, she -does- fully wake), both DH and I talk in our sleep, and she does too.

It is probably a stage that will go by quickly, even though it may seem to drag, and all you can do is comfort her, get her back to sleep and continue doing so until she outgrows it.
As for your husband... Well. He needs to zip it, unless he has a workable, non-abusive solution (sorry, but locking a child on a separate floor to scream in the middle of the night is abusive, IMO, I know not everyone sees it that way) that he intends on helping you work with. He is a grownup, and a parent, and he needs to act like one. Or he can go sleep on the couch Then DD will not wake up him or her brother.
__________________
DH & I happily welcomed Squig March '08 and Hiccup March '12

If there are any typos or grammatical errors I was probably NAK, apologies in advance!
Squig'sMumMum is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.