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Old 08-05-2010, 09:20 PM   #1
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11month old throwing tantrums?

My 11month old has started throwing small temper tantrums. If he doesn't get what he wants he screams. If he wants something or you to pick him up and he doesn't get his way and he's sitting on the floor he'll throw his hands up and then put his head down and just wail. DF has just about had it with this, and my efforts to tell him he's just a baby and they all go through this isn't working at all.

I know this must be a typical baby thing. But how should I handle this? I've been trying to ignore it, or distract him with a different item when it's over a toy or object. But his cries break my heart :-( Plus DF throwing a mini tantrum over this isn't helping.

Any advice?

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Old 08-05-2010, 09:36 PM   #2
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Re: 11month old throwing tantrums?

If you haven't already, I'd start with some sign language so he can express himself a little more. If I have to do X before I can pick them up, I just say that. And tell them that when I'm done with X, I'll come cuddle. If its something that isn't safe for them to have, I say that and try to find a toy that is okay. But we can't always make it better and we can't make them NOT cry. Adults (sometimes) have better ability to control their big feelings--using words, taking a walk, whatever. Babies don't. So they cry.

Best we can do as parents is help them learn to express themselves, learn to deal with their feelings (that'll be awhile, definitely not at 11mo!) and stay calm.
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Old 08-05-2010, 10:03 PM   #3
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Re: 11month old throwing tantrums?

I TOTALLY recommend doing sign language with him!! I used mybabycantalk.com their videos are great.
There's another thing I would start doing NOW even though you might not see results for awhile, you're laying the groundwork for when he's older, is start telling him to stop crying. Sounds simple/nuts, I know, and you'll know whether you need to say it gently while comforting him or a bit more sternly, but start telling him, stop crying. Even when you've figured out what he wants, make him calm down if at all possible before you give it to him, because he needs to learn that crying and whining and throwing a fit doesn't get him his way. You have to be consistent, and it's hard, and again, you probably won't see results for awhile, but start doing it now and you'll have great results later. I can tell DD who just turned 3 to stop whining, and that she doesn't get things by crying, etc etc, and she stops and listens. Tantrums with her are pretty much nonexistent. But we've been working on this since she was around a year old. Emotions aren't bad, if he really needs to cry he can cry, but a tantrum is unacceptable behaviour and shouldn't be tolerated no matter what age you are.
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Old 08-06-2010, 05:06 AM   #4
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Re: 11month old throwing tantrums?

My son's just a bit older and does that same. I find right now with him I use the above advice, but for him in particular he's a communicator. He understands what I'm communicating, I understand what he is, but he's just mad cause he doesn't get what he wants. But when there's no reason to communicate he's mad anymore he stops. So most of the time I don't buy into it and kinda ignore him. Sometimes I'll go about my business and do something I know he'll be interested in. Usually within less than a minute he stops - forgets it - and is onto the next thing...

The other thing that helps him if he's working himself up is a change of scenery. I'll take him outside for a bit usually - totally mellows him out!

HTH?
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Old 08-06-2010, 05:55 AM   #5
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Re: 11month old throwing tantrums?

. refuses to let DS learn baby signing. I know that sounds ridiculous but he \sn't\\\\\\\\\it and I try to listen to his wishes as long as it's not something that will hurt DS. He's on board with CD, selective vaxxing, co-sleeping, me being a SAHM/no daycare, etcetc so I can live without baby signing. Though I do try to sneak some in here and there lol.

For the most part I know what he wants. He's pretty good at letting you know what he wants and how he's feeling. He just throws a fit if you're too slow at getting what he wants or you take away what he wants. Like, right now he wants to mess with my laptop. He can't, he already broke part of it, so he trhwos a tantrum. I try to ignore and remove the laptop.

I'll try the "stop crying" thing!!
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Old 08-06-2010, 09:38 AM   #6
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Re: 11month old throwing tantrums?

My DS is 11 months old too and definitely throws some tantrums. He understands what I say really well and that helps some. Since its just he and I during the day I talk talk talk and he understands when I tell him he isn't supposed to do something, come here, all gone, so and so went bye bye, etc. If he is pitching a fit for being told no or getting something taken away that he wasn't supposed to play with, I'll normally just let him play in his crib and chill out. It works really well...I know some kids hate their crib but he is always happy to sit and be alone for a little while. A lot of times if someone leaves he will pitch a fit and that is something I'll of course comfort and distract for. Other times I just don't know what to do. Like in the mornings when I am making his breakfast he is so impatient and sits in his high chair crying. I just tell him to be patient, its coming! Its so funny how he freaks out, I'm like "Son, have I ever NOT fed you? No! So calm down, its coming!" Tantrums at this age are just one of those things that your reaction has to be based on circumstance. Sometimes comfort, sometimes time out in the crib, and sometimes you just kind of ignore it. Just a little while ago he was having a snack (Gerber lil crunchies...omg he is addicted to those!) and he ran out and was SO upset! He only cried for a minute and got distracted by a toy and then came back to where he was eating them and I said "Honey, they are all gone, I'm sorry" and he started bawling. It was like he was genuinely sad so I had to comfort him. Sometimes though he will be a total brat over something like that and he wont want any comfort and thats a time he will go in his crib for a few minutes.
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Old 08-07-2010, 02:40 PM   #7
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Re: 11month old throwing tantrums?

DS is not yet 11 months. He's been having temper tantrums since about 10.5 months old. He'll get upset and cry, and throw his head into his arms while he collapses to the floor. He's genuinely upset and can't understand. So while yes, it is temper tantrum, I get to his level and sympathize with him "I'm sorry honey, I know you are upset and I know you want to do (insert activity here), but you can't because it isn't safe" or for whatever reason. I know he can't understand now, but I think it is important that he knows I'm not just a mean, that I DO sympathize and care about his feelings, but I remain firm and consistent.

After that, I try to distract and play again. If he's not having it, I offer a snack/dinner/meal, whatever. If he's still grumpy after that, I KNOW its naptime! Lol.
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