Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-06-2010, 12:06 PM   #1
BootyGold's Avatar
BootyGold
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: North TX
Posts: 9,279
My Mood:
*UPDATE* Unconditional Parenting

*update*

So I really took all of your opinions into consideration...thanks mamas

I took a long hard look at MY behavior over the last few weeks, and I can honestly say that I've been a major mega b1tch I spent the evening just trying to enjoy my experience with DS, playing games, not cleaning the house, paying attention to him and DD, and it really made a difference. We had a little bit of a struggle with putting his jammies on, and we did do a time out, but it was quickly resolved and that was it! All other "crazy 3 yo behaviors" were handled with gentle guidence and it worked out well. It seems as though maybe its ME that needs the time out and behavior adjustment

*********************************************

So I have read the book. I love his philosophy and I've always known that the approach I was using just didn't quite feel right to me.

I've modified my parenting style to be more in line with his thoughts and I can say that I really do like it. It just feels more natural to me. It has been a slow progression over the last two or so months. But I'd say I'm full on with no time outs, etc. in the last few weeks.

However, DS has become a maniac He has been absolutely rotten these last few weeks. Will not do anything that I ask, always says "no" regardless of the question, hits, won't go to bed, used to love to be independent and now just constantly says "I can't do it!!:, etc. etc. etc.

We have had some changes in our life and I know that he's 3, but I'm starting to wonder if my change in parenting is the cause.

We had a little come to Jesus meeting about his behavior last night, and he was sent to his room for a while to cool off. I know, against the UC parenting. But ever since then, he's been so much more cooperative.

Thoughts?

Advertisement

__________________
Amy ~ wife to Dr. Mikey ~ mom to Tiny G (5/07) and my VBAC baby Small Fry (2/10)

Last edited by BootyGold; 08-06-2010 at 09:47 PM.
BootyGold is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 12:23 PM   #2
hpfgirl's Avatar
hpfgirl
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 4,557
My Mood:
Re: Unconditional Parenting

I believe that properly applied discipline shows the most sincere love for a child. They are incapable of self-discipline and need you to do it for them. They depend on you for it.
hpfgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 12:32 PM   #3
linzbear's Avatar
linzbear
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Outside of Boston, MA
Posts: 2,866
My Mood:
Re: Unconditional Parenting

Unconditional Parenting isn't against discipline, I thought? OP, have you tried contacting the book's author? I've heard he responds to email questions
__________________

ExtBFing, ERFing, CDing, bedsharing mama to Lucas (2-21-09), Gabriel (4-16-11), Elliot (1-17-14), and loving wife to Rodd
linzbear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 12:35 PM   #4
BootyGold's Avatar
BootyGold
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: North TX
Posts: 9,279
My Mood:
Re: Unconditional Parenting

Huh, no I haven't. Maybe I should.

Is it possible that he needs that much more structure? All kids are different...

I'm feeling like a total failure now.
__________________
Amy ~ wife to Dr. Mikey ~ mom to Tiny G (5/07) and my VBAC baby Small Fry (2/10)
BootyGold is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 12:36 PM   #5
BootyGold's Avatar
BootyGold
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: North TX
Posts: 9,279
My Mood:
Re: Unconditional Parenting

From my understanding, it pretty much is against discipline, in the traditional sense. Its more about guidance and working with the child. Making each experience an opportunity for teaching, etc.
__________________
Amy ~ wife to Dr. Mikey ~ mom to Tiny G (5/07) and my VBAC baby Small Fry (2/10)
BootyGold is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 01:20 PM   #6
z2akids's Avatar
z2akids
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,418
Re: Unconditional Parenting

How did you used to respond to hitting, telling you "no," etc? How have you been responding to those activities now?
__________________
Jennifer
z2akids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 01:43 PM   #7
iggyloo's Avatar
iggyloo
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 2,621
My Mood:
Re: Unconditional Parenting

The problem is, with ANY "style" of parenting, is that it's not one size fits all. Sometimes what you want to work, just doesn't for your child and your family. Try to give it a little more time. Really pay attention to exactly what is and isn't working. When you find something isn't working, try something else! Trust yourself and your child and you'll figure out what is the best for everyone.
__________________
Momma to Lily Grace Ryan 10/22/07 and Avaya Kai 10/30/10 Expecting #3 11/5/2014
iggyloo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 02:08 PM   #8
syfitz's Avatar
syfitz
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 7,728
My Mood:
Re: Unconditional Parenting

Quote:
Originally Posted by iggyloo View Post
The problem is, with ANY "style" of parenting, is that it's not one size fits all. Sometimes what you want to work, just doesn't for your child and your family. Try to give it a little more time. Really pay attention to exactly what is and isn't working. When you find something isn't working, try something else! Trust yourself and your child and you'll figure out what is the best for everyone.
Exactly. Try reading "Nurture by Nature"
I have four kids, and I parent each a bit differently.
__________________
Stacey ~ mama to 3 sweet girls and 1 little prince
syfitz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 02:14 PM   #9
Wildfire37's Avatar
Wildfire37
Registered Users
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Lancaster, KY
Posts: 39
Re: Unconditional Parenting

Quote:
Originally Posted by iggyloo View Post
The problem is, with ANY "style" of parenting, is that it's not one size fits all. Sometimes what you want to work, just doesn't for your child and your family. Try to give it a little more time. Really pay attention to exactly what is and isn't working. When you find something isn't working, try something else! Trust yourself and your child and you'll figure out what is the best for everyone.
Exactly this. Just keep trying until you find something that works.
Wildfire37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 02:17 PM   #10
BootyGold's Avatar
BootyGold
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: North TX
Posts: 9,279
My Mood:
Re: Unconditional Parenting

Quote:
Originally Posted by z2akids View Post
How did you used to respond to hitting, telling you "no," etc? How have you been responding to those activities now?
Before, I would say something like..."We don't hit, that is not nice and you can hurt someone that way. If you hit again, you will go in time out."

Now, I say "That hurts me when you hit. Would you want someone to hit you and make you feel badly?"

He's not hitting out of anger, he just thinks its funny So he just laughs at me. That can't be good!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by iggyloo View Post
The problem is, with ANY "style" of parenting, is that it's not one size fits all. Sometimes what you want to work, just doesn't for your child and your family. Try to give it a little more time. Really pay attention to exactly what is and isn't working. When you find something isn't working, try something else! Trust yourself and your child and you'll figure out what is the best for everyone.
Time outs work. Period. He's been a pretty easy going, respectful kid up until now. Of course he has his moments, but for the most part, he was cooperative, and liked being independent. I feel like I've opened this can of worms, and how can I go back to using time outs when now I know the potential long-term repercussions?
__________________
Amy ~ wife to Dr. Mikey ~ mom to Tiny G (5/07) and my VBAC baby Small Fry (2/10)
BootyGold is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.