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Old 08-16-2010, 08:25 PM   #1
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please share your bedtime routines :)

our background:
we have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old, and 1 yr old. each of the babies co-slept in our bed for at least 18 months before transitioning to a twin bed. everyone is always welcome to end up in our bed due to a bad dream or whatever ... the only problem is that if EVERYONE ends up in our bed during the same night, there's truly not enough room for 2 adults and 3 little ones. (we have a queen bed). it hasn't been an issue until our youngest came along, tipping the scale - LOL - on how many could fit in our bed.

we do not have space to do any bed-extenders or other family bed ideas. our master bedroom is on the main floor. all other bedrooms are upstairs.

we were hoping 5 yr old and 3 yr old would sleep together (like we did growing up) my sister and i had our own bedrooms, but would always fall asleep together in one of our rooms. dh and his brother had bunk beds and shared a room. our older two will only fall asleep if dh or i (they usually request me) lie down with them until they fall asleep. the only problem with that is that by the time they fall asleep, i fall asleep also. and i NEED the 2 hours after they go to bed to get caught up on housework, paperwork, etc. because there just isn't enough time during the day to get it all done!!!!?!

our bedtime routine is take bath, read books, say prayers, go to sleep (but it ALWAYS takes them over an hour to physically fall asleep)

i guess i'm just looking for some other ideas or routines to try out. whenever i bring this up with my IRL friends, i usually get an answer like this ..."well, if you would have let them CIO when they were little you wouldn't have this problem..." or "that's the problem you created by letting them co-sleep" blah blah blah

well, i don't agree b/c i do have several IRL friends who co-sleep/co-slept and their kids fall right to sleep after the last book and don't wake up until morning. our kids still wake up 1-2 per night on any given night. they don't really do anything different than we do. i think their kids are just 'easier' in the bedtime department, maybe?

sorry for rambling ... just sorting out my thoughts, i guess...

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Old 08-16-2010, 08:32 PM   #2
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

We have a similar situation. 3yo, 21mo, and one on the way with a Queen bed. The bigger I get the more uncomfortable we all are in bed! Our babies are also always welcome to come to our bed, were BF, coslept/sleep, non CIO, needed to be laid with to fall asleep, were terrible nappers from the get go, were up several times a night...

That being said (so you know that we are on the same page) I realized early in this pregnancy that we were not all going to fit in the Queen and that I had to do something before the new baby came. I bought 2 twins and put them together to make a King in the babies room and I started laying with them (only to fall asleep). Over the next 8 weeks I slowly went from laying with them, to sitting against the wall with them, to rubbing their feet, to sitting at the edge of the bed, to sitting on the floor, to sitting by the door, to sitting outside of the door, to sitting outside of the door behind a baby gate...it was a long process (and some nights I would just lay down with them) but now after brushing their teeth, reading a few books, hearing a story, singing a song, saying our prayers, giving hugs and kisses and snuggling they sweetly go to sleep on their own.

It can be done mama. I heard it all too. I caused it yadda, yadda. You have to let them cry. NO YOU DON'T. You don't have to let them cry you just have to put the time into it.

Good luck. Feel free to ask specifics.
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Old 08-16-2010, 08:39 PM   #3
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by kannondicarpo View Post
We have a similar situation. 3yo, 21mo, and one on the way with a Queen bed. The bigger I get the more uncomfortable we all are in bed! Our babies are also always welcome to come to our bed, were BF, coslept/sleep, non CIO, needed to be laid with to fall asleep, were terrible nappers from the get go, were up several times a night...

That being said (so you know that we are on the same page) ...

It can be done mama. I heard it all too. I caused it yadda, yadda. You have to let them cry. NO YOU DON'T. You don't have to let them cry you just have to put the time into it.

Good luck. Feel free to ask specifics.
thank you, i appreciate it we are deciding on what size of bed to put in on of the upstairs rooms. (one room has a twin. the other has a twin bed with a twin trundle underneath.) i'm not sure a full size would be big enough for nearly everyone to lie down together, so maybe we should put a queen in there?

i like you way of little baby steps - about how long did you spend on each "step" before moving to the next step? does that make sense?
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Old 08-16-2010, 08:42 PM   #4
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

We actually put the 2 twins together on the floor and in the day I would just flip the other one on top to store it for the day. We have since moved and they are in separate beds but are still in the same room (and often fall asleep together in one bed). I let them chatter and carry on because they fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time.

I would say that I spent about a week on each step. Sometimes a few days less, if I knew they could handle it, and sometimes a few extra days if they were struggling with it. I think the step that took the longest was when I was rubbing their feet and then when I went to sit by the door.

I think a full size would be fine for now but if you plan to keep them in the same bed for awhile you may want to bite the bullet and get a queen.
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Old 08-23-2010, 03:05 PM   #5
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

i think we're going to go ahead and get a queen.

anyone else want to share their bedtime routines?
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Old 08-23-2010, 03:11 PM   #6
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

speaking of mattresses...we have always had the traditional "mattress set" of mattress and box springs, but how necessary is that? is it mainly for height, or for "springy" comfort or for another reason???

i'm thinking it would be cheaper to have just the mattress on a platform bed, maybe i'm wrong. looking for more opinions, please
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Old 08-23-2010, 08:09 PM   #7
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

Ours is kinda sucky right now. DD is 5 months old. She gets a bath, watches her Praise Baby bed time lullabies DVD, then I nurse her to sleep (we cosleep-2 mattresses pushed together on the floor to make one big bed). She used to fall right to sleep but now it takes nursing, rocking, bouncing, nursing, lots of prayers on my part, and finally she falls asleep. She will wake up frequently after that; pretty much every 1-2 hours all night. It sucks.
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Old 08-23-2010, 08:14 PM   #8
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

We don't have the box springs. FWIW ... in my 1st trimester I comfortably napped on their bed everyday on the floor.
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Old 08-24-2010, 04:15 AM   #9
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

We just moved, and used that as a catalyst to change bedtime routine for our 19-mo old. Right now she's sleeping in our closet (no curtains up so I wanted a reasonably dark room for her- don't call CPS, the closet is huge!). We brush teeth, then do 'diapers and pajamas'. Right before we moved we switched her to the crib mattress right on the floor, but have a twin mattress right on the floor in her own room as soon as we get the room unpacked and curtains up. I sit on the edge of the bed and rub her back. I sing a bedtime song a few times, keep my voice low, and have a few phrases I repeat- lay down, it's bedtime, shhh. Takes about 20 minutes all together. I used to nap with her (in the hotel for 2 weeksbefore we moved), laying next to her, and for a while she would pat the pillow and cry if I didn't lay down but I just repeated 'I'm going to sit right here' and it only took a few nights of a few minutes of crying before she realized I wasn't going to lay down. I agree with PP, you need to do small steps. I tried a few days of sitting in a chair across the room and just telling her over and over again 'lay down' but she really just goes to sleep better with my hand on her back. Just a suggestion I've seen on nanny shows, once you get to the point where you can leave while they're still awake, set a timer when you enter the room and then leave when it goes off. You can slowly shorten the amount of time it takes, but eventually you could go into their room, do bedtime hugs/kisses/stories/songs/prayers for 20 minutes and when the timer goes off, the 'rule' is that mommy leaves. And if they come to your bed in the middle of the night, just walk them back to bed. After they're able to fall asleep on their own, they might not need to come to yours quite so often!!
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Old 08-24-2010, 12:45 PM   #10
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Re: please share your bedtime routines :)

I have a 3.5yo and a 1.5yo. They share a bedroom. As of this month, they now share a bedTIME.

We start at 7:20 with teethbrushing and potty.

Kiss Daddy, go to the bedroom. Stories for each of them (1-4 books total).

The little one gets a diaper, the older her pajamas.

We turn out the lights and I sing to the little one while holding her. It's a set playlist and hasn't changed since she was 4 mos old. I lay her in bed, hand her Kitty and Baby, kiss her cheek.

Put the older girl in bed, say prayers, talk about what tomorrow will be (who works, any events planned, etc.) Hugs, kisses, and I leave the room.

That's all and it's done by 7:50pm.
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