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Old 08-22-2010, 10:18 PM   #1
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Any daddies take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

We had my dh take off all 12 weeks of FMLA for the birth of this baby.... to help my toddler adjust, to help keep me from getting postpartum blues this time, and to try and enjoy some of summer. He has 2 weeks left but we are thinking of sending him back to work.......... it has ALL been unpaid. That is a lot of cash! But I just wondered if anyone else did it, and did you do it unpaid?

Thanks!

PS everyone around us thinks we were CRAZY for doing it and I kind of believe them. Although a lot of strangers we spoke to about it over the summer said "good for you" and thought it was great. Just another case of family not thinking we should "break the mold"........ but my mom may have called it, she thought he may lose his job if he does, and now his company is going through a huge lay-off, and we think because he took all this time off and turned all his projects over to other people that he will, indeed, get laid off! Upsetting because we will have to move away from here to find work then, and that means leaving my family behind.

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Old 08-22-2010, 10:27 PM   #2
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Re: Any daddy's take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

My husband took only 2 weeks, he was also fearful of losing his job (or possible promotion). It was not FMLA b/c he took 2 weeks, but they let him use sick time (which is not the norm, I know).

I'd say send him back . . . you have had a great 10 weeks Count your blessings and get a paycheck back!
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Old 08-22-2010, 10:34 PM   #3
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Re: Any daddy's take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

My son was born on a Tuesday and my hubby was back to a 12 hour workday the next Monday. We couldn't afford for him to take unpaid leave.
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Old 08-22-2010, 10:41 PM   #4
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Re: Any daddy's take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

After the birth of our second son I took my 12 weeks FMLA (actually my company didn't qualify because it was so small, but they gave it to me anyway) and when I went back to work, DH took his 12 weeks (which he was entitled to take because of the size of his company, time of employment, etc). So, we were able to wait until DS#2 was nearly 6 months before having to worry about childcare.

I stayed home for a year with our first, so DH only took a couple of weeks and have stayed home since our 3rd was born, so again he only took a couple of weeks off.

But, it was wonderful for him to be a SAHD for 3 months. He bonded beautifully with our then 2 year old and our new baby and he loved it. He used to bring the baby to me at work to nurse and have lunch, etc.

For us, it was worth every penny that he did not get paid. But, I don't think we would have both taken 12 weeks leave at the same time (and we didn't have him take 12 weeks when I was at home). It would have been wonderful to have 3 months of family time, but we could not afford for him to be at home for 3 months and then have me not go back to work.
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Old 08-22-2010, 11:23 PM   #5
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Re: Any daddy's take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

My husband only took a few days off for dd1 and none for dd2. It is like pulling teeth to ever get him to take time off, even though his company has two weeks of PAID paternity leave! He is a workaholic.
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Old 08-22-2010, 11:30 PM   #6
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Re: Any daddy's take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

I think whatever is best for your family is the right thing to do. If you are stressed about lay-offs, I say go back early. My husband took 2 weeks off with our first, and one week off, and second week half-days with our second. I'm a SAHM, so we couldn't afford any unpaid leave- he just took all his vacation days. Luckily, my mom lives nearby, and is a school teacher. Since both my babies were born in the summer, she was around a lot to help out.
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Old 08-23-2010, 12:31 AM   #7
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Re: Any daddy's take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

<-- Took my 12, then quit my job to SAHD.
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Old 08-23-2010, 06:10 AM   #8
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Re: Any daddy's take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

It would have been great to get 12 weeks. My poor DH was only allowed to use 1 week of his vacation time. His company requires you to give 1 year notice on vacation time. Obviously you can't do that with a baby but he did inform them of my due date and all that. Then he had to pull teeth to use his 1 week of vacation at the birth. He too was afraid to use his FMLA time. One of his co-workers used it when he was extremely ill. Even though the guy had a great work record he was the first one on the lay off list. It's terrible they can do that to people in this day and age.
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Old 08-23-2010, 06:23 AM   #9
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Re: Any daddies take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

When my son was born, DH had a week off but that was because he left one job and started the next on Oct 1 (DS was born sep 24). When my daughter was born, DH took the Wednesday before my induction through Sunday and was back at work on Monday....he had to use his vacation or it would have been unpaid and he is our only income.
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Old 08-23-2010, 06:23 AM   #10
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Re: Any daddies take off all 12 weeks FMLA?

When my son was born, DH had a week off but that was because he left one job and started the next on Oct 1 (DS was born sep 24). When my daughter was born, DH took the Wednesday before my induction through Sunday and was back at work on Monday....he had to use his vacation or it would have been unpaid and he is our only income.
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